Adoptive moms out there...

edaire

People really amaze me! We were matched with a birth mom last week that is due in October, and the questions people are asking me are ridiculous:

1. How much did your baby cost?

2. Are you just adopting because you don't want to go through the pain of pregnancy and labor?

3. Are you going to have any "children of your own?"

4. What happens if the birth mom changes her mind?

5. Will you tell him/her they are adopted?

6. Can the birth mom take her baby back?

7. And my favorite...are you adopting because you are infertile? 

These questions are coming from people that I hardly know! People are so under educated about adoption, and I'm looking for advice on how to answer these questions politely without giving too much of our personal business away. Have you been asked any of these questions?

irismorning

The one that I am asked the most (even by sensitive friends who were supportive of the adoption) is "are you going to have any "children of your own?". I always answer, "these children ARE my own." You will typically get the response "Well you know wha

kekis

Whenever I've gotten a question that I deem inappropriate or just flat-out stupid, I respond by either asking them the question in return or simply saying, "Excuse me?" coupled with a GTH look.  And that's just me being nice . . . . . .

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Dr.Loretta

edaire:

People really amaze me! We were matched with a birth mom last week that is due in October, and the questions people ar

sgb721

Check out the book 'In On It'. It's for like family/friends of those who are adopting but I found it really helpful as an explanation behind their unintentional ignorance and how to respond in an educational way.

joyebell

People do make some really dumb, insensitive comments when it comes to adoption. As an adoptee my list is ever growing. I have heard many , some are triggers for me, some just make no sense

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mommytoconnor

I hate these stupid questions.  I adopted from foster care so I also get the comments of how "messed up" those kids are who are in the system.  You are going to be given a child that "no one else wants".  I get so steemed about this stuff.&

orange1414

joyebell, I'm sorry you're hurting so much. I'm an adoptee who is now adopting. I just wanted to post and say that while the questions, both as an adoptee and a

Art Teacher

I've heard lots of inappropriate/rude comments and questions over the past few years. 

1. How much did your baby cost?  I always say something along the lines of "the average domestic adoption costs around 25K."  Sometimes I'll

Dr.Loretta

orange1414:

joyebell, I'm sorry

edaire

Joyebell, I am so sorry about the way you were treated and the way you feel. Nobody deserves to feel that way. I ask for advice because I need outside opinions. I am a social worker for child protective services, and I answer these questions so much in

MayDayGirl

Dr.Loretta:

orange1414:

silliestbunny

The questions can be crazy.

Wise women here have helped me craft my best/common response when the question is inapproprite:  "Wow, that's an interesting question.  I am curious... why are you asking?"  That normally makes people ba

erinmc1

People are so out of line. Everyone wants to throw in their .02 on how you should make your family, when they probably never had to think past "don't use birth control."

When people ask intrusive personal questions, I give them insanely pe