XP: WWYD re: childcare with ILs and smoking

atcwag

Thinking ahead.... 

So, DH and I are beginning to think about what we're going to do for childcare after I go back to work after 12 weeks.

Thankfully, we are only going to need childcare 4x/week for about 3 hours/day. DH works 7-3, I work *normally* 1-9ish. Wednesdays I don't go into work until 3, so I can probably take baby to work for 30 min. before DH can pick up. So, we need childcare from about 12:30-3:30 M, T, R, F. We also need someone who is slightly flexible as I sometimes have an early meeting or other commitment.

MIL may be able to tweak her work schedule to do childcare for us. I would assume (based on previous conversation) that she would be offering this without cost.

The problem is that FIL is a smoker. I am REALLY uncomfortable being around smokers and I don't want that around my baby either. It will be winter when I go back to work, so FIL will be smoking in the house with little to no ventilation. I'm not sure how comfortable I would be with him even smoking in another room as the whole house is very "heavy" due to years and years of smoking.

Another option would be to ask MIL if she would be willing to come to our home to watch baby. It's about a 15 min. drive from our home to theirs. I assume, she would bring FIL (he does not work due to health issues), which poses another problem as he smells quite heavily of smoke, so holding the baby for prolonged periods of time also makes me weary.

My #1 concern is the health and wellbeing of my baby, so my brain is telling me that maybe this childcare option isn't the best, however I do like the idea of baby being with family and not with a caregiver I don't know. I also can't keep baby away from my ILs, as they obviously want to be around and always reak of smoke.

So, what would you do?

If your answer is to go with another caregiver, how would you go about finding someone for such a small window of time per day? If I chose a daycare in the area, I would have to pay for at least part-time, not hourly, which would be a higher expense than the hours I would actually use.

IBackBevo

Personally, I would either go with a part-time nanny (try care dot com) or part-time daycare.  I would not want my baby exposed to 2nd or even 3rd hand smoke on a regular basis.  Occasional visits are one thing (and you can always ask him to put

laurakaz13

I would NEVER do this.  It amazes me that people actually smoke in their houses.  I would also never want family watching my child on a regular basis, or I would at the very least pay them to do it. 

I think you should find a part

ljanette85

The smoking would be a TOTAL deal breaker for me. Way to dangerous for baby!

You will probably have to find a nanny/baby sitter. You could also try a sahm who would like to watch a child at home, they may be more flexible.

Good luck! d

XCrissCrossX

My mom's a smoker. For the first year of LO's life, she changed her shirt to hold him and then changed back into her regular shirt when she smoked. FIL would not be holding my baby at any time without clean clothes.

For health reasons, does MIL

Strunella

I think that a college student might be your best bet, as pp suggested. They usually have flexible schedules and would open to that type of arrangement. If your MIL will come to your house without FIL, then that might be an option, but she needs to lea

Margaret Lemon

I'm also in the "NO WAY" camp. PPs gave you lots of good tips on how to find a sitter. 

I realize its nerve racking to use someone you don't know, but start looking and I bet you will find some people you really like.  

EastCoastBride

THis is something I woudln't dance around.  If MIL out and out offers to watch your LO, I would tell her "That's great... blah blha blah.  It will need to be at our house.  And if FIL comes w/ you, he needs to be in clean clothes and can

mrsseguin

Being a smoker myself...I would not send LO to a house where people are smoking inside.  I would make other arrangements.

boogerbearoriginal

EastCoastBride:

THis is something I woudln't dance around.  If MIL out and out offers to watch your LO, I would te

TheyCalledHerKate

Third hand smoke is awful, especially for babies and especially when years of it are on the furniture, walls and carpet. Having my child in a home where someone smokes inside is not even an option for me. I would find other arrangements, even if it cost m

jf198400

It does not sound like a good situation.  I wouldn't want my child around smokers, especially not everyday.  The hours you are looking for care actually sound like it would be very easy to find a PT nanny.  I would try care.com.  You m

RoxyLynn

Just supporting what everyone else has said... smoke is just as much of a health/safety issue as a carseat.  We, too, have to meet my parents in public places when we fly up to visit, because the smoke smell in their house is unbearable.

B

WhitWed

Going to have to agree with the majority of posts in that you should get part-time nanny help and pay hourly. I have two couples I know that do this and were able to interview off of applications on Care.com.

My MIL smokes and I won't let DD v

MommyKayla11

I would find someone else.