Kicked out by my baby's father...

tai1414

So my baby's father (my boyfriend, we aren't married) has been going out drinking nearly every night since baby was one week old. He has admitted it is wrong, just he is stressed he says... I finally gave up on trying to get ahold of him while he was out in order to stop the arguing. He then started saying how "I don't care" about him anymore and when would things go back to how they were before we had the baby. (well, once he stops going out every night getting plastered maybe!) I told him that & he said to stop putting all the blame on him. Doesn't help the situation that his mother & sister think I make him miserable with unrealistic expectations of him & that no matter what he does it will never be good enough for me. They tell him how proud of him they are and that I am basically just a crazy, paranoid mother. Well, 4 days ago his mother called demanding we go over to her house for dinner with our son. (she is welcome at our home, but I don't feel comforable going to her house since she does illegal drugs there) It started a fight & I confronted her telling her to let us be the parents and to stop trying to control our son. She basically just told me I had issues and bashed me with many rude comments. I told my boyfriend what she said and he asked me to move out. Kept telling me very rudely to leave, get out, right now. So, I packed what me & our baby needed and left to my grandmother's (the only family member I have in town). He is now saying that we need the time apart and this is just a break... I don't know what to do because he has a serious drinking problem and with his mother being addicted to drugs it scares me to leave him & have to share my baby with these people and not know what is going on when I am not around... Any advice would be much appreciated. Thank you.

babymama619

I know it's awful, but get out while you can. This situation is clearly headed in a bad direction. He might say he is going to change, but until you actually see hat happen you cannot trust it. I say start getting your things in order to get out of that house no matter how difficult it may be.

nikkilyn35

i agree with previous reply. his mother is an addict, he is becoming an addict if he isn't one already.  because of the drinking and drug issues, you can request supervised visitation for him and his family.   make sure you are showing that your request is not vindictive, just out of concern for your child's welfare.  Otherwise, stay with your grandmother if possible until you are on your feet.

 I know a lot of couples say the first year after a baby is the hardest.  there are a lot of adjustments, but he's using the baby as an excuse for his drinking.  things won't get better until he's ready to quit, and with an addict mother who is also an enabler, I doubt that happens anytime soon.

tai1414

Thank you both for your responses. In order to request the supervised visits. do I need proof that they are both addicts? I'm just scared of what could happen if he gets unsupervised visitation and leaves my son with his mother and goes to out... All so very stressful.

 

rpalen29

tai1414:

Thank you both for your responses. In order to request the supervised visits. do I need proof that they are both addicts? I'm just scared of what could happen if he gets unsupervised visitation and leaves my son with his mother and goes to out... All so very stressful.

 

first thing would be definitely starting some legal action against your bf, and to petition for full custody, and supervised visits from your bf. Demand the court that they test the mom, as well as him, and have eye witnesses, besides you, who have seen your boyfriend excessively drunk.  

babymama619

I would also start an informal log of antedotal "evidence". Meaning just get a norebook and write down notes witht the date

ex: 

3/12 drunk -out untl 2am

3/14 yelled ans kick em out said "blah, blah" 

inthelost

francophile619:

I know it's awful, but get out while you can. This situation is clearly headed in a bad direction. He might say he is going to change, but until you actually see hat happen you cannot trust it. I say start getting your things in order to get out of that house no matter how difficult it may be.

THIS. couldn't have said it better myself...

Toshi6

inthelost said:

francophile619:

I know it's awful, but get out while you can. This situation is clearly headed in a bad direction. He might say he is going to change, but until you actually see hat happen you cannot trust it. I say start getting your things in order to get out of that house no matter how difficult it may be.

THIS. couldn't have said it better myself...

Agreed. The longer you wait, the harder it becomes

tai1414

Thank you all of you. I have started legal action and am away from the situation, finally! I have two journals full of entries as you described and hope this is enough... Just want to protect my son.