Talk to me about kids sharing a room.... — The Bump

Talk to me about kids sharing a room....

I've never posted on this board before, but thought some of you might have some insight.  We have a 3.5 yr old girl, a 9 month old girl, and just found out I'm pregnant.  We have 4 bedrooms, but want to keep one as a guest room because we have grandparents visit so often, and don't want that to stop anytime soon.

 We've talked before about the girls sharing a room, but now it will be necessary.  Who's done it?  What works?  My 3 yr old generally goes to bed at ~8 and is up between 6 and 7.  My 9 month old generally goes to bed about 6-7 and wakes up at 6 to eat.  I'm afraid having them in the same room means my 3 yr old will stay awake after that early feeding.  

 The logistics of this confuse me a lot.  Any advice you have would be appreciated.  

Re: Talk to me about kids sharing a room....

  • I have 3 kids:  DS is 5, DD is 2 and my step son (who is with us on weekends) is 11.

    I have a 3 bdrm house, but our 3rd room is on a different floor from the rest of the bedrooms, so I would not let any of the kids sleep there until they were old enough.  So we have done room sharing in a couple of ways.  My SS shared with DS for 3 years, then when DD was born, my step son moved to the down stairs room and now DS and DD share a room (eventually when DS is big enough, he will move downstairs with SS).

    Room sharing can be great and it can totally suck at times.  Getting the kids into a good routines with it is most important.  My kids have really grown to love sharing a room.  The down side is there have been nights when BOTH kids are up and then its hard to get them back to sleep.  But 85% of the time we have been fine.

    When DD was very little, she took a late afternoon nap and then stayed up a bit later at night.  So we would put DS (who was 3) to bed at 8, then once he was asleep we would feed DD and put her to bed after.  I strongly suggest having the kids go to bed at different times or they will just stay awake and party :-) (at least while they are little).  Now, DD (2 years old) goes to bed around 7:30.  Once she falls asleep, my 5 year old does his bed time routine of reading books, etc in MY room, then he goes in to bed quietly around 8:15.  DD is usually knocked out by then.  They both sleep through the night.  DD usually wakes up around 6:30am and I wisk her out of the room quickly before she wakes up DS, who will sometimes sleep until 7am.  My son, luckily is a very heavy sleeper.

    At first, DD's crying at night would wake her older brother, but after a while he got used to the noise and would sleep right through it.  I have read that kids do adjust to the noise of the other sibling and will start to sleep through it and that has been true for us.

    When DD was still waking for night feedings, DS would usually sleep through it.  I always rushed in as soon as I heard her though.

    The one piece of advice that I have would be to set up a pack n play in your bed room or another room if you can in case someone is having a hard night, then you can seperate them

     Good luck!


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  • Are you against having the baby in your room? I would probably keep the other kids in their own rooms as long as possible then after your 9 month old is closer to 2 having a 2 and a 4 year old sleeping in the same room wouldn't be so bad.
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  • My DDs are almost 6 and 18 mos. They have shared a room since the baby was a few months old. At first, the baby's crying would wake up my older child but she quickly got used to it and sleeps through it all. They both love sharing a room! The baby calls for her big sister as soon as she wakes up, and my older DD likes not being alone.

    The baby does wake up to the sound of the doorknob opening, so if her sister is going to bed later, I don't fully latch the door and we say our goodnights elsewhere. Also, there are few toys stored in their room because they're off limits when the baby is napping. It is just the sleeping room, and that works out perfectly!

    To save space in their room, I've removed the dresser and put in a closet system for all of their clothes. It works out great. 

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  • rsd12rsd12 member
    Our first house was a 3 bedroom, and our first two boys slept in their own room till the 2nd was 6 months. We moved them in together at 6mos and 2 and a half years old. It was super easy. They slept though each others wakings.

    Then our third son was born and he coslept for 6 months... then moved into the extra room.

    Last January we switched things up and put the two youngest together, oldest in his own room. It sucked for 2 months. And now... awesome.

    We have since moved and are in another three bedroom. The boys have sleepovers in one of the rooms if we have overnight guests. At their ages now, they love sleepovers and do really well.

    It worked better for us when the kids were younger at starting to share a room. Smoother transition. but you have a few options, and a little time to figure it out!
    Boy 1 2/06 - Boy 2 12/07 - Boy 3 9/09
  • yaleyale member

    We have 4 bedrooms, but want to keep one as a guest room because we have grandparents visit so often, and don't want that to stop anytime soon.

    How often is often? I'd be inclined to room them together only during visits so that everyone can still have their own room.

  • My recommendation is keep the baby with you or in the guest room for awhile and then when #2 is 2 and ready for a toddler bed, make the transition them.  By then the 9 month old's current habits will be vastly different.  That's sacrificing your guest room a few months or so, but then making a girls' room will be a lot better than making it DD#1's room with a baby in it... if that makes sense.

    My girls are 3.5 and 5 and have been sharing for about 1.5 years and they are so close and love it.

    If you really want to be happy, no one can stop you.

  • To answer some questions.... often is really, really often.  Like, once a month for a week.  And when the baby is born I know I'll want family to visit (we have none close by) to help.  I'm not against having the baby in our room, but I want to get the sleeping thing figured out before the baby is born.  Having a baby who is waking up a bunch and then adding to that a room transition that will likely be rough at least for a little bit, sounds bad.  Since they're both sleeping well right now I'd actually like to do it in the next couple months, so they're adjusted.  I'll probably keep a pack and play in the guest room for rough nights, but I want everyone to be settled in their spaces long before the baby arrives.  Both of our kids have slept in the nursery very early on (which is attached to our room and separated only by a door) so I don't think they'll be in our room for long.  I sleep too fitfully when I can hear every grunt the baby makes.

    Thanks for some great tips.  My 3 year old is excited about it and I think will really love it.  She adores her little sister, so I think they could do just fine.   

  • My boys are 2.5 years apart and have shared a room since the youngest was about 4 months old. When he was born we were living in a small 2 bedrooms home so they had to share. But we have recently moved into a 4 bedroom home and they still share because they like being in the same room so much. My oldest cried when I told him he and his brother would have separate rooms. So until they want separate rooms I will let them share. 
  • Seems to me like a big age difference to share a room at this age.  Would it be possible to have the 9 month old and new baby share a room as they will be closer in age?  Or could you have the kids each keep their own room but give them trundle beds or bunk beds so that when the grandparents come to stay, they could still be at the house, just in one of the girls rooms but the girls would still have a place to sleep?

    I think it will also depend on your kids if any of this will work.  My 2 can not share a room (21 months apart) as my younger DD hears everything.  My sister has 3 girls and they all share a room by choice.  It started with the older 2 sharing when the little one was still an infant and then she wanted to join them and they turned the extra room into a big closet/play room and now that they are older, more of a study for the girls.

    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
  • My son's share a room, we kept DS2 unitl he was about 4 month and then moved them in together.  DS1 is 4 and ds2 is 6 months.  DS1 naps in my room if he naps.  It has worked out pretty well they rarely wake each other up.  I usually feed and put DS2 down and DH gets DS1 ready for bed and he does his story and prayers in the living room then goes quietly to bed.  If I'm on my own I get them both ready for bed together and then let ds1 watch a show while I nurse ds2 and put him down.  Then I read to ds1 and then he goes to bed.


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