My BFF is a Sanctimommy

bgf1

My bff is the stepmom of a 5 year old and its newly expecting. She quite frequently offers opinions on parenting and sees things as very black and white.

The other day she was talking to me about a mutual friend with a 5 and 7 year old and was quite critical of her decision not to go on a trip that involved leaving her kids for ten days. She kept pushing me for my opinion on this women. I finally said maybe she doesn't want to be away from her family for that long or maybe it isnt what she thinks is right for her family. BFF them proceeded to continue to blast this women for not going. I finally said that now since I had kids I feel differently about a lot of things than I thought I would before they were born. She proceeded to tell me her opinions wouldn't change after she had kids.

Anyway one of the things I have found hardest about parenting is how much others seem to judge your choices. I find her criticism of others including my own parenting choices really irks me. WWPD? Should I tell her this. Or should I leave out alone and let her see for herself when her lo arrives?

RondackHiker

I've kept my mouth shut in the past. Like my friend who talked about how easy it would be to leave baby and go back to work. She learned it wasn't easy.

I have a friend who expressed shock that I will come home and do ten to twenty minutes of

mrsrandom93

Honestly this is probably one of those things she will just have to wait and see for herself. I had a few opinions I swore would never change after I had N and no one else would have been able to convince me other wise. Plus if shes expecting you have

MrsCodeMonkey

I'd say let her find out for herself. I had certain opinions before I had kids and then felt crappy about it later. She'll have her "aha" moment. Trust me!

NotSharknado

I wouldn't say anything because when she pops that kid out she will soon find out that she didn't know what she was talking about. And you can sit back and enjoy it when reality gives her a slap in the face.

RondackHiker

Why does she care about this other mom taking a trip?

Libby1978

You could just tell her, "you really have less than a clue what you are talking about.  get back to me in a few months when that bun pops."

LuckyDad

Maybe she doesn't want to spend ten days on a trip with those people at that destination, and the kids are a nice excuse.

 

Is there a term for using your kids as an excuse to get out of things? Kidcusing yourself? 

EVA116

Just start dancing and when she asks what you are doing say ,

"practicing my 'told-you-so' dance" for when that baby is born."

 

:::in the style of Grace Adler::::

"told ya so, told ya so, told ya, tol

bgf1

Thanks for the feedback. It seems like the consensus is wait it out. That is what dh thought too. I am just still a bit po'd about the whole thing so the next time she brings something like this up I may just take the asking her why she cares so much

LaurelBee

bgf1:

Thanks for the feedback. It seems like the consensus is wait it out. That is what dh thought too. I am just still a

MrsT0514

LaurelBee:

bgf1:</stron

NerdyMama2

I hate how much mothers judge each other. If she's one of your good friends I would tell her.