FIL involved in writing our wills

LivingItUpInUP

Hi ladies,

 

I haven't posted on the bump since DD was born.  This isn't exactly parenting related, but I need some advice and this was the only place I could think to post.

My in laws are over-involved and can be controlling with my husband.  We have a 5 month old baby and that?s brought a whole new set of issues, but my husband and I generally get through things together.  I have an issue that I?m not sure how to handle now.  

My husband and I talked about how we wanted to draw up a will after our daughter?s birth while I was pregnant.  He said that his dad had recently sent him some information about setting up a will with his lawyer (his dad?s).  I had my reservations because I didn?t think it was appropriate for his dad to be involved with our will.  MH assured me that his dad just wanted us to get things settled because he was worried about this kind of thing now because he had a friend who passed away unexpectedly recently.  

My husband and I have been really bad about getting this will put together and still haven?t done it, but are planning to sit down and do it soon.  The other day my husband was reading emails on his computer and over his shoulder I saw an email titled ?wills? from his dad.  I didn?t ask him about it, but I was curious.  Curiousity got the best of me this morning and I went into his email and read it.  Basically his dad is laying out how he thinks the will should be set up and is requesting a copy when it is finalized.  He also stated that MH?s shares of their family partnership should go into a trust for my daughter which will be held in their name until she?s 35. I think this is incredibly inappropriate, obviously.  I don?t think it?s their place to tell us how to set up our will, and I don?t want them being able to control my child with money if my husband unexpectly passes away.  However, I don?t know if I should bring it up, because the way I found out about it was through snooping, which I know was wrong and feel guilty about.  However, I?ve caught MH snooping through things of mine in the past, and I?ve never gotten upset about it.  Thoughts?

 

Disneygeek77

I don't know. I personally wouldn't feel bad about snooping. A will involves both of you and not just him so I think you had every right to read an email that involves you too. Let your husband know how upset you are about this. Tell him you do no

littlemermaid

I don't see anything wrong with your FIL giving suggestions, you aren't required to act on them.  In the end you and your husband will have to agree on the terms of the wills/Trusts since you will be the 2 people sitting down with the lawyer to fi

LivingItUpInUP

littlemermaid:

I don't see anything wrong with your FIL giving suggestions, you aren't required to act on them.  In the e

mben1119

I think you need to talk to him about this. It is way outside the realm of normalcy for an IL to be dictating how a will is drawn up.

jorkz821

Mom2Oli:

mabenner1:</stron

mben1119

Mom2Oli:

mabenner1:

1026pumpkin

I think you can leave snooping and FIL's "suggestions" out of it, and just tell DH you've been doing some more thinking about wills, and would like to find your own lawyer and finish up the paperwork.  You can tell him you feel uncomfortable using

seahorse102410

As much as I hate in-law involvement this sounds totally normal. 

LivingItUpInUP

HilarityEnsued:

I'm still confused about some of the logistics here.  So is this "family partnership" a trust fund that i

LivingItUpInUP

IrishCoffee7:

Why is your H communicating with his dad about this issue without involving you?  WHy didn't you just bring

Assembly_Reqd

perhaps there are some tax consequences with the shares of the business being inherited outright that you are not aware of. maybe fil is just trying to protect his grandchildren and you from having to fork over a huge inheritance tax.....

you may

LaurelBee

I have a very over bearing Fil too. I get it. Talk to your Dh, tell him how uncomfortable his involvement makes you. I would own up to snooping bc hiding that fact won't help matters and it will probably come to light eventually.  Select your own

SimpleJane

1026pumpkin:

I think you can leave snooping and FIL's "suggestions" out of it, and just tell DH you've been doing some more thinkin

clo1982

Mom2Oli:

Maybe her husband has had a discussion with his dad, maybe he asked for his help. She hasn't yet talked to him so she