Parenting after 35
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Just found out on Monday night...

Well, here's the nuts and bolts of it.  I'm 42.  My husband of 6 months (9/17/12 anniversary) is 26.  I have an 18 year old daughter.  Yes, he's my second husband and yes he's 15.5 years younger than I am.  When we got married we thought we'd want to get pregnant ASAP if ever.  I told him I'd try until I turned 42 (in March), and then we'd stop.  We did a couple rounds of clomid with no pregnancy.  Well 42 came and went in March and we decided we wouldn't try as aggressively, but just give it until the end of the year to happen naturally.  It seems to have worked.  But I'll be honest, I was really OK with the idea of remaining just the 2 of us, especially since my 18 year old daughter is living with us and is a college student (and we're footing the bill).  Now that I'm pregnant, I'm terrified.  An infant?  In this small house with 3 adults?  This body having a baby after 19 years?  I was 23 the last time, now I'm 42.  That's a huge difference.  I was honestly more scared than excited when we found out on Monday night.  My husband is so excited.  He can hardly wait to be a dad.  I need to hitch a ride on his excitement, because right now all I can feel is scared.

Re: Just found out on Monday night...

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    First, congratulations!!  

    It will be ok.  DD1 was 17 when DD2 was born.  I was 20 when I had her and then 37 when DD2 showed up.  The only difference that I had between the two pregnancies as far as how my body handled them was that I was more tired with DD2.  I have no idea if that had anything to do with age or not.  But I actually gained less weight with DD2 than when pregnant with DD1.  And DD2 is now off to college and I am footing most of the bill.  I wish she was living at home as it would be less expensive.  It's very early in your pregnancy, but you may find that after the shock wears off, you are just as excited as your DH.  

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    mwdmwd member
    Welcome, congrats, and kudos for marrying a young one ;-)! You'll be fine,  if anything, you have the opportunity to make better choices with this pregnancy. Good luck! 
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    Much congrats!
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    So my mother had me at nearly 26, and my brother at 42. She did fine although she consistently said it was easier to bounce back in her 20s. It was also easier to watch a baby with the extra sets of "adult" eyes. I loved having a baby in the house at16 and on and was able to help out a bit and bond with my brother, my sister had a little different experience. We did all survive it, and my brother turned out great! A combination of a more laid back parenting approach with "extra" supervision I think ::smiles:: and congrats.
    I am 40 and 6 months per the sonogram. And this is my first baby. While I helped raise my little brother 24 years ago and have done tons of baby sitting, I have never labored or delivered or been the go to 24 hours a day..... My husband father of three from previous marriage is also ber excited. I can feel you,Sister! And we are going to be okay! Even though we're in the same boat, you have a way better knowledge base, and young hubby will have the energy and excitement to pitch in a lot! And love and life grand?!? ::smiles: hugs::
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    I had my first (and only) baby at 40, but I can relate to the rest. Husband is 13 years younger and was very enthusiastic, but I spent the entire pregnancy ambivalent.

    It did all work out just fine.

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    Thanks everyone for the encouraging words.  I'm glad to hear that others have been through similar struggles.  I hope when I'm finally done with this first trimester and I'm not so tired, then I can get some more enthusiasm for a new baby.  My 19 year old has had a steady boyfriend for a long time and is already talking marriage and babies.  Her concern if I have another baby now is that I won't be able to sufficiently spoil her kids like a grandma should.  I think that's a legitimate concern.  But at the same time, I'm hoping if she lives with me when our new baby comes home, maybe she'll wait a little while before having her own kids and let herself get settled first.  I guess I'll just wait and see what the universe has in mind for all of us :)  Thanks again.
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    Congrats to you and YH! I am sure that things will be terrific once you get over the shock and get your mind around it. I always joke by saying "now I know why people are supposed to have babies in their 20s!" DS exhausts me but he is a ton of fun too and I wouldn't want things any other way. I wish you all the best and a very healthy and happy 9 mos!
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    I'm 37, and pregnant with my second child.  My first child is 9.  I did the same thing as you.  It was completely scary!  You know everything is going to shift and change (even if it's good).  I stayed nervous for a while.  I have to say I"m excited now.  Stay positive!  You will be a great parent.  Congrats!!!
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    I had my first at 37 and my second at 39 - now that I'm 41 I have to say I'm not sure if I will survive my toddler :-) but your body (and you) should do just fine with your pregnancy. I don't think I would feel a lot different in my 20s than I do now (I am probably in better shape). You've probably forgotten how tired and difficult it was when you were younger so try not to tell yourself "it was so much easier when I was younger!" First tri also completely sucked for me, I was sick and exhausted with both of them, but felt fine after that. Good Luck!!!
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