I haven't been posting or responding much lately, although I still lurk. I wanted to thank everyone for all of their responses and posts and comments during what was the craziest time of my life earlier this year! It still seems strange to go from thinking I had maybe 3 babies in there, from 2 different months, to none. I am 99% certain now that those other two "areas" on the U/S were never sacs...But for 4 weeks we really didn't know and I'll never forget those emotional ups and downs. Thank goodness I could come here for reassurance and understanding.
I'm not sure where I go from here. DH and I have been dancing around the subject, but we might be done. We might just be happy with our family of three. Will I regret it? maybe. Do I want to go through a third miscarriage? Not really. I know people go through SO much more than I have and I don't mean to diminish that one bit. I think everyone has their limits and I'm admitting mine are lower and I'm not strong enough for all of this. one thing is certain - I'm done with fertility treatments. It's just not for me and my personality, which tends to be obsessive about things.
The past few weeks I have sorted through and purged about 8 bins of DS's old clothes - some to Goodwill and some to friends. I kept a very small pile of gender neutral baby things, just in case I guess. I'm about to sell our glider, exersaucer, swing and jumper. I have given away tons of old toys he no longer plays with. I guess worst case scenario I buy new gear or get stuff from friends (All of our friends are having babies after us) or off Craig's list....
I feel sad that we haven't given DS a sibling, although he is the happiest kid I have ever met and just loves life. He adores his cousins (he has 7) although they all live in NY and Ohio and he doens't see them as often as I'd like. I don't think he feels anything is missing from his life though. I wish we had tried sooner, maybe when he was 2 or 3, but I wasn't ready then I guess. And as much as I want him to have a sibling, if I'm being completely honest, I don't know if I'm ready to go back to all the baby stuiff again - no sleep, sickness and worries, teething, diapers, communication struggles before they can talk, crying, etc. Life is pretty easy with a very independent and mature 5 and a half year old.
I am so torn - i'm approaching 38 and don't have all the time in the world to decide so I'm just going to take a few deep breaths and think about it some more and what I want. I just wanted to thank everyone here agin for their support. i wish all of you only the best - whether that be with another child or not. Praying for every single one of you!
Re: Not sure where to go from here
Many hugs. Even though I'm more of a lurker here, I've followed your journey and hated all of the uncertainty that you went through.
Everything you've expressed are all thoughts I've had (especaily about learning to be happy with a
Love, luck, and prayers to my BFPB Dr. SnowflakeBride
Rainbow Surprise Baby due 05/26/2017
11/2010 DH SA good...01/2011 HSG is clear...01/2011 Consult with RE
suprise BFP but m/c on 2/7/11
03/2011 50 mg clomid=BFN
04/2011 clomid+bromocriptine+IUI=BFP at 11dpiui
Beta #1(11dpiui)=33, Beta #2 (13dpiui)=96, Beta #3 (20dpiui)=1910, Beta #4 (26dpiui)=20,134
Thanks so much everyone And we do actually have a trip to Disney World planned in one month - We planned this back when we were doing IUI as our last trip before I was hopefully pregnant again and also before DS is in school and we're dictated
I can so relate to where you are coming from. My DD is 2.5 and I marvel at just how much easier and fun life has gotten now that she is this age. I too wonder if I would be ok going back to that stage of babyhood or if I could become content with havin
It is so tough struggling with all of these questions. I am struggling with them myself. I hope with time and some distance (yay for vacation!!), you'll be able to find the answers you are seeking.
Have a great time at Disney Wor
Me: 42. DH: 46.
1st Pregnancy: MC, 11/19/00.
2nd Pregnancy: DS born 04/10/06.
3rd Pregnancy: CP, 03/11.
4th Pregnancy: MMC, D&C 11/30/11, Genetic testing revealed Trisomy 4.
5th Pregnancy: Ectopic, 2 doses of Methotrexate unsuccessful, surgery 4/10/12, right tube removed.
Tried Letrozole January 2013-July 2013 (including 2 IUIs), all BFN. After 2 1/2 years of trying for child #2, decided to "give up" after July cycle, based on AMA.
August 16, 2013: BFP our first month of "not trying!" Still in shock. Beta #1 (14dpo): 183. Beta #2 (17dpo): 611. Ultrasound 8/30/13: baby measured 6 weeks, 1 day, heart rate of 118 bpm!
Ultrasound 9/13/13: 8 weeks, heart rate of 176!
Baby is due 4/26/14