Freaking Out

KelleyRay27

Hello, I guess this is sort of an intro post. I apologize ahead of time for any craziness that I may put off. As the post states, I'm freaking out just a little.

I was posting on the August bumpies '12 for a while but am now coming over here because, well, I guess I'm pregnant again. About 5 weeks I think.

I was in shock, then denial, but now I'm just freaking out. My husband and I planned our first baby, now 8 months, and we were very excited from the very beginning. We recently talked about how we were going to wait at least another year before trying for a second, and that was what we were planning.

I have been taking the mini pill since giving birth to my baby girl. But stupid me didn't switch off the mini pill to the regular pill soon enough, apparently, because less than 1 month after stopping breast feeding, we are pregnant again. I can't believe how stupid we were (I was) in thinking I wouldn't be able to get pregnant again so soon. We are right in the middle of buying a house and we have big medical bills from the first baby and a surgery I had in November, (on top of the student loan debt that will forever plague me) and needless to say, my husband is less than thrilled about this second baby, and I don't know what to think.

The possibility of "terminating" came up but while I am pro-choice, it just doesn't feel right to me to do it. I feel like I will regret it forever.

I am excited about this baby, as we always planned on having two, but it has really caught us off guard, and I just don't know how we are going to support a second baby right now. I also have this weird feeling that I am neglecting my little one in a way because I will be focusing on this new baby now, when I feel like I haven't had nearly enough bonding time with my current baby. (I know that is dumb because the second baby will never have the "one on one" time I got with my first, but I still feel that way).

So I guess I just needed to vent, and maybe get some "unicorns and rainbows" support that 2 u 2 really is the best way to go and that everything happens for a reason and it will all be wonderful!

Sigh. It's the middle of the night and I have work tomorrow. I can't sleep. I don't know what to do with myself!!!

jmdahn

Everything happens for a reason- and you will figure it out. There will always be something that makes you second guess the 2nd baby...bills, house, new roof.  Look at it from a different view- so many people want babies so bad- but can't get pregnant or keep lossing them. Take a deep breath and enjoy your little one and relax in that first trimester while your baby isn't mobile yet! 

Koru00

I completely understand where you're coming from. I took a hpt and have a dr appt on the first to confirm everything, but all I want to do is lay in bed in cry. My daughter will be 9 months on the 30th and my fianc and I were not planning on another baby for about 3 years. I wanted plenty of quality time with my daughter. I'm also a full time student so my fianc is supporting us. My fianc has barely spoken to me in since we found out. I had an abortion several years ago and even though it came up in conversation I can't bring myself to go through with it again. I just wanted to let you know that you aren't the only facing similar situation. Things will work out. My only advice would to let your husband have some time to process everything and talk about if again. You're the one that would have to live through the experience of abortion or adaption. It's more personal for women. Good luck!

MitoRachel

I found out I was pregnant when my oldest was 6 months. It does take a while to get used to the idea of 2 kids so close together. Now I am really excited about how close in age they will be! I think one thing that is hard at the beginning of a 2 under 2 pregnancy is that it is really hard to imagine what your oldest baby will be like in 8-9 months. On the financial front we really haven't had to buy a whole lot for baby #2. Of course there is still the hospital bill and if you need childcare, but with our oldest it felt like we needed approximately a mountain of things. 

carabear80

I understand the "freaking out" feeling.  I got a +HPT when DD was 8 months old as well.  We weren't trying, however, we weren't preventing either.  We were planning on having a second child sooner rather than later.  It took a few days because we weren't expecting it, but we are so excited.  DD and LO #2 will be 17 months apart so they will be close friends

fairbl

I don't want to offend you in any way and I don't know if you believe in God, but I'm praying that He gives you peace. I will say that I have a 2.5 year old and an aug 2012 baby and dh and i would love a positive hpt. I know it may not be the best timing for you, but I'm thinking of you and hoping things will work out for the better.

jessalynn521

As a fellow August 12 mom, I don't want to be anything but supportive so take this in that tone. 

Give yourself some time. I got my +hpt in December and am due in August again. We weren't initially planning to start trying for number 2 until my son was 1.5 years. I think it took me a solid 2 weeks just to let it sink in that my kids would be about 12 months apart. My best advice is give it some time. You just found out that there is another HUGE change in your future. You need time to digest that.

Also give your H some time to digest too. Babies are big news. See if he doesn't warm up to the idea over the next few weeks/months. Just remember it is a big transition and sometimes hard to digest all at once. 

chicha0719

First of all, big hugs to you. I've definitely felt that way as well. My son and daughter are 11 months and 4 days apart.
When I found out I was pregnant with my daughter, I was so excited, yet so upset. I am also a full time student and we both work and my son was only 3 months old. I was so scared I wouldn't love this Baby the same way, and that she was almost intruding on my time with my son.
Since she's been born, I have been so so in love. It's hard and so challenging. It's hectic and crazy. But let me tell you, it does get better. It's so amazing to see the two of them interact.
I hope you and your husband overcome this obstacle together and soon see all the positives in your future. No one ever has a baby exactly at the right time.
Good luck!

KelleyRay27

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for the support. The shock is still lingering but slowly starting to wear off, for both my husband and I. It's hard to adjust right away to something so life changing that you weren't expecting, but every day we are both getting more and more excited. I'm still not able to get used to the idea that I'm actually pregnant another summer in a row, but I think it will sink in with a little more time to come. I'm glad I have 8 months to prepare for another bundle of joy, but I am so happy my little DD will have a sister or brother so soon!

Mrs MoJoRisin

I found out I was pregnant when my son was about 3 months old. Ours are 11 months and 4 days apart. I believe the f bomb flew out of my mouth for the rest of the evening and perhaps the next day. Everything has worked out, and I am sure everything will for you also. Deep breaths!

lp0

I'm sorry you're having a hard time digesting the idea of having another baby but give it some time. My DS is 16 months (which is about the same age your lo will be when this baby comes along) and he is worlds away from what he was at 8 months. He is so much easier and more independent then he was. He has an amazing understanding of things and while he is still a baby, he seems like such a big boy now as well. 

This pregnancy was a surprise for us too. We were planning on ttc in June, which isn't that far off so in the grand scheme of things it doesn't really matter but I feel like I was not mentally prepared to be pregnant again. It took 6 months to get pregnant with DS so I figured by the time it happened again DS would be closer to 2 1/2 - 3. Well I guess this lo had other plans because it was our one and only slip up and bam I got pregnant. It took a little time to adjust to the idea but we are over the moon excited. I know this was not in your plans but this lo is supposed to be here for a reason so give it sometime and let it play out. GL! 

Daisy22

Ds1 was 6mths old when I got pregnant with ds2. I hyperventilated on the kitchen floor and it was the one time I have ever called dh to tell him he had to come home from work. I was a mess and was a mess for most of the pregnancy. I had a lot guilt about not being able to do things with ds1 and then I felt bad for not being over the moon excited about ds2 coming. I didn't know how I'd handle two so close together. Once I saw ds2 I knew he was so meant to be. I won't lie the first 6 months were hard having the 2 of them b/c they were so close in age but I wouldn't change it. They love each other so much and play together all the time. DS1 doesn't remember a time without ds2. They are the best of friends. I love it. It's scary when you are not planning something and the unknown is hard but you will get through and you will figure it out. 

Sarelnad

I am feeling the pain too. I had a panic attack when I got my BFP. My LO wasn't even 6 months yet and we were NOT planning this. I am trying really hard to think positively about it but it is still freaking me out a bit. Everyday I say this to myself: it will be okay. It will be okay. It will be okay. I keep thinking about the fact that I won't sleep for another year and a half. Sleep is over rated anyway right?  We can sleep when we're dead. 

watercolor5

I'm in a really similar situation... I have a Sept 2012 baby and found out I was pregnant again- I had been on the mini pill for a while but went off of it because hormonal bc gives me depression, so we were using pull n pray and I was still breastfeeding, though DD is eating solids now. 

I totally freaked out too.  DH and I wanted 3 kids eventually, but I had illusions of having the first one out of diapers before we tried again.  He was out of work and I SAH, so that added to the stress.  The few people I told said congratulations, and I looked at them like they were absolutely crazy.

BUT the more it is sinking in, the more excited I'm getting.  As you said, you wanted another baby, it's just not the timing you planned.  I look at my daughter and I get overwhelmed by the amount of work two will be.  But then I also get overwhelmed by how much joy and pride she brings into our lives.  Babies are such a blessing, and no matter how much harder life gets in the temporary, it will invariably get better in the long term. 

I don't know if anything I said helps at all, but if you want to talk, I do understand some of what you're feeling, and you can feel free to PM me, even if just to vent.

ETA: My freaking out post:

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/73293542.aspx

Elli143

KelleyRay27:

Hello, I guess this is sort of an intro post. I apologize ahead of time for any craziness that I may put off. As the post states, I'm freaking out just a little.

I was posting on the August bumpies '12 for a while but am now coming over here because, well, I guess I'm pregnant again. About 5 weeks I think.

I was in shock, then denial, but now I'm just freaking out. My husband and I planned our first baby, now 8 months, and we were very excited from the very beginning. We recently talked about how we were going to wait at least another year before trying for a second, and that was what we were planning.

I have been taking the mini pill since giving birth to my baby girl. But stupid me didn't switch off the mini pill to the regular pill soon enough, apparently, because less than 1 month after stopping breast feeding, we are pregnant again. I can't believe how stupid we were (I was) in thinking I wouldn't be able to get pregnant again so soon. We are right in the middle of buying a house and we have big medical bills from the first baby and a surgery I had in November, (on top of the student loan debt that will forever plague me) and needless to say, my husband is less than thrilled about this second baby, and I don't know what to think.

The possibility of "terminating" came up but while I am pro-choice, it just doesn't feel right to me to do it. I feel like I will regret it forever.

I am excited about this baby, as we always planned on having two, but it has really caught us off guard, and I just don't know how we are going to support a second baby right now. I also have this weird feeling that I am neglecting my little one in a way because I will be focusing on this new baby now, when I feel like I haven't had nearly enough bonding time with my current baby. (I know that is dumb because the second baby will never have the "one on one" time I got with my first, but I still feel that way).

So I guess I just needed to vent, and maybe get some "unicorns and rainbows" support that 2 u 2 really is the best way to go and that everything happens for a reason and it will all be wonderful!

Sigh. It's the middle of the night and I have work tomorrow. I can't sleep. I don't know what to do with myself!!!

I could have written this entire thing myself. Can we be friends?