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Today is the second worst day of my 2IF journey.

kimberm0511kimberm0511 member
in Secondary IF
The worst day was my miscarriage. Today, I found out my ex husband and his wife are pregnant. I don't know why it hurts so bad. Maybe its because he adamantly declared he would never have more kids. I knew she wanted one. Who can blame her? But it hurts. It took everything I had to keep it together in front of them. It feels like someone ripped my heart out and knocked the wind out of me. I should have been the one to give my boys a sibling first. I've been trying for so long! I can't stand this. I really can't. Dh doesn't seem to get it and I wish he did. I want him to hurt like I do as bad as that sounds. I just want him to understand the pain of it all.
TTC #3 (#1 for DH) since September 2011. DX: Unexplained infertility with possible cervical factor. May 2012 did clomid with IUI - BFN August 2012 IUI #2 w/ follistim/letrozole - BFN September 2012 IUI #3 w/ follistim/letrozole - BFN October 2012 IUI #4 w/ follistim/letrozole - BFN November/December 2012 IVF/ICSI #1 Retrieved 12 eggs, 8 fertilized. Transferred 1 beautiful embryo and 5 made it to freeze. Got my BFP! January 2013 u/s showed empty gestational sac. FET cycle April 2013.  Transferred 2 5 day embryos.  BFP!!!!!  2 heartbeats!!!!  EDD:  12/27/13
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Re: Today is the second worst day of my 2IF journey.

  • suzie711suzie711 member
    I am so sorry :(
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie Pregnancy tickers Dx: Hypothalamic Amennorhea (Unexplained) DS #1: IVF #1 - Born: 3/15/10 TTC #2: FET Cycle #1: BFP 11/4/12(HPT) - Beta #1: 61.8 Beta #2: 60 :( Beta #3: 14 Natural M/C FET Cycle #2: ET: 2/13/13, BFP 2/20/13 (HPT) - Beta #1:9dp5dt(2/22/13) - 93.1 - Beta #2:12dp5dt - 543
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  • jeannaqueenajeannaqueena member

    Oh my, how extremely hard! I don't fault you for feeling this way at all.  I can't imagine how hard that would be.  I wish everything was different for you. 

    (((Hugs))) 

    TTC#1: 14 months on our own (did HSG, b/w, SA);
    BFP on Cycle 14--TWINS! Identical twin boys stillborn at 19wks(1/9/10)
    3 break cycles; took clomid 50mg, BFP #2 Beta #1 35, Beta #2 338!!! Owen was born 2/11/11! 
    TTC#2: 4 cycles on clomid: BFNs
    BFP #3: Cycle #5 100mg clomid; beta #1 21; beta #2 6=CP 
    Cycle #6 break cycle TTC no meds=BFN
    Cycle #7: 150 clomid+ovidril+IUI=BFN (switched to RE)
    Cycle #8: follistem+ovidril+TI=BFN
    Cycle #9 Forced break due to cyst
    Cycle #10 follistem+ovidril+TI=BFN
    Cycle #11 follistem+ovidril+TI=BFN
    Cycle#12 Forced break due to cyst, went on BCP; did repeat HSG, Saline U/S
    Cycle #13 IVF: Follistim/Menapur ER 11-30 11 eggs, 5 mature, 4 fertilized and 3dt on 12-3; BFN
    Cycle #14: IVF#2 lupron/follistim/menopur ER 1-22, 19 eggs, 14 fertilized, 5dt on 1-27, BFP!! beta 1: 63, beta 2: 119; EDD 10-15-13; 1 frozen embie
    Miracle Surprise BFP, EDD 10-1-15; saw HB great Betas, 11weeks lost baby MC at home
    Moved forward with FET transfered solo frostie on 6-4-15, beta 1: 315, beta 2: 738, u/s showed one baby on track EDD 2-21-16
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  • Jen071407Jen071407 member
    I'm so sorry. I can understand why it would hurt and make you angry. IF stinks.

    Two DDs 10/08 and 08/10, no primary IF
    TTC #3 since 10/2011 - dx unexplained/weak ovulation
     3 BFN clomid + TI cycles, 5 BFN clomid/gonal f IUIs, 1 mmc IUI
    2/19/2014 IVF #1 Unexpected low E2 (oversuppressed) -> increased to max doses = 3 or 4 follicles, converting to IUI
    BFFP Saw 1 beautiful heartbeat at 6w6d, follow up u/s at 9w showed mmc. Eff this.
    NTNP 5/2014-9/2014, OPKs and TI 10/2014 - 1/2015. 
    RPL testing all normal, AFC, AMH, and FSH all normal. 
    IVF 1.2 1/22/2014 natural cycle start, AFC 28, 300 gonal f/150menopur. 
    ER 2/3/15 14R 8M 3F w/ICSI Day 5 transfer on 2/8/15 of one "Grade A+" blast and have TWO frosties! 

     image

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  • huskermamahuskermama member

    Sorry, I can't imagine, but understand why you would feel so sad.  Hoping things turn around and you have your own happy news soon!

    image


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    image


    http://svendsenfamilyjournal.wordpress.com/


    5/07 - DD conceived naturally cycle #1

    8/09 - Started TTC #2
    11/10 - BFP!
    12/10 - MC (Chemical Pregnancy)
    2/11 - IUI #1 with clomid & trigger = BFN
    5/11- Switched to a Fertility Specialist, Dx with low progesterone and annovulatory, several rounds of
             clomid = BFN's
    4/12 - Exploratory Lap, Dx Stage III endo
    5/12 - 7/12 - Lupron injections to suppress AF and reduce scar tissue
    8/12 - Surgery to remove tissue, uterus and tubes clear!
    9/12-12/12 - More BFN's!
    1/13 - Referred to an RE
    2/13 - IUI #1 with injects and new RE = BFN
    3/13 - 4/13 - Break due to cysts
    5/13 - IUI #2 with injects (125ml bravelle + trigger) = BFP!!!
    EDD - 1/23/14

     

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  • CeCe8579CeCe8579 member
    Hugs! I am going through a similar situation. My ex's gf is pregnant. I wanted to give DD a sibling first. I'm so sorry!
    Carly
    (Former UN: iloveshanej)

    Birdie born 05/01/2007
    Rainbow Surprise Baby due 05/26/2017                                          


    Potato Launcher


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  • notkateanymorenotkateanymore member
    I'm sorry that you're having a hard time with it. Hopefully it will get easier.
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  • MegStrandMegStrand member
    I'm so sorry. :-( I don't blame you one bit for how you feel.
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  • M&MDM&MD member
    I'm so sorry. My ex husband is getting married this summer and they have already said they are going to start trying right away. Reading your post made me burst into tears. I'm so sorry you have to go through this and understand completely why you fe
    Me: 29; DH: 28; DS: 7 Married: 11/12/11 TTC since 11/11 1/13 Clomid 50mg = BFN
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  • HairStylinWifeyHairStylinWifey member
    I'm so very sorry :(

    image
     
    A + Life

    Anniversary
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Me:24 DH:27
    TTC #2 since August 2011

    DX: Low AMH 1.79 Mildly elevated FSH 9.9

    1 month of Letrozole, 3 IUI's with Letrozole, All BFN. 1 canceled IVF cycle, BFN.


    May 2013 IVF w/ICSI #1.5: Start BCP 5/8 2 pills a day. Suppression Ultrasound 5/29. Begin Dexamethasone & Lupron Microdose 5/31. Started Gonal F and Menopur 6/2.


    ER 6/12 13R,9M,8F.


    5DT CANCELLED due to moderate OHSS


    5DT UNcancelled due to embryos not being capable of cryopreservation


    Transfered 2 "poor quality" embryo's on 6/17

    No frozen embryos.


    Beta #1 6/25 6. Chemical Pregnancy confirmed. Beta #2 6/28 -1
    Done trying

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  • hopeisnotdeadhopeisnotdead
    I am sooo sorry and I truly understand!!! I got pregnant from my live-in boyfriend who had given me a promise ring for Christmas... I was pregnant in March and he told me I needed to have an abortion and I refused so he left and told me how I was effing u
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  • sterpstra10sterpstra10
    Ugh...huge ((HUGS))...when we were trying for DS, my ex husband and his girlfriend got pregnant on accident - made me sick to my stomach and soooo mad!  There really isn't anything to say to make you feel better, IF is so unfair!
    TTC since 11/2009
    11/2010 DH SA good...01/2011 HSG is clear...01/2011 Consult with RE
    suprise BFP but m/c on 2/7/11
    03/2011 50 mg clomid=BFN
    04/2011 clomid+bromocriptine+IUI=BFP at 11dpiui
    Beta #1(11dpiui)=33, Beta #2 (13dpiui)=96, Beta #3 (20dpiui)=1910, Beta #4 (26dpiui)=20,134
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • kimberm0511kimberm0511 member

    Thanks for everyone's responses.  I am still feeling sick about the whole situation, but it is comforting to know that I'm not crazy for feeling this way.  It would probably be easier if they weren't so involved in my kid's lives - this is a

    TTC #3 (#1 for DH) since September 2011. DX: Unexplained infertility with possible cervical factor. May 2012 did clomid with IUI - BFN August 2012 IUI #2 w/ follistim/letrozole - BFN September 2012 IUI #3 w/ follistim/letrozole - BFN October 2012 IUI #4 w/ follistim/letrozole - BFN November/December 2012 IVF/ICSI #1 Retrieved 12 eggs, 8 fertilized. Transferred 1 beautiful embryo and 5 made it to freeze. Got my BFP! January 2013 u/s showed empty gestational sac. FET cycle April 2013.  Transferred 2 5 day embryos.  BFP!!!!!  2 heartbeats!!!!  EDD:  12/27/13
    Report Reply
  • tryingyetagaintryingyetagain member
    Ugh, that really does stink.  It's just more salt in the wound.  I'm so sorry.  I really hope your FET gives you that sticky little bean you've been waiting for!

    Me: 42. DH: 46.

    1st Pregnancy: MC, 11/19/00.

    2nd Pregnancy: DS born 04/10/06.

    3rd Pregnancy: CP, 03/11.

    4th Pregnancy: MMC, D&C 11/30/11, Genetic testing revealed Trisomy 4.

    5th Pregnancy: Ectopic, 2 doses of Methotrexate unsuccessful, surgery 4/10/12, right tube removed.

    Tried Letrozole January 2013-July 2013 (including 2 IUIs), all BFN.  After 2 1/2 years of trying for child #2, decided to "give up" after July cycle, based on AMA.

    August 16, 2013:  BFP our first month of "not trying!"  Still in shock.  Beta #1 (14dpo): 183.  Beta #2 (17dpo):  611.  Ultrasound 8/30/13: baby measured 6 weeks, 1 day, heart rate of 118 bpm! 
    Ultrasound 9/13/13:  8 weeks, heart rate of 176!
    Baby is due 4/26/14

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    BabyFruit Ticker

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  • 74dragonfly74dragonfly member
    I am so sorry.  Sending hugs.  Please remeber that them having a baby does not mean you wont.  Maybe your son will get TWO siblings, how cool for him would that be?  




    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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