Found disturbing notes by 6 year old

marissa422

Before i explain what i found, ill give some backround info incase its at all relevant. DD is 6 years old, shes extremely smart, sweet and so loved by all the teachers in her school. Never has gotten in any trouble at school is not violent aside from average temper tantrums.

While cleaning out DDs room, I found a paper with with writing on it. It said "I hope you die for good" "I will kill you" I don't even know what to think, especially because i dont know where or how she would even know what that means! unless heard at school pf course..I asked her about it. She admitted to writing it and said she didn't mean it and it wasn't to anyone she just wrote it. I of course explained why it is not acceptable even if you don't mean it. I'm feel as though as long as I don't see it anymore I should let it go but if I do, I would then seek counseling. I'm still distraught..got anything for me?

neverblushed

I think there are a couple of things that would explain a 6 y/o writing something like this:

1) Imagination and fantasy -- which are powerful forces for kids this age.  Kids do have angry and aggressive feelings, and they often use play and fantasy to explore these feelings.  If she wrote this stuff as a part of an imaginary or play scenario, or even as a "play" way of dealing with frustrated feelings about a real situation, that would be pretty normal for a 6 y/o.  So, given that possibility, I would not get too worried about her based just on this one incident.

2) Deep seated psychological issues -- which are rare.  In this case, you're likely to see other things that just aren't "right" with you, if you keep your eyes and ears open.

So, I would not be overly worried, but I would keep an eye on her.  I would also be cautious about making her feel like she's done something really "wrong" or "bad" because you want her to communicate with you, and you want her to share her feelings with you. 

ilovemygirls

I would go talk to the school counselor- just you, not her.  Maybe discussing your DD's 'normal' as you describe, and talking about them in context with that will help.  I have utilized our school counselor a couple of times when I was concerned about something with my kids, and found that he was a great resource as to what is typical for their ages.  In my mind, even if it's imagination/fantasy there could be something going on & the counselor could probably give you some things to look for or do.  Good luck- that would be really upsetting to find.

ETA: If the counselor thinks that your DD talking to him/her would be a good idea based on your meeting, I would totally have her do that.

Littlejen22

ilovemygirls:

I would go talk to the school counselor just you, not her.nbsp; Maybe discussing your DD's 'normal' as you describe, and talking about them in context with that will help.nbsp; I have utilized our school counselor a couple of times when I was concerned about something with my kids, and found that he was a great resource as to what is typical for their ages.nbsp; In my mind, even if it's imagination/fantasy there could be something going on amp; the counselor could probably give you some things to look for or do.nbsp; Good luck that would be really upsetting to find.ETA: If the counselor thinks that your DD talking to him/her would be a good idea based on your meeting, I would totally have her do that.

With the way things are in schools right now I would not talk to the school about it or your child will be on a watch list. If you feel the need to talk to someone I would pay for it n

tealowl

I wouldn't worry about it. Remember, kids aren't able to express emotions with most adult vocabulary, especially at 6.

MesmrEwe

Littlejen22:

With the way things are in schools right now I would not talk to the school about it or your child will be on a watch list. If you feel the need to talk to someone I would pay for it n

I wholeheartedly agree with this because then the true confidentiality bounds are kept. 

I think you handled it properly.  Keep an eye and if there are any further situations, then address things.  There's a major boundary test phase between 6-8, then a short lull before the next round.  And always reinforce the good stuff above and beyond.  But then when tough subjects come up, talk about how we respond to certain situations instead of just assuming that she'll know. 

PrideandJoy29

I wouldn't do counseling just yet.