Am I being insensitive?

ChristyML

My mom has been pretty rude to me lately (we live with her in her basement), and I've tried to ignore it. Today I had had enough though. I finally just blurted out that I was tired of her calling me a bad mom. She denied it of course. She's been saying things to my son, like "why can't your mom get you a blanket?" or "why can't your mom make your bottle faster?" etc. She says these things every single day, and a few times a day (I've been avoiding her for the past few months, so I haven't had to hear of them as often). I told her I have been trying to avoid her because she's been saying those things. She was offended. She is also pretty nosy about everything we do, which is just annoying, not really offensive.

I would have sat her down weeks ago and told her, but she would have been offended then too. 

I'm battling some PPD right now, and I don't need the added stress/guilty of her being sulky around me and making me feel bad. I do feel bad, but I'm wondering if I should apologize, or just forget about it? I need to do what's right for me right now, even if that means ignoring other people right now. I need to be healthy (mentally, physically, emotionally) for my family (MH and DS), and right now that means choosing myself over someone who bullies me. But if that bully is my mother, what am I supposed to do? Any advice is welcome.

Thanks!

ETA: The bolded and underlined parts. 

mben1119

Honestly, you need to move out. If you don't live in her home, she will have less to be nosy about.

crunchylove77

Apologize.  I don't necessarily think you're in the wrong, but as long as you're in her home, you need things to be as civil as possible.  Are there plans to get your own place in the near future?

ChristyML

pookey118:

Apologize.  I don't necessarily think you're in the wrong, but as long as you're in her home, you need things

bigbootyjudi

Does she know about your PPD? I would just sit her down and have an honest conversation with her. You're both adults and if you're currently stuck living there, it's best just to hash it all out and move on.

barbiescott

My grandmother has been the same way her whole life. Not sure why but she has toned down over time at least. I do lash out at her sometimes because I get too frustrated and can't take it anymore. I don't see her but once a year and I feel bad for being ha

aylafsu88

bigbootyjudi:

Does she know about your PPD? I would just sit her down and have an honest conversation with her. You're both ad

singingirl96

Frankly, it sounds like your mom is helping you out a whole lot.  There are ways to communicate your feelings without offending someone, especially your mother.  No one is going to love you as much as she does, and if she was saying those thi

stever

mabenner1:

Honestly, you need to move out. If you don't live in her home, she will have less to be nosy about.

jnnfrrose6

Your mother sounds completely passive aggressive by "saying" these things to your son and not to you.  I'd suspect this probably isn't new behavior for her either, but it's probably more evident and frustrating now that you are running at your wits e

NickKaylee

I'd talk to her and work on getting your own place. It's hard to have a family and live with your own as well. I have a relative that says those kinds of things too and it used to irritate me; but I have come to realize that she isn't doing it to be mean