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Crazy for wanting SSN?

jebretzjebretz member
in Late Term and Child Loss
Today I made it downtown to request the birth and death certificates.  While I was down there I decided to stop over at the social security office to see if I could get that process started too.  I told the guy I wanted the SSN for my children.  He asked how old they were and when I responded that they had died about an hour after birth he acted like I was insane for requesting them.  He said "well they aren't going to have them yet, did you apply for a birth certificate?" No "Im sorry" or even, "oh, let me see how I can help you", just plain annoyance that I was asking for them.  I almost went into a rant about how when you lose a child you want everything you can possibly get that shows they existed, but I figured it was a lost cause. 
TTC since May 2011
Provera x3 late 2011, no natural response. (Previous BCP for 12 years).
 Dx PCOS April 2012. 
Clomid x 4 - no response.
First FSH/Ovidrel cycle early Aug 2012 - 18 days of injections, slow growth, erratic estrogen levels, triggered Aug 21st. 
BFP Sept 4th and Sept 7th! 
 7wk US Sept 28th - triplets! 
Perfect triplets lost at 20 weeks due to incompetent cervix. Allison Grace, James Alexander and Colin Gregory forever in our hearts!  
IVF #1 10/11/13 -  canceled before retrieval.  
IVF# 2 11/28/13 - retrieval on Turkey Day! Hyperstim - no transfer
FET #1 2/4/14 - miscarriage @ 9 weeks (Trisomy 6) 
FET #2 6/8/14 - healthy normal baby! Due date 2/25/15
     Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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Re: Crazy for wanting SSN?

  • Poppy715Poppy715 member
    I'm so sorry. People can be so hurtful and insensitive. Is it just him you can deal with or is it possible to get another person's assistance? I'm sorry for his incompetence and lack of compassion. 

          THE DARK SIDE IT IS

     and GBCB

    image    


    BFP 8/2/12 EDD 4/9/13 Addie was delivered 1/4/13 at 26 weeks due to Eclampsia  

    BFP 9/15/14 EDD 5/28/15 Please be our R A I N B O W take home baby BOY
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    imageimageimageimage
    ~All AL always welcome~

     

     


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  • Bayberry12Bayberry12 member

    I'm sorry you had to deal with that.  You most certainly are not crazy for wanting everything you can get.  

    From what I have been through, it seems that most people like that are wrapped up in the "technical" part of their job and leav

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 

    BFP #1 Jan. 2011 - mmc Mar. 2011 
    BFP #2 Aug. 2011 - My sleeping angel Stella, born April 21, 2012 
    BFP #3 Nov. 2012 - mmc Dec. 2012
    BFP #4 April 2013 - mc May 2013
    BFP #5 Sept. 2013 - EDD 5.24.14
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  • Poppy715Poppy715 member
    imageBayberry12:

    I'm sorry you had to deal with that.  You most certainly are not crazy for wanting everything you can get. &n

          THE DARK SIDE IT IS

     and GBCB

    image    


    BFP 8/2/12 EDD 4/9/13 Addie was delivered 1/4/13 at 26 weeks due to Eclampsia  

    BFP 9/15/14 EDD 5/28/15 Please be our R A I N B O W take home baby BOY
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    imageimageimageimage
    ~All AL always welcome~

     

     


    Report Reply
  • sand&starfishsand&starfish member
    I'm sorry you had to go through that - a rant would have been justified! It's not crazy at all that you want one - it was so important to me to have one, because like you I wanted everything I could to prove he existed. I was able to do it by just checkin
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers starfishsanddollar.blogspot.com
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  • jebretzjebretz member

    imagesand&starfish:
    I'm sorry you had to go through that - a rant would have been justified! It's not crazy at all that you wan
    TTC since May 2011
    Provera x3 late 2011, no natural response. (Previous BCP for 12 years).
     Dx PCOS April 2012. 
    Clomid x 4 - no response.
    First FSH/Ovidrel cycle early Aug 2012 - 18 days of injections, slow growth, erratic estrogen levels, triggered Aug 21st. 
    BFP Sept 4th and Sept 7th! 
     7wk US Sept 28th - triplets! 
    Perfect triplets lost at 20 weeks due to incompetent cervix. Allison Grace, James Alexander and Colin Gregory forever in our hearts!  
    IVF #1 10/11/13 -  canceled before retrieval.  
    IVF# 2 11/28/13 - retrieval on Turkey Day! Hyperstim - no transfer
    FET #1 2/4/14 - miscarriage @ 9 weeks (Trisomy 6) 
    FET #2 6/8/14 - healthy normal baby! Due date 2/25/15
         Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    Report Reply
  • JennyLynneJennyLynne member
    I had a box to check on hospital paperwork, and it never occurred to me until now that I would want one. Now i wish I had checked yes. I don't think you're crazy at all for wanting a SSN. I'm so sorry he was rude to you *hugs*
    BFP # 1 11/2011, MC 12/2011 
    BFP #2 11/2012, Delivered at 21 weeks on 3/16/13 due to complications with bilateral renal agenesis. 
    ~~Missing Astrid Lynne~~
    BFP#3: 09/2013, EDD 5/14/14

    Lilypie - (9zLl)
    image
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  • XathXath member
    I filled out the SSN paperwork for Ellie before she died, but if I hadn't, we probably wouldn't have gotten her one.  Lots of really bad identity theft cases involve the identities of infants who died shortly after birth, and we didn't want to expose
    Lilypie - Personal picture Lilypie - Personal picture Lilypie - Personal picture 
     DS1 - 7/2011, DD 12/2012, DS2 - 4/2014, MMC - 12/2015
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
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  • WilliamandshawnnaWilliamandshawnna member

    I am so sorry this happened to you. I don't think you're crazy for asking. We hold what little we have so close to our hearts that everything is big.

    Is there another person you can talk to?

    HUGS

    Shawnna

    TTC #1 since 10/2010 RE consult 6/2011 PCOS (known) MFI IVF #1 w/ICSI 2/2012 BFP TRIPLETS our angels grew wings at 19.5 weeks 6.25.12 IVF #2 2/2013 Sono shows tissue Hysteroscopy needed Changing RE www.chasingstarsisbettertogether.com Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers ~~~all welcome~~~
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