My children aren't my everything

BabyCarryingVessel

Mbm's post about putting marriage first got me thinking about an ariticle I read before the girls were born. It might be a little controversial so I wanted to get O12's thoughts.

The title caught my attention "Why my kids aren't my everything"... I thought it sounded harsh, but it's really stuck with me. The main point the author made is that, yes, your children are the biggest, most important thing in your life, but they shouldn't be your "everything". In your life, you probably have a spouse, hobbies, family members, pets, etc. These things combined with your children are your "everything". They shouldn't be put aside for 18 years as you raise your children.

Now that I have two girls, I must agree with the article! I really don't want to put DH and all my wonderful family, hobbies, etc. on the back burner. I want to show my girls that I love to play piano, make soap, garden, and preserve food. Hopefully when they're grown, they'll have lots of wonderful people and hobbies in their lives, and I won't be their "everything" (as much as I want to be!) 

So what do you all say? Harsh? Healthy? I just looked for the article and I couldn't find it. It was on the yahoo news feed probably a year ago. I'm not sure if that's the exact title, but it was something similar.

numberonemama

I agree with what you are saying but I don't like the phrasing I guess.  I would do anything humanly possibly for my family even if that means sacrificing something I enjoy (if needed...such as working, in illness, ect.)  but in general, in a pe

Petunia844

I think the meaning of it makes perfect sense and I think it's totally healthy... I take time for myself and it makes me a better mommy.

That being said, I totally understand the saying "they are my everything." &nbs

BabyCarryingVessel

Petunia844:

I think the meaning of it makes perfect sense and I think it's totally healthy... I take time for myself and it ma

NapJunkie

I remember years ago a friend was going through a divorce and said that when she had her two children she went into "mom" mode and forgot to be a wife in the process. That always stuck with me and has shaped how I am now. I love my daughter to pieces and

Petunia844

wonknessmonster:

Petun

BabyCarryingVessel

Wonk, I'll be checking out Tree of Life! Never thought about our children as being a "loan" to us, but it's so true (and sad to think about).

wesleycrusher

numberonemama:

I agree with what you are saying but I don't like the phrasing I guess.  I would do anything humanly possi

AFanch1127

Healthy.  I'll be honest; I'm not really sure what I like anymore.  When I had DD1, I quit a lot of things--hobbies, friendships, etc. to spend 100% of free time with her.  It wasn't really intentional, but more like a subtle "shift" ove

BabyCarryingVessel

AFanch1127:

Healthy.  I'll be honest; I'm not really sure what I like anymore.  When I had DD1, I quit a lot of thin

AFanch1127

BabyCarryingVessel:

AF

AFanch1127

BabyCarryingVessel:

AF

lady dixneuf

life is way too short to just be a mom.

and I have lots of things I want to do in life, being a mom is just one of them.

Plus making your kids your everything is a good way to make them resent the sh*t out of you when they're older.

<p

Mrs_Lady

I think its healthy.... Sadly newborns/babies require a lot so friends and others need to be supportive of your new role  

Mrs.RockyM

Not sure if I like how it's phrased, but I get what they're saying.  I like to think that my children are my everything, but there's more to me than just my children. I'm still balancing things and have to admit I need to put more attention into D