So torn...

We were approached about a potential match a few weeks ago. We did research about mental health histories and decided to be considered. Last week we were told that the couple decided to proceed with the other couple. Apparently, the father was drawn to us and mother to the other family. The social worker even went ahead and told us in detail what the expectant parents said about us and why/why not they didn't pick us. We were crushed. This morning, I received an email saying that the match fell though and asking if we are interested in being reconsidered. My husband is all about moving forward, but I am stuck and unsure. Knowing what the expectant mom's perception of us is really hard to move past...(we are overly focused on education, family might play too much of a role in our life, and we do not seem like free spirits). I wanted so badly for this match to work and was broken hearted when we found out. If I wasn't told what she thought about us, then I would be so excited and this wouldn't even be a decision or a dilemma. 

Anybody have this same experience? Any advice or insight would be so helpful. 

Re: So torn...

  • While it stings to hear things like that, maybe look at this as an opportunity to prove her wrong in her perceptions of you based upon just your profile book. After our first meeting with our son's BM, she said she had so much more clarification about who

    :::Our Adoption Journey:::

    Evan James was born 1/24/13 and matched with us 2/20/13. The LOVE OF MY LIFE!!!
  • I agree with Mush- I think I would say yes to being reconsidered, keeping in mind it isn't necessarily going to work out. Perhaps the couple the mother first thought she liked wasn't actually what she had in mind for her child. Maybe she realizes the q

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  • Do you feel like her perception is accurate? I guess I'd want to offer and receive some clarification on those points (none of which are bad in my eyes, just seem like different priorities in life). Either, yes, education & family is very very impo

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  • Thank you for the advice/insight. Stepping back and thinking about it makes me remember how excited we were with the thought of potentially being matched with this family although I am scared to get rejected twice by them.

     I am going to hav

  • Her perception in regards to education and family is 100% accurate and the reason the father was drawn to us.  I guess I'm just mad that the agency told us so much information that it makes me feel stuck. Also, keep in mind, my husband is the logi

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