My mom is controlling daycare!

lindsmcP@msn.com

My mom watches DS and I am concerned that she goes out too frequently with him.  He is not on a set nap schedule but I would like him to be.  I tried to get her on board with helping me set a schedule, but she refuses to stay home long enough to ensure he starts taking naps in the crib instead of in the carseat. She told me she refuses to be tied down to the house.  I'm considering having someone else watch DS, but she takes it to mean I don't think she cares for him properly.  Thoughts? He is 5 mos and I think we should be moving towards a 2-3 nap a day schedule with naps longer than 45 min!  I don't want to burn any bridges but I think a schedule/routine is important for DS.  Help!

MammaBear81

yes, you need to find someone who will care for your child the way you want them to. I had the same type of problem with my mom, and we found someone else.

MagickalNarwhal

The exact thing happened with me right around the same age. My cousin, who watched my son, doesn't "believe" in scheduling babies. We found other care. But we only needed care 1 day a week.

I am now a pretty firm believer in not hiring famil

ASmallWonder

Remind her that she likes to sleep in her bed at night.  Your kid isn't any different.  He needs to sleep soundly and safely at regular intervals.  That's not to say you stay glued to house every day and become a slave to the nap schedule c

EastCoastBride

elmoali:

Remind her that she likes to sleep in her bed at night.  Your kid isn't any different. 

Virgo17

Well your mom is going to have some control over daycare because she is daycare.  This is one of the trade-offs with a family member watching LO.  Trust me, I understand where you are coming from because we have a family member watch our kids

boogerbearoriginal

IMO if she has so many errands to run that she cannot keep LO at home for most naps, or on any sort of loose schedule than she's simply too busy to watch your baby full time. 

First hand experience, and stories like this have only confirmed

iluvmylab

Find someone else.  At 5 months, my son was no where close to a schedule, but now that he's 16 months, he naps from around 12-2 every day.  I would not be ok with anyone driving my kid around in a car everyday for their naps.  In fact, I

mrsgaines100

If the person who is caring for your child full time does not defer to your reasonable and healthy request for a schedule, I'd say its time to fine someone or somewhere that will.

RondackHiker

lindsmcPmsn.com:

My mom watches DS and I am concerned that she goes out too frequently with him. nbsp;He is not on a set nap schedu

Mustardseed2007

I just want to add that I have also had family (my mom and sister) serve as my day care and it has turned out well. However, I am (I think) sort of laid back about most things and also my mom and sister don't try to do anything that woul

thedash

Another vote for finding a new daycare situation. Taking care of an infant does result in being somewhat "tied down to the house" and if she's not willing to experience that then she should welcome you finding someone else.

EastCoastBride

Mustardseed2007:

I just want to add that I have also had family (my mom and sister) serve as my day care and it has turned out

mben1119

If it is too much of an inconvenience for her to keep your LO home long enough to nap properly, you need to find other day care arrangements. End of story.

rubber_chicken

On the one hand, I don't think daycare is going to solve your nap issue.  None of the daycares around here do a schedule for the infant room - everything is on demand. And my LO only takes 1 20-40 minute nap a day during the week.  Whereas on

MagickalNarwhal

Just want to add, based on some previous comments. I am SUPER laid back about most things. I agree that you lose some control when your child is in care. However, "refusing to be tied down" to accomodate a nap schedule, TO ME, indicates a basic orienta

aeh72

With all due respect to your mom, no, she's not caring for him properly if she refuses to get him on a solid nap schedule.  Your son's care should be her priority - not fitting him in to her routine and activities.  I do believe babies/toddle

Kie310

Mustardseed2007:

I just want to add that I have also had family (my mom and sister) serve as my day care and it has turned

jnealet

I'm really laid back about things but here's my thoughts.  I was pretty strict with my first on naps, she was at an inhome and napped consistantly.  My second was just toted along with whatever the first had on that day.  She's in a diff

[Deleted User]

Well, you DON'T think she's caring for him properly, so there's that. Bottom line is, if she can't follow simple directions like "make sure you're home MOST of the time so LO can nap in his crib", then you should most definitely find new daycare. If she's

kcircell

Ahh sounds a lot like my mom, I mostly let it go. Is she watching LO 5 days a week that would make it hard for her to get errands done. I think an approach down the middle might be what is needed here, say Hi Mom would it be helpful if we found care say 1

pitterpatter129

This is why I never used family/friends as a babysitter.  We had some offers for free sitting too, but I figured I'd be more comfortable at a center because when I don't agree with something, I can just tell them.  I don't have to worry about

LoCarb

I would find alt DC and not strain your relationship w/ mom.

lana22

my LO was on a "nap schedule" from a pretty young age, but he rarely took naps longer than 45 min, so just an FYI that not every kid moves to 1-2 hour naps. that said, imo establishing a nap schedule (and a schedule in general) is really important for inf

mrsrobinsontobe

i have to say that i agree with your mom! it's likely she said the statement about being "tied down" because you guys were arguing, and she felt on the defensive -- she is your parent and you are telling her how to parent. she's your mom! my mom has wa

iluvmylab

mrsrobinsontobe:

i have to say that i agree with your mom! it's likely she said the statement about being "tied down" because

mrsrobinsontobe

i realize that...the highlighted portion is part of a larger thought!