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Easter blahs

jezebel57jezebel57 member
in Infertility
Just got done with one family's Easter lunch and thought I would be ok with my cousins 10 month old daughter. I got one glimpse of my father holding her on his knee and lost it so ran into the kitchen to help serve stuff. On another note, I am thinking I am going to church this week for the first time in over twenty five years to hopefully get some belief of something back into my life. Hope everyone is having a non if related good holiday.
Me (37) DH (39); PCOS changed to Unexplained, changed to DOR in 2012 (finally a correct diagnosis!); 
Started TTC 2009 with RE after 6 months.  
Clomid + Trigger x2; 
IUI + Femara x1,
IUI + Follistim x2;
IVF #1 (MDL) February 2013- BFN.
IVF #2 (antagonist) May 2013, First BFP of my life. 
Identical twin miracle BOYS (!!) headed our way- due date is technically 2/4/14 but c section is scheduled for 1/7! 


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Re: Easter blahs

  • vegasbound0606vegasbound0606 member
    I'm sorry, Jez. This is precisely why I had to get outta town for the holiday. You are a much stronger woman than I am. Big hugs to you.
    Me:40 DH: 43 m/c #1 4/8/08 @ 5w::natural
    m/c #2 missed m/c discovered 12/11/08 @ 8w3d :: d&c 12/15/08
    Feb 2009-began seeing an RE:: DX with unexplained IF
    Sept 2009 -2010 TTC using femara ...eventually work called me out of town.
    June 2011 DX with thyroid cancer-forced to put baby making on hold
    11/15/12 IUI #1 BFN and 12/15/12 IUI #2 BFN
    Feb 2013 IVF-BFN:: April 2013 FET-Cancelled:: July 2013 FET-1 frostie
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  • rlk2rlk2 member
    Hang in there. I know how you feel. My two nephews spent the weekend since my in laws were here too and it was an emotional weekend
    TTC 2 years- Me and DH (28) with (severely) low sperm count- less than 40 total (last 2 SA showed only 5 and 6 sperm each)
    IVF #1: ER 1/23/13- 4 eggs retrieved, 3 eggs fertilized; ET with 1 embryo 1/28/13 2 frosties beta #1 2/5 was 4.8- beta #2 2/7 3.5; BFN
    FET #1- transferred one beautiful 4AA embie. Praying this is my take home baby. Beta 5/7/13- BFFN!!!
    IVF #2: ER 7/17/13: 6R/3F- transferred 1 blast and 1 10 cell embryo 5dt.   Beta hell.  #1 2.5, #2 2.2- BFFFN! REALLY?
    IVF #3: ER 12/1 and only 2 retrieved.  1 fertilized with ICSI.  Was planning on transferring one fresh and one frozen....fresh was only 14 cells at day 5...CANCELLED and devastated due to 5cm blood filled cyst in ovary and blood in uterus.
    IVF #4: Antagonist protocol with endometrial scratch day one of stims.  ER 4/21: 6R/4M/3F- transferred 2 beautiful blasts (5dt) and one was hatching!  No frosties but hoping we won't need it!  Beta 5/4/14- 444(8dp5dt), Beta #2 10dp5dt 1002!  THIS HAS GOT TO BE IT!!!!!!!!!!  First US 5/15 we saw two of the most beautiful gestational and yolk sacs I have ever seen!  
    ****FINALLY PREGNANT WITH DI/DI TWINS!!!!!!!  

    BRINLEY AND RILEY LONG.  Born November 20, 2014 at 32 wks 3 days.  4lbs7oz and 4lbs5oz.  1 month NICU time for "B's" and growing and feeding.  Now healthy, thriving, beautiful little girls!
     imagehttp://i62.tinypic.com/2dl9ap0.jpgpghttp://oi61.tinypic.com/o7t1y0.jpg

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  • thebeefamilythebeefamily member
    We stayed home and ordered pizza. I'm in no state to deal with fertiles today. I hope the rest of your day is uneventfully fun.
    TTC my #1 with PCOS since June 2010.
    Countless Clomid&Femara Cycles.
    Feb. 2014-April 2015=AF arrived on time. 
    EDD: January 14, 2016. Finally.image
    Expecting One Healthy Baby Girl!!!
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  • jezebel57jezebel57 member
    i work around kids every day and i'm usually fine.  i think seeing my parents holding her and cooing made me so sad that they don't have a grandchild to do that to.  i feel heartbroken today.  
    Me (37) DH (39); PCOS changed to Unexplained, changed to DOR in 2012 (finally a correct diagnosis!); 
    Started TTC 2009 with RE after 6 months.  
    Clomid + Trigger x2; 
    IUI + Femara x1,
    IUI + Follistim x2;
    IVF #1 (MDL) February 2013- BFN.
    IVF #2 (antagonist) May 2013, First BFP of my life. 
    Identical twin miracle BOYS (!!) headed our way- due date is technically 2/4/14 but c section is scheduled for 1/7! 


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  • UnknownUnknown
    Today is my birthday on top of easter and i know how you feel. My younger cousin got pregnant at 18 and has a little girl, seeing how my family dotes on her is nice but it makes me sad that here we are, educated, good jobs house and married nearly 2 years
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  • violetmarie61516violetmarie61516 member
    I'm sorry Easter is rough for you this year.  I understand how it can be at holidays.  I've been seriously thinking about finding a church to attend as well.  I feel like I need some refreshment in my belief system.
    TTC #1 Since May 2011 ~ Everyone Welcome
    Me (34): DOR d/t chemo/radiation, Immature Endometrial Lining, Hypothyroidism
    DH (35): MFI d/t testicular torsion and removal, Low T, Oligospermia, Anti-Sperm Antibodies, Currently on T supplements
    Sept '11-April '13 ~  Testing, failed multiple MFI treatments, saving & TONS of praying
    January 2014 ~ IVF/ICSI & PGS ~ no response to stims ~ converted to IUI ~ BFN
    February 2014 ~ On to donor embyros ~ 5 blasts!!! 
    March 2014 ~ FET #1 ~ Transferred 2 blasts ~ BFN
    July 2014 ~ Kliman's mock cycle with endometrial function test
    Sample too small for EFT, HE slide showed immature cells
    New protocol planned, saving for another biopsy for EFT
    January 2015 ~ Considering adoption options
    April 2015 ~ Privately arranged adoption of planned pregnancy
    DD#1 ~ Lillyana Violet Marie born 6/15/16, Finalized adoption 12/20/16
    July 13, 2018 ~ BFP....WTF?!?!
    7/16 Beta #1 ~ 466...7/18 Beta #2 ~ 1,077...7/23 Beta #3 ~ 5,291
    7/23 US #1 ~ 1 gestational sac seen and yolk sac
    7/30 US #2 and 1st OB appt ~ 1 perfectly round gestational sac, 1 perfect yolk sac and 1 teeny tiny heart beat seen!!!
    Lilypie Maternity tickers


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  • shewolf576shewolf576 member

    I think we are all with you on that one.  I made it through Easter and didn't cry. First time in a long time I might add.  I guess it was the slim chance that next easter maybe I can have one of

    Married since 2004 Primary POF Foster parent but have no had an adoption trying embryo adoption Just want a forever baby RE jacksonville FL FIRM
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  • Crystal120410Crystal120410 member
    My Easter dinner when equally crappy. 
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
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  • kflynn81kflynn81 member
    I hear ya....my cousin has triplets and its really tough to see my Mom hugging them and kissing their heads. My parents are selling their house and will be moving a few states away so I may never get to see her be so close to her own grandchildren as she
    Me: 33, Endocrine issues & FVL       DH: 32, Nothing 
    NTNP 2009-2012         TTC since 2012:
    • Clomid, 2 IUI cycles, and 5 IVF cycles = BFN
    • FET #1   August 2013 = BFP!     EDD 5/11/14
    • Jack dx at 19w1d with Dandy Walker on 12/16/13
    • Severe Pre-e /HELLP set in Jack born sleeping at 20w1d on 12/23/13
    • FET #2 --July 2014  BFP!  ---  EDD  4/5/15

    Jack has handpicked his sibling up there :)

    My blog about IF and loss ... Kate's IF Blog

            Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 

                                                      

                                                                              Lilypie Pregnancy tickers


                  Anniversary





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  • wendy1983wendy1983
    I had one of those too. My cousin called and told everyone they found out they are having a girl. I just snapped, running in the other room crying. Blah. Beliefs, spirituality always great to have, This has helped me get through alot on this rollercoaster
    Me:29 DH:36 TTC: since 2011 PCOS since age 15,(I dont ovulate on my own). HSG:1-13 normal , 2-13 Clomid test didnt work, 2-12-13 RE talk appointment 2-13 all bloodwork is normal. Non responsive to Clomid. 2-16 Provea to start cycle.
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  • chucktgirlchucktgirl member
    Sorry, Jez. That is hard. We got through with minimal baby talk, thankfully. I hope you find the support you're looking for. <<hugs>>

    imageimageimageimageimageimageimageimage
    My BLOG: www.ivfbabyquest.wordpress.com -Update - old blog.

    PAIF/SAIF Welcome!
    Me: 42, Hubby: 35, TTC since Jan 2010. Dx: DOR due to advanced maternal age. Also: Hypothyroidism (100mcg Levothyroxin). Positive for MTHFR (hetero-C677T), Factor V Leiden, and Fragile X (on DH side). Taking pre-natal vitamins    .
    First natural PG 9/27/11; mc: 1/20/12
    First RE visit: 8/8/12, Saline Sonogram: 8/28/12, IVF injection class: 10/11/12, add FaBB Tab for FVL, +Vitamin D.
    IVF #1: 10/17/12 Baseline: FSH- 9.4, E2- 24, LH- 3.7, Prog- 0.3 The u/s showed 6 follicles in my right  & 9 in my left. Rx: 150 Bravelle & 150 Menopur SQ nightly. 10/21/12: Add Ganirelix SQ every morning.
    ER 10/28/12: 13 Retreived. 7 Mature. 6 Fertilized. 5 Made it to PGS. ET 11/2/12: CANCELED. All 5 came back from PGS as having "severe abnormalities."
    IVF #2: 1/7/13 Baseline: FSH- 8.8, 4 follicles in my right & 6 in my left. Rx: 150 Bravelle & 150 Menopur SQ nightly. 1/11/13: Add Ganirelix SQ every morning. hCG Trigger 1/16/13
    ER 1/18/13: 9 Retrieved. 5 Mature. 5 Fertilized. 2 Made it to PGS. ET 1/23/13: CANCELED. All embryos (he even sent the ones not growing) came back from PGS as having "multiple severe abnormalities."
    IVF #3:     NEW RE! 3/1/13 Baseline: FSH- 9.6, E2- 61, Prog- 0.94, 3 follicles in my right & 4 in my left. Rx: 150 Bravelle& 150 Menopur SQ in PM. 3/7/13: Add Ganirelix SQ in AM. hCG Trigger 3/9/13 SQ.
    ER 3/11/13: 6R, 2M, 2F. Day 3: one 8 cell, grade 0.  Five day ET 3/16/13: one early blast, grade Fair. 3/24/13 AF came a day before beta. BFN
    IVF #4:     (Added acupuncture to this cycle.) 3/25/13 WTF & Baseline: FSH-11.8, E2- 56, Prog- 0.84 3/26/13 Start stims. 3/30/13 u/s: 5 follicles in my right & 4 in my left. Rx: 225 Bravelle& 225 Menopur SQ in PM. 3/31/13 Add Ganirelix SQ in AM.hCG Trigger 4/3/13 SQ.
    ER 4/5/13: 5R, 3M, 3F naturally. Day 3: two 8 cell, grade 0, one 8 cell, grade 2 (Scale 0-best to 3-worst). Five day ET 4/10/13: two blastocysts (the 3rd stopped growing.) Beta 4/18/13: 2.5 BFFN. RE recommends we stop trying and focus on living childless, due to the extremely poor quality of my eggs.
    ***Decided to stop trying and live CFNBC. I couldn't adjust. So, six months later...
    IVF #5: Changed RE. Going to one of the big name clinics now. OWDU: 10/29/13. Update: HORRIBLE experience. Disgusted and distraught at their complete unprofessionalism and how much money and precious time they cost us. Sickening. Have now changed RE again. New Patient appt. 1/30/14.
    BFP! Out of nowhere, I got KU the old fashioned way! POAS 1/26/14 - Positive! FDLM 12/30/13. Beta #1 16dpo= 373. Beta #2 18dpo= 801. EDD 10/6/14
    2/4/14 1st U/S revealed a 5wk2day sac but no fetal pole. Started 200mgs of progesterone suppositories daily
    2/11/14 2nd U/S revealed a perfect 6wk1day "diamond ring" embryo with a beating heart! 138bpm! Add 1mg folic acid and 40mg Lovenox
    2/25/14 3rd U/S: perfect 8w1d embryo, 178bpm. 3/6 start spotting. 3/11 10w1d U/S shows no heartbeat. Scheduling D&C. The Stork has forsaken me again.
    IVF #5.2: New in-state RE. Supplement priming for 1.5 cycles prior to start of cycle, including DHEA 50mg (stopped 5/15), CoQ10 200mg 2x/day, L-Arginine- 1000mg 2x/day (stopped 6/5 due to cold sore!), myo-inositol- 2g 2x/day, melatonin- 3mg, and Neevo (prenatal for MTHFR).
    5/16/14 Day 2 bw cycle prior: FSH- 12.22, E2- 38.37, Prog- 1.35, LH- 9.46. 6/2/14 Day 19 bw: Prog- 23
    6/12/14 Baseline: E2- 122.7, Prog- 0.4. 5 follicles in left, 4 follicles in right. Start stims: 375IU Follistim & 150IU Menopur. 6/19 Increase Follistim to 425IU, Menopur still 150IU. 6/18 add Ganirelix. 6/23 Ovidrel trigger SQ. 6/25 ER: 8R, 8M, 5F naturally. Start Medrol & Doxy. 6/26 Start Endometrin. 7/2 Start Lovenox.
    7/8/14 Beta= 137.4 BFP!!! (My first from IVF!) E2- 1109, Prog- >60. Stop CoQ10, myo-inositol, and melatonin. 7/9 2nd Beta= 281.4. TSH- 2.70. Increasing Synthroid to 100mcg daily. 7/24 6w3d u/s measured 6w3d, hb: 121bmp! 8/5 8w1d u/s measured 8w3d, hb: 164bpm! Graduated from RE to OB. Now I just need to find an OB!
    EDD 3/18/15!

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