Deciding whether or not to have a Doula...
Khaleesi07
member
*Sigh* I'm five months pregnant, first time mother, determined to go natural and not let anyone do anything to my body that I'm not comfortable with.
I'm a little on the fence about having a Doula, since every single one in my area is at least $1,000. I'm the type of person where I know I'm not going to want anyone touching me or hovering over me, and I'm not too keen on a "stranger" hanging around the whole time. I'd really perfer it to be just my boyfriend and I, not even family members or parents. With that said, I know how important a Doula is with regards to advocating on the mother's behalf, and helping cope with pain, and other discomforts that come with labor & delivery, with a more natural approach, which is what I prefer.
I'm a bit hesitant to spend that kind of money...it would take a huge chunk of our savings. I was laid off for a while last year, and just as we are slowly starting to catch up on bills again, I got pregnant! The good news is that I'm working now, but I won't be working or having any sort of income for 4 months while I'm on maternity leave. My boyfriend works in non-profit, so we're not exactly rolling in $$$. We are already working on cutting back expenses, we only have one car, switchted to cheaper cell phone plans, and have cut back on eating out, going out, spending money on extras, ect.
Even with all of that my bf is till hesitant to spend the money on a Doula, and overall, I just don't think he "gets" how important it is to me to avoid having interventions' and have the most natural birth possible. We're spending $160 on hypnobabies, but if possible I would like to have someone there to go the extra mile to advocate with me, because so far I'm not sure he will be able to. I know he wants what's best for me, but he listens to A LOT of nonsense his mother goes on about, and not to be rude, but the last time she had a child was 1978. They all think I'm crazy for wanting to cloth diaper, (or at least find an chemical free disposable), go natural, eat organic, ect. She just isn't into the whole "natural" process, and I wish she would stop filling my bf's head with crap!
Does anyone know of any possible alternatives to getting a Doula? I'm going to look into the cost of a newly certified Doula, or Doula in training, and see if that is possible. If I can't find any Doula alternatives or something affordable, I might have to go with the last resort, which is having my mom there. She's had two medicated births, and two natural births, so she's been through both, and is very supportive of my wishes to go natural. However, she can be VERY hovering and overbearing at times, which I know is going to piss me off. But if I feel like I need someone to advocate with me, she is probably the best option outside of a Doula or a trained expert.
Anyone else going through the same thing, or have any advice?
Re: Deciding whether or not to have a Doula...
A doula in training or new doula is generally much more affordable.
If you know any one other than your mother that has had med-free births, you could ask her about supporting you. I'd be excited to go through birth with one of my friends! Anyone
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For the birth of my first child, I wanted a natural childbirth, and we did a Hypnobirthing class, which was helpful, but the best was having a midwife instead of an OB. Insurance covered the care, and when we got overwhelmed in labor, the midwife
Thanks for the advice everyone
Phudd, I am actually already seeing a midwife! She has been really supportive my of my natural birthing plan, and the hospital I'm going to is very natural friendly. They have birthing balls, bars, whirlpool tubs, ect.