New here and would like some advice about something...

Shopaholic30

Hello all! I am new here and hoping that I get some good, wholesome advice here for my question.

First, I just found out I am pregnant YESTERDAY!!

I have one child. He is 9 years old. What are some good ways to prepare and transition my child for the arrival of this 2nd baby.

Keep in mind, he is 9. Not a baby. Has been used to being the only child and spoiled!!!!  I am also waiting a few weeks to tell him.

 

Thanks in advance.

star anice

Welcome! Some rules first.

It is recommended you lurk first before you begin posting. You can start posting once you know my first name. 

Also, each poster is allowed one ticker per child. I don't care if you feed your little bastard boob juice or crippy, do not attempt to creat another ticker for it. I won't stand for it, I won't.  

Lastly, please do not respond to any threads that have had zero activity for more than twenty (20) consecutive minutes. If you do, your computer will self destruct.  

tkturbo2012

Hi and Congrats!!

I don't have children yet, but from what I have seen work well in the hospital setting and what I have been told by parents, be sure to actively involve your child. Have your 9 yo pick out something for the baby. Have the child come to appts and feel the baby. Let them slowly form their own bond with the baby. I think it may be easier to start things on the right foot, then to force things later. Of course, it seems like there are times where the child will have a hard time accepting baby, because they will feel like they are losing you. Make sure you still spend special bonding time, and always say I love you. Let things fall into place, and good luck!

proudworkingmom82

star anice:

Welcome! Some rules first.

It is recommended you lurk first before you begin posting. You can start posting once you know my first name. 

Also, each poster is allowed one ticker per child. I don't care if you feed your little bastard boob juice or crippy, do not attempt to creat another ticker for it. I won't stand for it, I won't.  

Lastly, please do not respond to any threads that have had zero activity for more than twenty (20) consecutive minutes. If you do, your computer will self destruct.  

LAME! 

Shopaholic30

proudworkingmom82:

star anice:

Welcome! Some rules first.

It is recommended you lurk first before you begin posting. You can start posting once you know my first name. 

Also, each poster is allowed one ticker per child. I don't care if you feed your little bastard boob juice or crippy, do not attempt to creat another ticker for it. I won't stand for it, I won't.  

Lastly, please do not respond to any threads that have had zero activity for more than twenty (20) consecutive minutes. If you do, your computer will self destruct.  

LAME! 

Yeah this was the first comment on got after joining this site yesterday. I don't even understand it. But I do know that anyone who talks that way sure as hell isn't going to be allowed   haha

Shopaholic30

tkturbo2012:

Hi and Congrats!!

I don't have children yet, but from what I have seen work well in the hospital setting and what I have been told by parents, be sure to actively involve your child. Have your 9 yo pick out something for the baby. Have the child come to appts and feel the baby. Let them slowly form their own bond with the baby. I think it may be easier to start things on the right foot, then to force things later. Of course, it seems like there are times where the child will have a hard time accepting baby, because they will feel like they are losing you. Make sure you still spend special bonding time, and always say I love you. Let things fall into place, and good luck!

 

Hello and thankyou! Great idea...letting him form HIS OWN BOND with baby. I already planned on letting him be involved with doc visits and so on but actually letting him picky outfits, toys, ect is a great idea. Therefore he will feel more like a big responsible brother rather than jealous or feel resentment. I have been a single mother with him his whole life. Him and my boyfriend do get along though. This will be a big transition for both of us. But I am going to make damn sure that he understand that he is STILL MY BABY and ALWAYS WILL BE. I know that him being 9, 10 when baby is born, is going to really change his world so I want to make sure that he feels just as loved when it happens.

Twinkie0612

My nephew was 9 when his baby brother arrived last September.  My sister made sure he was really involved in planning for the baby.  He got to pick out some items to buy for the baby, he went to the ultrasound to find out the sex of the baby and he took a sibling's class at the hospital. They also made sure that everything wasn't always about the baby and tried to give him lots of one on one attention as well.

Overall, they were lucky.  My nephew was really excited about getting a baby brother, he had been asking for one since he was three. 

Shopaholic30

Twinkie0612:

My nephew was 9 when his baby brother arrived last September.  My sister made sure he was really involved in planning for the baby.  He got to pick out some items to buy for the baby, he went to the ultrasound to find out the sex of the baby and he took a sibling's class at the hospital. They also made sure that everything wasn't always about the baby and tried to give him lots of one on one attention as well.

Overall, they were lucky.  My nephew was really excited about getting a baby brother, he had been asking for one since he was three. 

My son has also been asking since he was 3   Sibling class...interesting and great idea. Thanks for the adv

Twinkie0612

Shopaholic30:

Twinkie0612:

My nephew was 9 when his baby brother arrived last September.  My sister made sure he was really involved in planning for the baby.  He got to pick out some items to buy for the baby, he went to the ultrasound to find out the sex of the baby and he took a sibling's class at the hospital. They also made sure that everything wasn't always about the baby and tried to give him lots of one on one attention as well.

Overall, they were lucky.  My nephew was really excited about getting a baby brother, he had been asking for one since he was three. 

My son has also been asking since he was 3   Sibling class...interesting and great idea. Thanks for the adv

The sibling class was really cute at the hospital she delivered at.  He learned how to swaddle a baby, give the baby a bottle, how to bathe the baby, etc.  at the end he got a certificate and made a sign to go in his brother's bassinet at the hospital that had his picture on it.  My sister was afraid it would he geared toward younger kids (Like 5 and under), but my nephew really enjoyed it.

SmileyJay

I think 9 years is an excellent age to welcome a new baby brother or sister. He is old enough that you can reason with him and explain what is going on. 

I would involve him as much as possible. Let him help anywhere you can... decorating a nursery, picking out baby stuff, and even choosing a name. He is definitely old enough to learn about the birthing process and attend ultrasounds. Well, I guess that depends on your particular child. If you think he is mature enough then this could be an excellent learning experience for him.

You didn't say if your son's father is also the father of the new baby, but I assume it is. If he is not, you may want to just talk to your son about some of his feelings. He is entitled to feel sensitive about you having a baby with someone else if that is the case.  This can be a hard thing for a child to accept but just assure him you could never love this baby more than you love him, and you will love seeing him with his sibling.

 It would be a great time to get him involved in something to get him out of the house when the baby comes. Keep him distracted with sports, art, or something he really enjoys a few days a week. You can also get a "big brother" gift for him to give him when the baby arrives.