I really don't know what to do.

LaLovely

Hi all! My DH and i have been married for 3 years, he is 34 and i am 31. We have had quite a few problems and are currently in marriage counseling to get things back on track. Here is my issue. I am ready to have a baby. I am not totally sure we will make it as a couple ( i really pray we do) but i want a child. We have never used protection and i haven't gotten pregnant this entire time. I also have 2 cousins that have had issues conceiving (one of which has been trying 8 years). I am currently working with my doctor to see what has to be done and he is saying i will need fetility drugs in order to conceive. Is it wrong to not want to wait? Even if i'm not sure if my marriage will work out? I don't want to miss the opportunity to have a child. I already have issues getting pregnant and who knows how long it will take. Does this make any sense? Any help is appreciated. Thanks

gogadgetgo

Until you're ready to be in your marriage, you're not ready to introduce a baby. Wait.

LaLovely

He really wants one now, if it were up to him we would have 2 already but i kept putting it off because i felt we needed to deal with us first. I think i'm just freaking out because i see the situation with my cousin and she started in her early 20's and

Kristinmo

Fix your marriage first.  Being a parent in a good marriage is hard work. 

But- if you choose to ignore that advice, I have questions about the fertility treatments.

 -What doctor are you working with? I would only do treat

greengirl0909

I can see both sides of this situation.  The traditional side of me says that a baby does best in a 2 parent home, and I believe in the committment of marriage before having a baby.

Having said that, I was late to get married and on my 30th

ASmallWonder

Like most of the others said, wait.  That is, if you hope to fix your relationship.  I have zero issues with single parents so my advice doesn't come from a place of thinking you need to have a two parent household.  It comes from my assump

LaLovely

That is correct. I'm not wanting one to fix our marriage, i want to be a mother. And i as well have considered being a single mother, if it doesn't work out. Glad i'm not the only one who has felt that way.

ASmallWonder

LaLovely:

That is correct. I'm not wanting one to fix our marriage, i want to be a mother. And i as well have considered being

LaLovely

Thank you all so much for the advice! It really helped, and hopefully this conversation i am about to have with DH will go well...... Thanks again!

Venus201

Everyone has such good advice. I might add to try and look through your baby's eyes. How would he/she feel knowing you conceived him/her knowing they may grow up in a broken home? I would definitely wait and see if you can repair your marriage first. I

magdalina.h

I wouldn't try for a baby with a rocky marriage.

I don't understand why your dr is saying you will need fertility drugs unless you've had testing done.

DebateThis

1. Agree with everyone else. Do not TTC with a rocky/falling apart marriage. It seems like you're going to proceed with a plan to have a child with or without your spouse in the picture and makes you seem like a very selfish individual.

2. Your c

mamathefox

elmoali:

Like most of the others said, wait.  That is, if you hope to fix your relationship.  I have zero issues wit

sweetpea2003

LaLovely:

That is correct. I'm not wanting one to fix our marriage, i want to be a mother. And i as well have considered being

FemShep

Speaking as a divorcee with a child from my prior marriage, I think you need some tough love, OP.

Bringing a child into a troubled marriage is a terrible idea. Pregnancy and parenting bring tremendous stress and strain. And if things don't work o

JNCPro3130

FemShep:

Bringing a child into a troubled marriage is a terrible idea. Pregnancy and parenting b

kittybits21

FemShep:

When you have a child with someone, you're bound together for the rest of your lives-longer, and in a more serious wa

SmileyJay

Does your husband want a child? You didn't say. 

If you are already having issues then I would bet that less sleep and less money would not help things much.

Having a child and having a marriage are two to