What is this even called?

MzCurnett8886

I followed some ladies advice with letting MIL throw a shower for her side instead of a huge 80+ person shower that SMIL and SIL wants to throw. I am still dreading getting that 30yr old walker/swing and crib that DH used as a baby though.

So she decides to tell me her plans so that I can "make room" in my house. I wasn't aware it was now being held at my house but that works so all the guests and I don't have to drive 2hrs one way. She wants to have all the women on her side come to my house and basically sit around and "shower" me advice. No gifts and a potluck. EEEKKK! A potluck?! So I'm going to sit around and hear how to take care of my child? I won't even have DH around as a buffer, or  after I'm all stressed to listen so I can see this ending with me just feeling all kinds of upset and frustrated. DH is deployed so he won't even be around for any part of the pregnancy/birth/first months.

I'm not sure what to call this. MIL wants to just send out a mass Facebook invite. What would you call this? A really good friend is just naming it "The headache" but I do want to be grateful for the gesture.

[Deleted User]

I don't understand why you can't just politely decline it? If it were me and I were you, I'd have my DH tell his mom thanks but no thanks.

Disneygeek77

Ok, I would draw the line with that.  I would have you or your husband call her up and say that won't work for you.  Say you are busy or have plans on that day or whatever but I wouldn't do that at all. 

If she really wants to giv

Meery82

Oh boy. A crock of shiit, that's what I'd call it. I would find a way to decline and get out of it. Good luck!

MzCurnett8886

stw_77:

Ok, I would draw the line with that.  I would have you or your husband call her up and say that won't work for yo

couliegirl

"Cancelled" That's what I'd call it. There's no way in H that I would sit around and take 30 year old 'advice' from people I barely know. First of all it's a waste of time and second of all WTF?

jbelle

I'm sure it's because I'm dealing with IF, but I can't help but think, is no one on your MIL's list childless?  

deltagirl79

I've never heard of anything like that. Do you think she is just overwhelmed by doing it by herself? Is there anyone you are close to like a SIL that can talk to her and find out what is going on. I'm sorry, I would probably decline an invitation to a pot

Disneygeek77

Just tell her no.

Say you aren't comfortable with it or come up with another excuse like you are busy, don't have to room whatever. 

1026pumpkin

I agree with PPs about doing your best to cancel it.  If you really can't, I would tell her to leave any mention of gifts off the invite and not suggest people bring a dish with them.  Ask her to do it at a non-meal time (i.e. 2pm) and just orde

jackson290721

GET OUT!! RUN AWAY!!! HIDE!! 

No, really though. I would do everything I could to find a way to cancel that "shower." There is no way I could sit through that. I also don't think any of the guests will find it very entertaining either. I would

[Deleted User]

stw_77:

Just tell her no.

Say you aren't comfortable with it or come up with another excuse like you are busy, don'

MzCurnett8886

1026pumpkin:

I agree with PPs about doing your best to cancel it.  If you really can't, I would tell her to leave any men

Disneygeek77

well it is just a terrible idea.  I doubt you would get much of a turnout anyways. 

Just thank her for her kind offer but it simply won't work.  Maybe plan a day with just the two of you and have lunch, go see a movie, go shopping

LaineyPaney

I have no idea what to call it, but my goodness.... I wouldn't trade places with u for a million bucks! Sorry!!!

Unknown

I feel that you might just have to "grin and bear it" through this party. Not saying I would be happy about it, but this is what I would do (My MIL comes up with similar well-intended ideas).  Just remember that it is only one afternoon, you don't

weaslewam

LaineyPaney:

I have no idea what to call it, but my goodness.... I wouldn't trade places with u for a million bucks! Sorry!!!<

cinderin

MzCurnett8886:

1026

LatteLady5

Betty&Co:

stw_77:<

M0ON

Officially the worst idea for a baby shower ever. Dont do it!

cole2144

So let`s get this right, your MIL TELLS you she is throwing you a shower at your home that will include her side of the family gathering to tell you how to raise your baby, do I have that right?! Umm no, cancel, you need to start drawing boundaries for th

Cranang

weaslewam:

Laine

1026pumpkin

kbruington:

MzCurnett8

jencnh

Oh boy....I am mostly wondering why it is that she's decided you shouldn't get gifts at your shower? That alone is mean! Is it because you'll be all set with the 30 year old baby equipment she's bringing you, so there will be no need for gifts? (which by

carlieanddanwedding

Normally a lurker on this board, but just had to say...

Your MIL is nuts!  And you need to start drawing boundaries with her NOW. It's only going to get harder once there is a grandbaby in the picture. It's really unfortunate that your hubby

PrimRoseMama

Decline.

EastCoastBride

I'm on the "decline" side of this.  And I really FULLY agree- you NEED to start creating boundaries w/ this woman.  Especially as your DH is deployed. YOU are going to need to start learning to say "no" to her or she will steam roll you in ma

526SadieSadie

There is no way on earth I'd be comfortable sitting in a room with people I don't know dictating how I should raise my kid, that isn't a shower, that's a stress test gone haywire. 

 

xolola

couliegirl:

"Cancelled" That's what I'd call it. There's no way in H that I would sit around and take 30 year old 'adv

MidwestGidget

What do you call it when a bunch of people sit around and give you unasked for advice while you try your best to smile and nod?

Your First Introduction to Parenting.

 

Find a way to get out of this. Frankly, if the MIL steamroll

rpalen29

I thought a shower was to "shower the mom with gifts". IMO, it sounds like a headache. Who are these people she's inviting? It's definitely not a shower.. it just sounds like a bunch of crazy old women telling another women what to do when shes a mothe

abirdd9

Betty&Co:

I don't understand why you can't just politely decline it? If it were me and I were you, I'd have my DH tell his

MelleTX

I don't mean this to insult the OP, but I have never understood how people get stuck in these situations. You can certainly tell your MIL "no" in a polite and respectful manner. 

My mother comes up with a zillion hair-brained ideas each day,

JUSTMENU4

MzCurnett8886:

I followed some ladies advice with letting MIL throw a shower for her side instead of a huge 80+ person show

MzCurnett8886

MelleTX:

I don't mean this to insult the OP, but I have never understood how people get stuck in these situations. You can cer