Loss and Relationships

JennyLynne

So I know relationships are affected by grief. I've done the research and I get why & how it happens. But now that I'm 2 weeks post loss, I'm starting to feel some of that tension between DH and I. And the tension is giving way to anger and frustration on both sides.

Part of our particular issue right now is that he's back to working his two jobs and I'm not back to work yet. I'm at home with my stepdaughter (16) and parenting her, and he barely has time for either of us. When he does have it's either for himself or for his daughter. And I'm feeling abandoned and sad. We tried "talking" about it today, but it led to a situation where there wasn't much talking being done. 

So I guess I"m wondering how some of you loss mamas that are further along than I am into this journey have dealt with relationship tension and bumps along the way. Or just general advice from anyone really. I felt like initially we were really a lot closer because of what we're going through, but now I think we're past that. It's just adding another element to my sadness and anger. 

angelsnight

I don't have any advice but I just wanted to say you're not alone. After one week mh and I are still very united, but I have seen his grief come out in anger a few times in the last couple days. It's usually not even directed at me but my emotions are s

Unknown

I'm so sorry for your loss..... Unfortunately people deal with grief differently and the only advice I can give you is to give it time..... There is probably tension between yu guys because you feel the other person is not grieving " properly" ... Don't p

Heatherhah

All of the posters were right men really do handle grief so different. My DH went back to work after 3 weeks and he helped me so much in the beginning. He took care of me and he also took care of everything else for the 3 weeks he was home I couldn't f

fluttergirlmoonchild79

***ticker warning***

 

 

 

One of the best pieces of advise I received was from a couple we know who had lost their child a few years earlier - be patient with each other and communicate.  As others have said

shandorfml2

I agree that men and women grieve differently, and that is ok. I've had similar feelings where I felt DH was 'back to normal' or not grieving, and that is not true. He went back to work a few days a week 2 weeks after we lost Ana. It was really difficult

HullGut

Everyone has given great advise. After Hunter died our friend Fr. Joe who is also our priest came to visit us. He told us this whole situation could make or break us. We decided there that we would not fall apart that we would survive together. </

Poppy715

Everyone is right. Men and women grieve differently. Most men aren't as attached as women are. It takes time spend with a child. Since we are carry our children we become attached much quicker than men. Some don't feel much of anything until they hold

lrichmond86

Ticker warning

I'm so sorry for your loss. I think that what you're experiencing with dh is fairly typical. I know that probably doesn't make it feel any better but I don't think there are any of us who would say our relationship with our S

Noethola

I agree with previous posters. Men and women are very different. I can still cry at the drop of a hat, but DH doesn't express his grief that way. When he is sad and frustrated, he works out, buys more inventory for our business, or does other manual la

SaltyDonut

I can't add too much more than whats already been said, especially since I am not too far along in my grief journey. But I do know that men & women grieve differently, and when you factor in other circumstances, like if your DH has childr

JennyLynne

for all of you--I took a few days off from the internet and just came back to see such tremendous support and great advice. Thank you to all of you. I did start seeing a counselor myself just this week. I think it will play a major role in my hea

SammySarah

So very sorry for your loss 

I wish I could offer advice but I can't really,.. I just wanted to say that I hear where you are coming from,.. DH and I went through similar issues and are still having littl