Newbie...

MJC1116

Hi Ladies,

After lurking for a while, I've decided it was time for me to join up with you (if you'll have me!) since I feel so alone in my struggles with 2IF. I've never posted to a community board, so hopefully I'm doing this right. It feels like I'm back in middle school trying to make new friends on the playground

 A little about me... DH and I are both 28 and have been TTC for about 16 months. We waited until DD was close to two before we started trying again, partially because DH was starting his MBA program, but mostly because I got pregnant so quickly the first time that I was certain I was a fertile myrtle.

 After about 6 months of failures, I knew something was not right, but because of my age, my OB kept telling me to give myself more time. By the year mark, she recommended a great RE who ran the gamut of tests and determined I have a slightly elevated FSH/slightly lower AMH and AFC of 11-13 (on two different months monitored). I think I may have LPD, too, because I ovulate late (usually day 19 or 20) and have a pretty regular 29 day cycle. DH was deemed to have "super swimmers" so the problem is definitely with me.

After months of wallowing in denial ("no, the doctor must be wrong.") and self-pity ("how could this be happening to me!"), I read every book under the sun regarding natural conception, acupuncture, herbs, mental attitude, yoga, etc. I noticed some major changes in my cycle and general wellness, but still no pregnancy. And, thankfully, no MCs either, which makes me thank my lucky stars.

DH and I have finally gotten to the point where we recognize we need help, but I'm terrified of the emotional toll it will take as we embark on our journey. I'm so scared to get a BFP. I know that seems backwards, but after 16 months of disappointment, I wouldn't know how to handle good news. We don't know where we will start first... and I still don't know how I feel about IVF...but I am going to have my FSH levels re-tested in a month to see if there have been any changes or if my levels are stable. This will ultimately determine our course of action. RE is optimistic given my age and that I've carried a pregnancy to term, but I'm still trying to get over this "why is this happening to me" attitude. It's so hard to NOT compare myself to every other person my age who seems to be getting pregnant like it's going out of style (and shouting from the rooftops how fertile they are via facebook).

 Thanks for reading this long post. If anything I hope to find strength in numbers since I feel so alone in my struggle. I know I'm not the only one, but it's so hard talking to women about this when they just don't understand. I hope, in return, I can offer words of advice, encouragement, or just an ear to listen.

MJC1116

And by "women" I mean those who don't know what IF feels like...

mlamping

Hello and welcome. I am sorry you find youself here. Well I know how you feel and you are not alone. I read somewhere that one in three women has some infertility issues. Do not quate me on this. 

In my case the issue is with DH, I am comple

slstine19

I am pretty new here and also lurked for a while.  DH and I are both 38 and a DS who will be 2 in a couple of months.  The best thing about these community boards is that you do not have to be scared of the questions you want to ask others. &nbs

HairStylinWifey

Welcome to our board! I can totally relate to your post! I'm 24 with elevated FSH and low AMH. I conceived DD on our 10th cycle all by ourselves without any issues- so this whole dealio is a huge kink in the ol life plans.

I have been blogging

huskermama

You are definintely in the right place.  I am still relatively new myself, but have found a ton of support here and comfort in knowing I am not alone in my struggles.  Best of luck to you!

kimberm0511

Welcome! This a great board and you will find lots of support here. Good luck with your journey! Hopefully you won't get to this point, but if you ever have to go the IVF route then I can tell you it isn't so bad. It is overwhelming and stressful at t

tryingyetagain

Welcome to the board.  I think we have all been there, wondering "why me?"  So you are in the right place!  Best of luck to you for a sticky bfp in the near future!

MJC1116

Thanks for the kind words! I read your blog and felt like I had written it myself! Seriously, your experiences are so similar to mine. I really appreciate your post on why Christians chose IVF. Part of DH's and my issues stem from our religious beliefs (w

MJC1116

Thank you all so much for the warm welcome! I am looking forward to sharing this journey with you and appreciate your insight and comfort so much!