Overwhelmed by potential match situations

Bpmg

Hi there ?

I am once again at a state of being completely overwhelmed! My DH and I spent a significant amount of time during our homestudy (and before) thinking through what type matches would be a good fit for us and what would not. While we knew each situation would be different and we should expect the unexpected , we thought we had many core decision factors identified. Enter real life?. We have a few situations we are considering as potential matches for us. I am finding I am completely overwhelmed understanding if a situation is a fit for us. In each situation, there is history of one or more concerning issues - drug use, ADD / ADHD (not to concerning) bi-polar in the father (concerning) psychiatric hospitalization for unknown reasons, PTSD.

Most of these seems to be a result of traumatic childhoods. (I understand there is a genetic factor to the bi-polar, but my understanding is that it can be triggered by life events which this likely was.)

It breaks my heart to be ?picky?, I know these babies will be born and will go to loving families and I feel tremendous guilt that I would ?pass? on these opportunities. I understand each situation is different ? but I am really struggling at understanding if these are particularly challenging matches or if they are typical.

I have spoken with the social worker and she has given us helpful guidance in deciding, but I am still indecisive. I know this is incredibly personal, but I would appreciate anyone?s insight into what might be typical risks you need to be open to in order to adopt. I know there aren?t a lot of Junos out there and I want to start my family.

Thanks in advance.

IRR

I hear you, just know that in life when you are actually pregnant you don't always know what you are going to get either.  Bipolar if you saw my post below is something I would have considered but my DH will not.  The chances of being passed alo

Dr.Loretta

There is no "typical" to what you'd be open to in order to adopt. Some people have a narrow list of things, some are more broad. Some start narrow and expand as time goes on. It's what's comfortable for YOU.

We were only open to a limited number/

Bpmg

Thank you .

I do have mental illness in my family, so there would be a risk if I ever were to get pregnant and it didnt keep me from trying. I am trying to keep that in mind as well. I have bipolar, addiction and schizophrenia in my extended f

silliestbunny

Making these decisions may seem tough but it's part of your journey to your child. Don't feel guilty about choices.  You need to be honest w/what is right for your family.  It is honest and fair to kn

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

CaptainSerious

When we were considering matches, we had a doctor familiar with adoption review the files of any child we were seriously considering.  He evaluated the files and gave us an idea of what the child's risk might be.  This was based on a combinat