Attachment Parenting

Passing the Torch

I am a lurker who needs some help. I EBF and DD medically is unable to take a bottle at this point due to tongue and swallow issues. She is really attached to me and up until now DH has not bonded with her at all. She basically screams if he has her for more than two minutes. Hee has been doing some of her baths to try and get her comfortable but it has not trickled over yet. I know I should just leave them together for a hour or two at a time to get used to it but it makes me sick knowing that she will be scared screaming the whole time wanting me. I feel like it us traumatizing her but I want then to bond and don't know what to do. He will never enjoy her if she does not learn to trust him. I know most of you really strengthen that mommy baby bond and wondered how you helped your LOT get used to other people. Thanks.
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Re: Passing the Torch

  • How old is she? I'm guessing around 10-12 weeks by your siggy?

    What else has DH tried? Has he tried bathing with her instead of just bathing her in her tub? Wearing her and going for a walk? Bouncing on a yoga ball? I don't think the sink-or-swim

  • PP had great suggestions! I think the big bath together is a really good idea. Also, have him wear her and go for family walks once a day for a while. If she struggles initially, he can put a shirt of yours near her face, then wean off of that. 

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  • First of all, feeding is most definitely not the only way to bond!!  I second the suggestion at having him try wearing her, rocking her, dancing, listening to music, going for a walk, etc.  Basically just getting some close snuggles.  He

  • At about 4 weeks, DH left on a business trip for a few days, and when he got back, DD acted like she'd never seen him before. It took a good two months for her to be okay with him. It could just be a phase, hopefully a short one! DD still prefers me, b

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  • Does he do things other than baths? I know for my Dd, baths were a huge trauma from birth to about 4 months. 

    My Dd was similar, so when I had to go back to work H and I did a lot of things with K. First he would start by just sitting near m

  • You could also try nursing her in a side lying position while she is wearing only a diaper and have your husband lay against her back with his shirt off so that they are getting skin to skin contact and she is associating both your and his scent w

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  • Great ideas so far. I would just set him up for success, if there's something LO likes, get him to do that. My LO likes baths, hates getting out. So she splashed in the tub with him and had a ball, then I took her out to dry and dress her. I give her t

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  • Ditto PPs, have him do the things she likes. At that age my LO hated baths, so having H do that wouldn't have made anyone happy.  Make sure LO is rested, with a full belly and dry bottom before handing her over.  Wearing her could be great, o

  • Daddy did tummy time with LO and also did all of her naps when he could. He would lay with her on his chest when she was tiny and later would cosleep with her in our bed with her in the crook of his arm when she got bigger. Naps are still their "thing" to
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  • All great suggestions here. I also EBF. Some things my DH does with DS is change diapers (lots of eye contact and communication happens there), dresses baby, rocks him to sleep, hands baby to me to nurse, burps baby, tummy time and other floor play, an

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  • DH did what he could (much of what's been suggested) but DD was easily 4-6 months old before she really started to take to DH. She's now very much a daddy's girl!
    DD1 4.14.10
    DD2 8.22.13
    MMC 1.4.17 at 16w
    Expecting #3, EDD 1.29.18

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