Guardians? (long!)

BrideBuddies

The topic that makes me age 1-2 years every time we discuss it.

How did you determine who will be your child/children's guardians?

Yes, I know... we are awful parents because we have not yet designated a guardian for Charles.  

I have one sister and I really DO NOT want her to raise my child.  She's passive-aggressive/bossy and I am 100% she would not honor our wishes that C be raised Catholic.  In fact, she routinely says nasty, ignorant things about the church.   That is a huge thing for my husband.  Plus her kids are teenagers and she's already planning for her life after they're out of the house.   I know she will go through the roof if she finds out she doesn't get her mitts on my kid.  (She got mad when she wasn't picked as Godparent)

DH's siblings are all off the table too.  Three brothers who are not parent material at all, and an older sister who is a nun and lives in a monastery.

We are leaning toward my best friend since childhood and her husband.  They are already C's godparents.  They live about an hour from C's grandma (my mom)   They are devout Catholics.  They struggled and struggled to have a family and finally adopted their son.. who is now pre-teen.  I know they'd love to have another child to raise and would have now qualms about raising Charlie.

What do you think???????  Is it weird to not have family as guardians?

 

aurora1974

No judgement here.  We haven't designated guardians for DD either.  I don't think it's weird at all.  I don't think it has to be family.  It should be whoever you feel the most comfortable raising. To be honest, the only person I would

robynlesley

Aaron is Charles age and we haven't designated guardians officially yet. Though we will have DH's sister be the guardian. She is married with 2 boys who adore him. And as a backup, most likely DH's brother.

Need to get on this. 

smerka

We designated the best man from our wedding and his wife.  My brother doesn't want children and DHs brothers are kind of a mess.  My brother would be in charge of the money aspect, but our friends would be great at raising our boys.  

Strunella

We designated guardians when we drew up our wills.  I am an only child and DH has one sister.   She is unmarried and for a whole host of reasons is not someone I would ever want raising my son.  So, for us, it was pretty clear that

stever

I'd go with the friends. When I was wee my guardians were Jewish. My parents are athiest but chose their best friends because they were married and good people.

When I was 12 my guardianship changed because my dad's little brother got married, s

Piranha54

I am the guardians for two of my best friend's kiddos.  In one situation, she and her husband both bypassed family because they didn't believe their wishes would be followed - an international family who wanted to ensure the kids knew both families.

ELF4321

Not weird at all.  This isn't something that should be decided based on family "politics" or the risk of hurt feelings --- this is about your child and who will love him and raise him the way that you want him to be raised.  We opted to NOT name

Scramblersmom

We haven't chosen a guardian for DS so you are not alone. I also don't think it is weird to have a non-family member as a guardian. When my brother and I were kids my Godparents were our named guardians. My Godfather was my Dad's good friend from colle

Sunidaze

This is a place we have not yet gone and it hurts my brain to even consider it.  I have two best friends from high school and honestly wouldn't consider either to to be Stella's guardian.  One is married and I love both her and her husband...bet

meganandchase

I'm not sure this counts as judging, but this is a really big deal.  You need to get a will in order so that your wishes be known.  If you guys die tomorrow, it almost certain that your wish to have your friend be his guardian will not be hon

jlw2505

You need to pick the person/people that you would trust to raise your child/children bottom line.  Family or friends who cares.  As far as your sister, you don't need to tell her that she is not the one you are listing.  Most likely, she wi

Carnation77

I don't think it's weird to designate a non-relative to care for your child.  However, I do think you need to establish a trust with enough money in it to pay for your child's care so they don't experience too much financial strain if they take on th

*sparky*

NO judgment at all...we named DH's sister as guardian when DS was younger, but her life seems to be falling apart lately and I have been really second guessing our choice.  It is a stressful conversation with DH every time I bring it up but I thin

Dr.Loretta

The guardians you have in mind sound perfect. Some people may think it's weird if you don't have family as guardians, but not everyone has good options within their families.

We struggled for a while. We want DD raised Catholic, which elimin

LadyXaverian

DH's sister and her husband are in our will to be guardians.

Our back up is Dh's niece and her husband. This is also in our will.

I don't think it has to be family. No judgement from me!

ilovemygirls

Not weird at all.  While we can't choose our family, we can choose our friends.  Most of my friends are closer to me than my sisters.  Who, btw, I would NEVER have raise my children.  We ended up actually choosing DH's sister & her

CheezeFace

So, let me thank you for posting this.  It sparked a much needed conversation in my home.

I don't think it is weird not to have family as guardians.  Right now, my BFF is the #1 choice for us. Both DH and I agree.  We discussed hav