Guilty about going out

silvie25mar · April 2013

I just went back to work, dd is 12 mos and I have not gone out since she was born. Well I have, but only for a few hours and was always home for bed/bath time as I always felt I had to be there and be in charge. A lot of relationships have suffered because of it. I was also bf too. Dh went out here and there.
Now that I'm back at work, dd doesn't bf anymore and I was invited to go out on Friday with colleagues new ones since I started a new job.
When the invite came out my mind automatically went to say no sorry I can't. But then I thought why can't I ???? DH is perfectly able to bathe and put dd to sleep and he would have no problems with it. But I keep feeling guilty or finding reasons that I shouldn't go. Like oh ill have to shower and get ready lol or, what if dd wakes up she's been consistently sttn or even but DH will be alone at home. Or even , it's all the way downtown.

All these reasons I find stupid esp since DH has gone out before. I just can't seem to let go and shake the whole it will be fine and I should be able to go out and enjoy.

EastCoastBride · April 2013

Just start doing it. The more you do it, the more you'll get used to it, and hopefully the less guilty you'll feel.

You can't lose "you" in parenthood. Being a good parent is also about taking care of YOURSELF. If going out w/ f

AnabelsMama · April 2013

silvie25:
I just went back to work, dd is 12 mos and I have not gone out since she was born. Well I have, but only for a few h

Iblamethebeer · April 2013

If DD does wake up, her father will be there. It will probably be a good experience for both of them.

The fact that this is with new colleagues I think makes it even more of a no-brainer. I would think for political reasons you real

ksyknelvr73 · April 2013

You should go, and enjoy it! I know that it's hard...I struggled with that as well for the first year with DS and I felt like I had to be there for stuff like what you mentioned (bed time, bath time, etc). Over the last year I have started doing more thin

SunAndRain · April 2013

Giving your DH time alone with LO will strnegthen their bond.

Taking time for yourself will improve your state of mental health which will make you a better mom, wife, employee, friend, etc.

You recognize that your need to be in cotr

bearfootz · April 2013

It's normal to feel guilty but what I was told was that a happy mommy makes for a happy baby. And this mommy needs a night out once in a while!

It sounds like your DH should be able to handle everything. If nothing else - he calls i

nosoup4u · April 2013

Do not feel guilty! Going out by yourself has its benefits, no question. She will be fine with DH!

thedash · April 2013

I have always been a homebody and since having DS it's even harder to motivate myself to go out. I use excuses like the ones you're mentioning all the time! But when I do go out I almost never regret it. DH is awesome and knows my reclusive tendencies so

sadie+w · April 2013

You should definitely go! I have friends that refuse to go out and honestly it is not healthy!

rachboston60 · April 2013

I totally agree with whoever said its like ripping off a bandaid - once you do it, so much easier the next time! I feel for you - it wasn't until my daughter turned 1 that I was super comfortable being out and about and actually enjoying

laurakaz13 · April 2013

I've been going out since DD was 3 weeks old. DH and I have had weekly date nights, vacations and weekends away alone, business trips away, etc. No guilt here.

You are allowed to have a life and take care of yourself outside of

dragon_chica · April 2013

Do it for all the reasons everyone stated. If you don't hand over some of the responsibilities and trust that DH will be fine then you WILL eventually resent him. The first few times will be tough. You'll constantly think about DH and LO

kristennd · April 2013

I've started to think that it isn't entirely mom guilt. For many, it's also a social awkwardness. You get out of practice without going out and interacting with adults and worry about not having interesting things to say or accidentally talking "too much"