MIL advice - Party meddler?

indiana_muse

Hi,

I have a 3 year old daughter...its really her first year of understanding what a bday is. We are having a party at a park and also having a dinner just our immediate family. 

 My mother in law also wants to do a bday dinner for my daughter and it just bothers me. She does bday dinner for her kids aka my husband even now that he is going to be 36. I just feel that at some point I need to have my own family, my own birthday dinners and that this is just crossing the line a bit. I know it comes from a good place but let me have my own dinner for my own daughters bday. 

 The question is am I unreasonable? Out of line or do you feel this way too with your mother in law being supreme mother over your family too? Sell me straight here b/c my husband must think I am nuts! 

karen_loy

As long as she doesn't want you to cancel YOUR bday dinner to substitute it with hers, I don't see what the problem is; I mean it's just an extra celebration for your DD and another chance to get together and eat cake.

Maybe it would bother me a little if she wanted to do it on the actual bday day, if it's another day then great!

alizabethanne

I understand how you feel. You just want to be the one to throw your kids a party without another family member having to as well. Thats how I feel about holidays. No one ever lets me hold one at my house cause I get the feeling they feel like I can't handle it, so we end up doing 3 of everything. Its so annoying, but at some point I am not going to be carting my kid around everywhere and we will just celebrate at home.

notkateanymore

It's her grandchild. Of course she wants to do something for her birthday. You're being unreasonable. It sounds like a family tradition. If you just can't handle sharing your daughter on her birthday, ask her to do it another night close to it.

northtamarack

I think it is NBD, only if this is in addition to the party that you are hosting.  Yeah, sure it might be yet another dinner in addition to an already busy schedule, but food and family are good, positive things.

EastCoastBride

karen_loy:

As long as she doesn't want you to cancel YOUR bday dinner to substitute it with hers, I don't see what the problem is; I mean it's just an extra celebration for your DD and another chance to get together and eat cake.

Maybe it would bother me a little if she wanted to do it on the actual bday day, if it's another day then great!

This is where I fall.  The more people to love and celebrate your child?  There is NOTHING wrong w/ that! 

bumpuser260585

As long as you can still do everything you have planned, then just think of it as a night that you don't have to cook.  I understand the frustration, because my MIL does the same thing, but just shrug it off and let your DD enjoy the dinner.

blu-eyedwife

I WISH my inlaws still did something special to acknowledge/celebrate my DH's birthday even though I throw him a party!  My family always does a family dinner for birthdays, in addition to whatever birthday plans there are.  I don't think there's anything wrong with getting as much celebration in as possible.

mamayo26

I get where you are coming from, but I think as other previous post said she isn't trying to step on your toes, she just wants to do something for DD.

Is DD her only grandchild (or only one close by?). Have you asked DH if his grandma had birthday dinners for him when he was young--If your hubby is having issues "he thinks you are nuts" put it into perspective for him this way. Would his mom have been mad if his grandma wanted to throw him a birthday dinner when he was young?

In the end as other PP, if it doesn't interfere with your plans or overshadow what you are doing for DD, it is fine.  

 

 

dragon_chica

Ditto everyone else.  If it's not on the day you want to do yours than this isn't really the hill to die on.