Totally OT ranty nonsense

Into+the+Kitty

All this fertility/charting stuff got me thinking. I've said it before on here, but never in great detail. J's parents are cut off from us. Even when we were in contact with them we kept our pregnancy from them until after 13 weeks because they are terrible, narcissistic people who make everything about them. Seriously, even after we announced it to them, they made it all about how we were making them grandparents for the whateverth time. Minutes after telling them they sent me a video of MIL talking about how God told her that she was going to have another grandbaby soon, but she had NO IDEA it would be me (Yeah, ok, so is it going to be the unmarried kid who isn't even in a relationship, the one where the woman's got her tubes tied, or the couple who is pretty set on being done with kids, then? Oh wait, that's right, it was just a jab at me because you called my husband less than a month before our wedding to tell him that I was going to be a terrible wife and daughter in law, so of course I would be a terrible mother, too).

I don't want them hearing about another pregnancy at all because they will try to contact us, and I don't want to deal with their guilting or drama. Realistically, I know that they will find out eventually, but I kind of don't want to tell anyone in J's extended family until around 20 weeks because I know that they will tell his parents. (This wouldn't be a stretch. We didn't tell his parents and siblings until 13 weeks, and no one else knew until after 20.)

Then I got really paranoid because one of J's sisters and a SIL (who cut us off for cutting off his parents -- also the same woman who when we announced our pregnancy asked "Were you trying or was it a mistake?" Wtf, because that's a normal response instead of "Congratulations.") both seem like the kind of people who would have bump accounts, and I was like, "OMG what if I got pregnant and put a ticker up then one of them found me and figured out it was me?" I think that pretty much anyone who knew me IRL would be able to easily figure out who I was on here. I had like, visions of the phone calls, letters, text messages, and other general bull from his parents flashing before my eyes. Or, god forbid, they make a trip up to try to force their way into our home.

Then I got really annoyed, because his parents tried their best to ruin my pregnancy experience, and totally succeeded at ruining my post partum experience, which was what really broke the camel's back. And now, even without them in our life, they are still able to get me to rearrange my life around them to manage their drama. I am not even pregnant yet and am letting them ruin my next pregnancy. Wtf.

Ok, then I took a deep breath and was like, "ITK, it's not even something you need to worry about right now, so don't." I have so many other reasons for not wanting to get pregnant right away, but when I think about this stuff it seriously makes me just not want to get pregnant ever again. I don't really have anyone IRL who I can talk to about this, and I just kind of needed to get it out there. I know that it's all over the place, so sorry if you read it all.

MrsPteranodon

Hugs. That sounds very stressful.

stoneycakes

I have faced a somewhat similar situation.  Feel free to PM me if you want the gory details. 

ETA: ^^^ Sorry, I sound like a narcissist, too. Also, I'm sorry you feel so stressed by this and I understand.

candlequeen

oh ITK, I am so sorry they are asshats! I really wish some of you on this board were my IRL friends...lol. With both of my pregnancies I have dreaded telling the inlaws b/c they always ask if we can afford a child. I told MIL at 8 weeks this time and she

sarenu1

I'm very sorry you've experienced this.  I'm fortunate to have a pretty supportive family on both my side and my husband's side.

But I did have one of my sisters ask me if my first pregnancy was planned.  At the time my husband was un

zaraceligon

I'm sorry you have to go through all this,but don't let them bother you,let them talk all the crab they want,don't put your self at the same level of them,why waste your energy thinking about selfish people like them,you should always remember that mos

Into+the+Kitty

stoneycakes:

I have faced a somewhat similar situation.  Feel free to PM me if you want the gory details. 

ET

Into+the+Kitty

candlequeen:

oh ITK, I am so sorry they are asshats! I really wish some of you on this board were my IRL friends...lol. With b

Into+the+Kitty

Thanks for the support and hugs. I feel a little bit better after getting it all off my chest and de stressing a bit.

Sending hugs to all of you who have difficult extended families, too! 

Into+the+Kitty

Chickypoo2468:

Big huge hugs from me!! While I can't relate to your exact issue, I can relate to having anxiety about things t

stoneycakes

Into+the+Kitty:

stoney

TJ1979

I'm sorry you have to deal with this kind of stress ITK. MH's family is looney too, beyond dysfunctional. Funny how great men can come from such effed up families.
I'm glad you feel better getting it off your chest.
And high five for the vin

Into+the+Kitty

TJ1979:

I'm sorry you have to deal with this kind of stress ITK. MH's family is looney too, beyond dysfunctional. Funny how gr

Into+the+Kitty

TJ1979:

I'm sorry you have to deal with this kind of stress ITK. MH's family is looney too, beyond dysfunctional. Funny how gr

TJ1979

Into+the+Kitty:

TJ1979:

Into+the+Kitty

Chickypoo2468:

TJ1979: