Secondary IF
kimberm0511
member
Today is the second worst day of my 2IF journey.
kimberm0511
member
in Secondary IF
The worst day was my miscarriage. Today, I found out my ex husband and his wife are pregnant. I don't know why it hurts so bad. Maybe its because he adamantly declared he would never have more kids. I knew she wanted one. Who can blame her? But it hurts. It took everything I had to keep it together in front of them. It feels like someone ripped my heart out and knocked the wind out of me. I should have been the one to give my boys a sibling first. I've been trying for so long! I can't stand this. I really can't. Dh doesn't seem to get it and I wish he did. I want him to hurt like I do as bad as that sounds. I just want him to understand the pain of it all.
TTC #3 (#1 for DH) since September 2011. DX: Unexplained infertility with possible cervical factor.
May 2012 did clomid with IUI - BFN
August 2012 IUI #2 w/ follistim/letrozole - BFN
September 2012 IUI #3 w/ follistim/letrozole - BFN
October 2012 IUI #4 w/ follistim/letrozole - BFN
November/December 2012 IVF/ICSI #1 Retrieved 12 eggs, 8 fertilized. Transferred 1 beautiful embryo and 5 made it to freeze. Got my BFP!
January 2013 u/s showed empty gestational sac.
FET cycle April 2013. Transferred 2 5 day embryos. BFP!!!!! 2 heartbeats!!!! EDD: 12/27/13
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Re: Today is the second worst day of my 2IF journey.
Oh my, how extremely hard! I don't fault you for feeling this way at all. I can't imagine how hard that would be. I wish everything was different for you.
(((Hugs)))
BFP on Cycle 14--TWINS! Identical twin boys stillborn at 19wks(1/9/10)
3 break cycles; took clomid 50mg, BFP #2 Beta #1 35, Beta #2 338!!! Owen was born 2/11/11!
TTC#2: 4 cycles on clomid: BFNs
BFP #3: Cycle #5 100mg clomid; beta #1 21; beta #2 6=CP
Cycle #6 break cycle TTC no meds=BFN
Cycle #7: 150 clomid+ovidril+IUI=BFN (switched to RE)
Cycle #8: follistem+ovidril+TI=BFN
Cycle #9 Forced break due to cyst
Cycle #10 follistem+ovidril+TI=BFN
Cycle #11 follistem+ovidril+TI=BFN
Cycle#12 Forced break due to cyst, went on BCP; did repeat HSG, Saline U/S
Cycle #13 IVF: Follistim/Menapur ER 11-30 11 eggs, 5 mature, 4 fertilized and 3dt on 12-3; BFN
Cycle #14: IVF#2 lupron/follistim/menopur ER 1-22, 19 eggs, 14 fertilized, 5dt on 1-27, BFP!! beta 1: 63, beta 2: 119; EDD 10-15-13; 1 frozen embie
Sorry, I can't imagine, but understand why you would feel so sad. Hoping things turn around and you have your own happy news soon!
http://svendsenfamilyjournal.wordpress.com/
5/07 - DD conceived naturally cycle #1
8/09 - Started TTC #2
11/10 - BFP!
12/10 - MC (Chemical Pregnancy)
2/11 - IUI #1 with clomid & trigger = BFN
5/11- Switched to a Fertility Specialist, Dx with low progesterone and annovulatory, several rounds of
clomid = BFN's
4/12 - Exploratory Lap, Dx Stage III endo
5/12 - 7/12 - Lupron injections to suppress AF and reduce scar tissue
8/12 - Surgery to remove tissue, uterus and tubes clear!
9/12-12/12 - More BFN's!
1/13 - Referred to an RE
2/13 - IUI #1 with injects and new RE = BFN
3/13 - 4/13 - Break due to cysts
5/13 - IUI #2 with injects (125ml bravelle + trigger) = BFP!!!
EDD - 1/23/14
Rainbow Surprise Baby due 05/26/2017
A + Life
Me:24 DH:27
TTC #2 since August 2011
DX: Low AMH 1.79 Mildly elevated FSH 9.9
1 month of Letrozole, 3 IUI's with Letrozole, All BFN. 1 canceled IVF cycle, BFN.
May 2013 IVF w/ICSI #1.5: Start BCP 5/8 2 pills a day. Suppression Ultrasound 5/29. Begin Dexamethasone & Lupron Microdose 5/31. Started Gonal F and Menopur 6/2.
ER 6/12 13R,9M,8F.
5DT CANCELLED due to moderate OHSS
5DT UNcancelled due to embryos not being capable of cryopreservation
Transfered 2 "poor quality" embryo's on 6/17
No frozen embryos.
Beta #1 6/25 6. Chemical Pregnancy confirmed. Beta #2 6/28 -1
Done trying
11/2010 DH SA good...01/2011 HSG is clear...01/2011 Consult with RE
suprise BFP but m/c on 2/7/11
03/2011 50 mg clomid=BFN
04/2011 clomid+bromocriptine+IUI=BFP at 11dpiui
Beta #1(11dpiui)=33, Beta #2 (13dpiui)=96, Beta #3 (20dpiui)=1910, Beta #4 (26dpiui)=20,134
Thanks for everyone's responses. I am still feeling sick about the whole situation, but it is comforting to know that I'm not crazy for feeling this way. It would probably be easier if they weren't so involved in my kid's lives - this is a
Me: 42. DH: 46.
1st Pregnancy: MC, 11/19/00.
2nd Pregnancy: DS born 04/10/06.
3rd Pregnancy: CP, 03/11.
4th Pregnancy: MMC, D&C 11/30/11, Genetic testing revealed Trisomy 4.
5th Pregnancy: Ectopic, 2 doses of Methotrexate unsuccessful, surgery 4/10/12, right tube removed.
Tried Letrozole January 2013-July 2013 (including 2 IUIs), all BFN. After 2 1/2 years of trying for child #2, decided to "give up" after July cycle, based on AMA.
August 16, 2013: BFP our first month of "not trying!" Still in shock. Beta #1 (14dpo): 183. Beta #2 (17dpo): 611. Ultrasound 8/30/13: baby measured 6 weeks, 1 day, heart rate of 118 bpm!
Ultrasound 9/13/13: 8 weeks, heart rate of 176!
Baby is due 4/26/14