Attachment Parenting

Worried about constant comparison...

So my BIL and his wife said they'd have another kid when we finally had our first. Well I guess that's cool and all but all in all that's slightly weird to family plan around someone else's life.

So we were surprised with our pregnancy first off, and now they are 3 months behind us. This might be fun once the kids are older I'm just worried how this will all go with new babies.

I want to CD, EBF, and BLW... SIL, will likely start the kid on rice cereal at 4 months, use disposibles, and just do things conventionally.

I'm worried that if grandmas house has their babies crap food at it they will be tempted to share it with mine. They live right next to grandmas and we live an hour and a half away. So we won't be around as much. So all of her ways with be the "normal" ones and it's their second kid. So it's already been established.

I guess I'm just freaking out a little on how strange they will all think I am when a 3 month younger baby is eating food and I'm telling them no food just breast milk to my older baby.

Any positives to have close cousins??
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Re: Worried about constant comparison...

  • Yikes, OP, I have to agree with PP that you are coming across as super judgey and that your attitude is going to lead to problems with your ILs.  I would kill for my LO to have cousins close in age.  Why don't you just wait and see how things


     

  • I wouldn't worry about it.  All parents do some things differently.  Unless you encounter problems, don't create them ....as in unless someone gives you grief, it's no big deal that you will do things differently.
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  • I will admit I am a bit defense in my parenting choices. I'm definitely not trying to come across as judgy, and I honestly want any advice I can get to try and defuse this train of thought earlier than later. Maybe it's a lot of FTM in me being nervous

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  • Beyond what the other posters have said, this issue of different parenting styles is going to come up WAY before that, with any set of friends with babies you have.

    Everyone parents differently.  And that's ok.  Let them parent the way

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  • imageTiffanyBerry:

    Beyond what the other posters have said, this issue of different parenting styles is going to come up WAY bef


     

  • You're going to have this issue no matter what. Dd is 5 years younger than her cousin and they compare them all the time. We have completely different parenting styles as well which makes it even more fun. (aka I'm doing it all wrong, or so they say)</

  • Thanks ladies!

    I'll have to determine what my "line" is when baby comes.
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  • If you come at it like you did here, you will create a monster. Maybe it's just where Im at, but BFing isnt weird. Cloth diapering is interesting, but an admirable thing. No one has been all, "why does that 6 mo old have a piece of chicken???" They tho

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  • Don't forget that *maybe* one of these things might not work out for you once your LO is here. Sometimes things don't go as planned and you might need to go with the flow.



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  • I think that you will find that people will be curious about your way of doing things regardless of whether there is another baby around for comparison. If the grandparents don't know much about cloth, BFing, BLW, etc, they will want to know if they ca


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  • I'm sort of lurking from other boards, but I can speak to this post. My SIL and I have babies four weeks apart, mine being older. We have totally different approaches. Not only does she EBF her 3 week old, she still BFs their 18 month old simultaneously.
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  • imagetjkdlhb:
    Don't forget that maybe one of these things might not work out for you once your LO is here. Sometimes things don't go as
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  • Just within our siblings, LO was the fifth baby of 2012, and there's another on the way for this year. Lots of comparisons, but it also serves to remind grandparents how each baby is different. One of my SILs did cloth diapering, but used a service and al
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  • Chill. You are really over thinking this, especially if you're not going to be around them a huge amount of time. Be confident in your choices!
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    DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)

  • imagetjkdlhb:
    Don't forget that *maybe* one of these things might not work out for you once your LO is here. Sometimes things don't


     

  • imageEveryusernameistaken:

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  • How awesome for your baby that they will have a cousin so close in age!

    My son was born one day before my nephew.  My SIL and I are pretty different people and mothers but there hasn't ever been an issue.  We are just ecstatic

    Married 6/28/03

    Kate ~ 7/3/09 *** Connor ~ 11/11/10

    4 miscarriages: 2007, 2009, 2013, 2014

    *~*~*~*~*

    No more TTC for us. We are done, and at peace, as a family of 4.

    "Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.” — Charles Dickens

     

  • My MIL used to compare dd and her cousin. They are 6 weeks apart in age but my SIL have different parenting styles. When her daughter turned 2, they put her in a toddler bed right away and started potty training as well. I felt that when Lexie felt she

  • imageYellowLily2013:
    I'm worried that if grandmas house has their babies crap food at it they will be tempted to share it with
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  • I have this situation in my life. My son is one of 3 baby boys born in 5 months. The other two are second children, and mine is an only child. There are some comparisons on how they are being raised, i.e. one of the younger ones was turned forward faci

  • imageYellowLily2013:
    Any positives to have close cousins??

    You really cannot see any positives to

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  • imageoutnumbered:

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  • I haven't read all of the comments but I agree with PP that you are coming across self righteous and judgey. Andplusalso, you are kind of putting the cart before the horse here. Your kids have not even been born yet, don't borrow trouble before you have t
  • I do appreciate all the comments.

    Although I want to add that I am frustrated with BIL/ SIL for a lot of reasons. And they don't specifically relate to my question but definitely help explain why I came off as judgey.

    I really
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  • imagekbruington:
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  • imageYellowLily2013:
    imagekbruin


     

  • imageEveryusernameistaken:
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  • imageYellowLily2013:
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  • imagesalt78:
    imageYellowLily2013:</s
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  • imageYellowLily2013:
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  • imageYellowLily2013:
    imagesalt78


     

  • Regarding Puffs...

    I can't speak for everyone here, but at least with my friends and myself, Puffs are more of a "fun food".  Something to help them practice their pincher grasp and keep them from screaming their head off when they are waiti

    Married 6/28/03

    Kate ~ 7/3/09 *** Connor ~ 11/11/10

    4 miscarriages: 2007, 2009, 2013, 2014

    *~*~*~*~*

    No more TTC for us. We are done, and at peace, as a family of 4.

    "Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.” — Charles Dickens

     

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