How would you react?

KPatrick24

Hi everyone! I'm a FTM, tomorrow I will be 16 weeks. The other day, I decided to take out my belly button piercing. My FIL and step MIL came over that same night. When she noticed that I had taken out my belly button piercing, she commented "Finally! I would hate for you to be a trashy mom with that piercing." I was furious, offended, you name it... but I bit my lip and let it go, as I have other comments of hers. Unfortunately, DH didn't hear it. For example, when we first found out we were expecting, the topic of baby names came up. she said that our choice for a girl, Adalyn Rose, sounded like a stripper name.. even impersonated the name being announced. I know that I need to stand up for myself but with this being such an exciting time for us right now, I don't want to start a fight with her... but maybe that's what I need to do, because the comments are upsetting and are just unnecessary. Any advice or personal experiences are appreciated.

526SadieSadie

SMIL sounds like a real peach. Does she think she's funny? Are you the only one who she says nasty things to? I wouldn't say anything. Next time she makes a comment, let DH talk to her or his father to let them know her comments are upsetting you.

Disneygeek77

Does your husband have to hear it himself to say something to her ? 

Next time just look at her and with as little emotion as possible say "  What do you mean ? "  or " Why would you say something like that ? " and then watch

lindsayanne14

In my opinion, this is a situation your DH should address with his mother.  Personally, I would have a talk with him about the comments she has made (if you haven't already) and ask him to discuss it with her.  If he isn't willing to do that for

1026pumpkin

First off, I think I can be a little snobby about names that sound "stripperish," and Adalyn Rose is beautiful!

That said, the next time she makes a snarky comment, I would respond with, "that is so hurtful, why would you say something like that

KPatrick24

Thanks y'all. I really appreciate the advice. I really do believe that she thinks she's funny. I do wonder if jealousy has a lot to do with it. My FIL is much older than her and he did not want any more children, so unfortunately, she has no chi

Disneygeek77

It could be or she might just be a huge jerkface who is used to getting away with bad behavior because no one stands up to her. 

Seriously, next time you ( or your husband) put her on the spot and ask her what she meant or why she would say

magdalina.h

well I'm one of those trashy moms because I wore my piercing up until delivery and put it back in once I got home from the hospital.

KPatrick24

magdalina.h:

well I'm one of those trashy moms because I wore my piercing up until delivery and put it back in once I got home

lvetter622

I have the same problem with my MIL, not the bad comments but let?s just say very opinionated! I have discussed this with my DH and he deals with her directly about the amount of respect she needs to give me being his w

WheeLinTheSky3

I agree with PP, your SMIL sounds like an insecure bully. She knows exactly what she's doing when she makes comments like that. I would ask DH to talk to either her or your FIL about it. If he wont, or if that doesnt work, I suggest calling her on it i

lwhyte23

My SIL gave birth to my beautiful niece in January of last year, so she was just starting to show the summer before. She also had a belly button piercing, that she took out around that same time. Her mother (my dear MIL) as well as her aunts a

KPatrick24

Kristin030:

I agree with PP, your SMIL sounds like an insecure bully. She knows exactly what she's doing when she makes commen

IrishPiratess

oh jeez.

As a FTM with a septum ring, I'd love to know what she'd say to me! 

 

However, whenever people comment about my piercings, I like t

bumpuser8571475

I think Adalyn Rose is beautiful. 

amberyintar

Yikes, ILs can be something else. I got a longer, flexible "maternity belly button ring". Granted, I only wear it at night to keep the hole open for after baby (it's a little uncomfortable during the day), but if I was in your situation, I'd make sure the

SciChick

You know everyone has an opinion. My husband and I are from different cultural backgrounds and so choosing a name is proving to be a process. One name I liked, Layla, had a family member telling me that it was a prostitute from the Eric Clapton song. In t

simplestlife

If it were me, I would just look her right in the eye and flat out say, "Welllllllll, THAT was rude." Then just keep looking at her. And when she acts confused or tries to imply that you're being too sensitive, just ask her, "Did you even consider how

TurtleMomma

DH's family is extremely passive aggressive, and their modus operandi is to snipe CONSTANTLY. What works for me, and a pp mentioned this, too, is to ask "What did you mean by that?" Bullies, and it sounds like that is what you are dealing with,

katiebenes

haha. my Mom thinks now that I'm "going to be a Mother of twins" I need to be "more modest."

By her definition this seems to mean never ever showing clevage, not showing my flabby arms anymore (which took me a long time to be okay with my arms sh

MissLaydie

KPatrick24:

magdali

MJHershey

Wow, she seems to have a preoccupation with being trashy and strippers- maybe she was one. - just trying to make you laugh.

I think Adalyn Rose is very pretty!

And the rest- PPs already nailed great advice.