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Parenting
Jodi
How did things go last night? Any discussion when you got home?
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Re: Jodi
Eh, they went alright last night.
He went shooting --- so didn't get home until after 9:30. I was already in bed and finished watching Criminal Minds and then we talked about how shooting was, etc. He then started kissing me. And I said, "See, why do I feel like I have to tell you right now that we are NOT going to have sex!" (he was mad that I said that to him the night before --- he claims he was just trying to kiss me!) Uh-huh!
Well, he said, "This is called foreplay. I'm just messing around with you. If it happens that you get worked up and want it, then cool. If not, we can stop whenever you want. No big deal!" He said some other stuff, that I can't recall right now. But honestly, I'm so used to him getting pissy if I tell him no --- that it's just what I expect.
Anyway --- so we ended up talking a little more and he said "you did a good job of ruining the mood!" We kissed, said good night and went to bed.
This morning --- ARGH! The shop next to him was broken in to last night. He was, understandably, in a rush to get down to his shop to check it out and make sure everything was ok. He has the kids today and Cam, because she goes to bed so late, was exhausted and would NOT cooperate. She is really a pip lately --- she does NOT like getting dressed. Especially pants and shoes. So anyway, she was giving him a wicked hard time --- he got ticked off and started yelling at her "I need to get down to my shop. It could have been robbed and no one freaking cares!" Oh good God --- dramatic much! I said, "She is TWO! She is tired AND she does not have a clue what the hell "getting robbed" means, nor does she care! Nor SHOULD she care!" I said, "Why don't you go to your shop and I'll stay here with her?" (Of course, in a snotty tone because I'm already at the point where I'm almost late for work!) I said, "Go check it out and then come back after you are done!" He said, "No, just go!" I said, "It's like dealing with a third child!" (dig, dig, dig) He said, "You can just leave!"
Careful what you wish for there buddy!
At any rate, I've come to the realization that --- the more I like myself, the less I like him!
He won't go talk to someone on his own and he won't go on meds --- even though I strongly believe he needs to do both.
It's going to come down to an ultimatum.
It's sad/scary that I was looking at houses online this morning --- for one to buy WITHOUT him!
Well, I know the feeling. The medication has literally saved our marriage. There is a house in foreclosure arond the corner from my parents...I was about to call and go see it when everything started to straighten out. You have to be prepared for whatever happens. It is not bad to keep your options open.
Thankfully I have a great support system full of people that would do whatever was necessary to make sure me and my kids had a place to live. So I've never really worried about that. But I would want more for my kids.
My hometown (where both of my sisters and dad still live) is relatively inexpensive as far as housing is concerned. I found at least 10 potentials that are all under $200k -- which I could afford myself.
I feel/sound as if I have one foot out the door. I love him so much! I really do. But I honestly don't like him very much. The thought of having sex with him makes me want to puke. That's not really a good feeling to have about your husband!
And I have always said that if I EVER feel as though my kids would be better off with us divorced, that I would do it.
And I'm definitely nearing that point.
We are making each other MISERABLE --- which is making our kids miserable! I honestly think that we could both "handle" them better on our own --- and would actually cherish the time spent with them.
I know. I was feeling exactly the same way...how can you love someone so much, and yet not like anything about them? It's a very bizarre feeling, and I think it's what makes it so tough.
I have a really hard time understanding why anyone would refuse medication. It months to get Scott to see he needed it. My grandmother was literally miserable her whole life, she definitely had a chemical imbalance but would not see a doctor. When she was a kid, she had 2 relatives that were placed in asylums, and she associated drugs with crazy. I don't get it...if you could be happy why would you choose not to be?
HA! This .........."if you could be happy why would you choose not to be?"
One of my BIGGEST complaints about Joe is that he is a freaking martyr! Through and through. It's SOOOOOO annoying!