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Special Needs
Rink08
member
Where do I go from here?
Rink08
member
The last few weeks have been tough for us. To give a quick sum up:
DS1, who has CAPD and ADHD diagnosis' along with speech issues for fluency and articulation and also recieves feeding and occupational therapies, has started getting violent when he is upset. We are used to his tantrums which include being defiant and possibly making a mess in his room but in the past few weeks it had progressed to him saying things which are not appropriate such as using words like "stupid, idiot, jerk" and threatening violence or destruction "If you put that note in my book bag, I'll rip it up and throw it away. If you send an email to my teacher, I'm going to pour water on the computer. If you tell my teacher, I'll cut off your lips." When he gets like this, it's like he's a completely different person. He won't look at us and he needs to be held, DH holds him in a tight hug, to stop him from hitting, kicking, or giving us rub burns out of anger. Last night this lasted almost 30 minutes before we were able to calm him down and when he finally calmed down, he was crying and then perfectly fine as if nothing had happened. What set him off was that he had purposely done his homework incorrectly and I needed to send a note to his teacher to explain that and also that he has an upcoming appointment. The note is not something new but was the first time that it caused this response.
DH is great with him in the moment and afterwards we were able to calm him down, eat dinner as a family, and do our bedtime routine without incident. After all of the kids were in bed, DH decided to go for a motorcycle ride and before going he told me that nights like that make him not want to come back. He did come back and apologized and said that he was emotional but I worry that it's on his mind now.
DS1, who has CAPD and ADHD diagnosis' along with speech issues for fluency and articulation and also recieves feeding and occupational therapies, has started getting violent when he is upset. We are used to his tantrums which include being defiant and possibly making a mess in his room but in the past few weeks it had progressed to him saying things which are not appropriate such as using words like "stupid, idiot, jerk" and threatening violence or destruction "If you put that note in my book bag, I'll rip it up and throw it away. If you send an email to my teacher, I'm going to pour water on the computer. If you tell my teacher, I'll cut off your lips." When he gets like this, it's like he's a completely different person. He won't look at us and he needs to be held, DH holds him in a tight hug, to stop him from hitting, kicking, or giving us rub burns out of anger. Last night this lasted almost 30 minutes before we were able to calm him down and when he finally calmed down, he was crying and then perfectly fine as if nothing had happened. What set him off was that he had purposely done his homework incorrectly and I needed to send a note to his teacher to explain that and also that he has an upcoming appointment. The note is not something new but was the first time that it caused this response.
DH is great with him in the moment and afterwards we were able to calm him down, eat dinner as a family, and do our bedtime routine without incident. After all of the kids were in bed, DH decided to go for a motorcycle ride and before going he told me that nights like that make him not want to come back. He did come back and apologized and said that he was emotional but I worry that it's on his mind now.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Where do I go from here?
I'm sure that you are right regarding DH. He had just come home from working 13 hours at a stressful job and was venting..
For DS1, that all makes sense. The noted have been a fairly recent, about 3 weeks, thing
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Luckily, tonight went smoothly. No homework issues and no meltdowns of any sort.
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