Community› The Bump Message Boards› Infertility Veterans
Infertility Veterans
New Discussion

XP: My update **ticker and pregnancy update warning***

liz4pawsliz4paws member
in Infertility Veterans

I had my u/s and beta this morning. No beta results yet, but I can update you on the u/s at least.

I am 8 weeks today, and we saw that the 12mm empty gestational sac from last week  had grown to 24mm today and now has a fetal pole and yolk sac. However, no heartbeat. The OB said that we should see a heartbeat by now, however it's possible that due to my tilted uterus, it's just that the ultrasound can't pick it up. I'd buy into this theory except my betas and doubling time have sucked so bad up to this point that it's difficult for me to hang onto any hope at all anymore since clearly we aren't experiencing normal stuff by now.

He said that if my beta results come back under 10,000 today then we can call it over today. Otherwise, we wait it out for another week, have a final u/s and he will feel comfortable calling it one way or the other then. I figured we'd have closure today (and we might if the beta sucks) but sounds like we are in a holding pattern until next week. I can definitely do this for another week but it's hard!

I wish I could say I was hopeful, but I'm not. I'm so freakin' damaged at this point that hope scares the absolute crap out of me. I almost feel like I'm being toyed with. :(  I pray pray PRAY I'm wrong and next week we see a beautiful heartbeat. But I'm fully expecting my beta to come back this afternoon telling the final chapter to this story as a big FU, Liz.

There's my update. I want this to end positively like you wouldn't believe but I just can't get myself back on the hope-wagon. It kills me to see my husband have hope in his eyes again, because I know what it will look like when it's whisked away. I probably should talk to a shrink because I shouldn't feel this way, but I do. :( Thanks for listening, caring, and thinking about us and praying for us. 

************ Signature/Ticker Warning ************
 Me (32) DH (36) - Finding our way to baby #1
 Me: POF/DOR - AMH <0.16, heterozygous c677t MTHFR, insulin resistant and gluten intolerant
 DH: Severe MFI

 12/2/11 - IUI #1- BFN 
8/1/12 - IVF #1 - Zero response from max stims (600iu intramuscularly)
My ovaries are just for decoration

 12/6/12 - Adopted five embryos that had been frozen for over ten years!
 2/11/13 - DEmbryo FET #1 Thawed four, sadly two didn't survive. Transferred two beautiful blasts. 
 2/16/13 - First BFP of my life @ 6dp5dt! EDD 10/30/13
 3/27/13 - After beta and u/s hell, no heartbeat ever detected. D&C at 9w1d.

6/5/13 - Adopted four new embryos that had been frozen for seven years!  
9/12/13 - DEmbryo FET #2. Thawed and transferred two beautiful blasts
9/17/13 - BFP @ 5dp6dt! EDD 05/31/14
 9/29/13 - m/c @ 5w1d. :(

11/19/13 - DEmbryo FET #3. Thawed and transferred one blast from each batch. Wow!
 11/23/13 - BFP @ 4dp6dt! EDD 8/7/13
Beta #1 @ 13dp6dt - 522  Beta #2 @ 16dp6dt - 1373 
6w5d ultrasound showed one perfect baby with a beautiful heartbeat of 134bpm!

Snowflake baby is a girl! 
Our beautiful Snowflake girl arrived on July 22, 2014!   
 My embryo adoption blog: Wishing on a Snowflake
  
    image      image 
Report Reply to Post

Re: XP: My update **ticker and pregnancy update warning***

  • megs3084megs3084 member
    I just want to let you know I'm praying for you. Hugs!!!!
    "Everything will be alright in the end. So if it's not alright, it is not yet the end."
    Me:29 DH:29  TTC since 1/11 Dx: unexplained IF/early DOR/immune issues 
    Feb'12- July'12-testing(all clear minus slight arcuate ute), 3 IUI with clomid all BFN
    8/30IVF#1 Antagonist protocol- ER 9/11-8R, 7M, 5F. 
    ET 9/14 2 embies transferred. 1 10cell Grade 4, 1 8cell Grade 4. No frosties. BFN
    IVF#2 Antagonist protocol plus baby aspirin- ER 12/5-16R, 12M, 8F!
    ET 12/10 5dt! 1 fully expanded blast & 1 early blast. No frosties. BFN
    3/13 hysteroscopy & polypectomy, Consulted w Dr. Kwak-Kim.  
    DX: High NK cells, cytokines, DHEAs& PAI1;  hypothyroid, +APA, restricted bloodflow
    7/13 IVF#3 Long lupron protocol with PIO, Crinone, Prometrium, and vivelle
    (plus synthroid, metformin, baby asa, metanx, PNV, Vit E, D, calcium, fish oil, CoQ10, IVIg infusions and lovenox per Dr. Kwak-kim)
    ER 7/19 14R, 11M, 9F(4 natural fert, 5 with ICSI)
    ET 5dt 7/24 2 fully expanded blasts.  SURPRISE 3 FROSTIES!!!
    Beta #1 8/2 335!!!! Beta #2 829!!!  1st u/s 8/14 showed TWINS!!!!!
    11/11: TEAM PURPLE!!!!!
    3/21/14-L&W born at 37w via csection
    Here Comes the Sun Blog
    PAIF/SAIF welcome!
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • DoublePortionDoublePortion member
    I hate it for you that this is still dragging on!! It's better for you to be realistic than to keep getting your hopes up. Talking to someone is a good idea...you've just been dealing with so much! My prayers are with you & YH. ((HUGS))

    ***signature & ticker warning***

    Me: 30 ~ Stage IV Endo ~ AMH .38 ~ AFC 8
    AMH .97 as of 4/2012! ~ AMH 1.63 as of 4/2013!?!
    Him: 29 ~ perfect swimmers
    Laparotomy w/partial oophorectomy 8/2009 to remove cysts/endo.
    Stopped BCP 4/2010.
    Multiple clomid rounds from 11/2010 to 6/2011. ~ All BFN
    IUI w/clomid 7/2011. IUI w/clomid & injectables 11/2011 & 1/2012. ~ All BFN
    IVF:EPP 5/2012 ~ (4R, 3M, 2F w/ICSI). Both embryos txfrd. ~ BFN
    BCP to manage endo from 10/2012 to 12/2012.
    FET w/donor embryos #1: 10/2013 Cancelled
    FET w/donor embryos #1.2: 11/2013     ~ ET of 2 beautiful blasts on 11/27.
    Beta 1: 503(12dp5dt) Beta 2: 1035(14dpt) Beta 3: 3001(16dpt)     Beta 4: 8503(19dpt)
    Twins with an EDD of 8/15/14! Team Purple
    G&B born 6/30/14 at 33w3d via emergency c/s.

    If you're wondering about my avatar...it's a fried pickle chip shaped like a fetus!

    image

    image
    Report Reply
  • BzeetyDBzeetyD member
    I'm sorry you're still in limbo and I know from past experience how much it sucks. Know that I'm thinking of you with comfort and caring.
    BzeetyD = 38, Mr. BzeetyD = 44 together 12/02 married 9/08
    TTC #1 since 1/10
    DX: Unexplained/??? MFI issues

    Our lil' lost sparks:
    5w3d loss 7/30/10 - EDD March 2011
    8w loss 4/15/11 - EDD November 2011
    8w3d loss 8/2/12 - EDD March 2013
    4w c/p loss 10/29/12 - EDD July 2013

    Long story: trying on our own + testing testing testing with 6 rounds of Clomid, more testing, injectables + TI, laparoscopy - one tube blocked, 2 IUIs with Follistim...BFNs.
    RPL testing all normal, Karyotyping normal

    Moving on to IVF.

    IVF #1 April 2012 = BFN, IVF #2 June 2012 = BFP. U/S 7/23 = saw heartbeat but measuring behind. Follow up U/S on 7/30 - no heartbeat. D&C 8/2. Trisomy 12. IVF #3 Oct 2012 = Chemical Pregnancy

    Phone consult with CCRM on 12/12/12 - ODWU 1/4/13 - both tubes clear(!) - AFC 24, AMH 3.2, FSH 9.6, LH 5.4, E2 25. DH has high frag rate but improved!
    IVF #4 March 2013 CCRM. EP protocol w/ Menopur, Gonal-F & Dexamethasone. ER 3/29 & IMSI, PICSI. 43R 13M 10F 6blasts bio'd. CCS testing reveals 3 normals!!!
    FET 5/31/13 of 1 4AA blast - thawed and expanded. 4dp5dt BFP.
    Beta 9dp5dt = 181, 11dp5dt = 427. 1st u/s showed a healthy heartbeat! EDD 2/16/14

    After 4 years of hoping and heartbreak, our sweet little bean was born on 2/19/14
    We are so in love with her.

    "I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it."

    Everybody is welcome!!!
    Report Reply
  • hootie123hootie123 member
    Hoping and praying for a miracle for you.
     TTC #1 since 6/09
    Dx: PCOS and MFI
    3 IUIs, 4 IVFs = BFFN
      3rd RE: IVF #5/FET = BFP
    14dp5dt=1170 16dp5dt=2573
    1st u/s=    TWINS!
    It's a Boy and a Girl!

    Born at 34w3d! 
     

    Report Reply
  • lincoln79lincoln79 member

    prayers and hugs for  both you and your husband.

    none of this is fair in any way. 

    TTC #1 since 12/2010 DH: MFI, cancer survivor Me: Resected septate uterus, lap treated mild endo, tubes open, ovulate on own, autoimmune disease 3 Failed IUI's (2/2012, 4/2012, 6/2012) 
    IVF #1 August 2012. BFP! Beta #1 56.7 Beta #2 150 One baby, one heartbeat on 9/20/12! no h/b @7w6d. dandc @8w0d, 
    FET #1 December 2012, BFN
    FET #2 February 2013, no embies survived thaw
    IVF #2, BFP #2, Loss #2 March 2013, Scar tissue discovered, RPL testing,
    IVF #3, BFP #3, Loss #3 (twins) September 2013
    Hostile ute, moving onto Gestational Carrier!

    GC/FET #1 of 1 5AA blast and 1 compacted blast, February 2014, BFP #4 on 3/1/2014!
    6w u/s 1 bean with h/b of 145 bpm, 8w u/s 187 bpm
    EDD 11/7/14. Please, please, please stick little one!

    Praying unceasingly for a miracle. ALL welcome!

    image










    Report Reply
  • luvbostonluvboston member
    I am so sorry you are in limbo! Hugs and sending tps
    6 m/c
    Anovulatory cycles, increased Synthroid Diagnosed Sep 2010
    Natural cycle Dec 2010 BFP M/C 6 1/2 Weeks, D&E Jan 2011
    1 Clomid/Ovidrel BFN May 2011
    Natural cycle Aug 2011 BFP M/C 4 Weeks
    1 IUI Sept 2011 BFP M/c 7 weeks
    Provera Dec 2011 BFP M/C 3 Weeks
    DQ ALPHA HLA MATCH, High NK Cells Diagnosed Dec 2011
    IVF March 2012 BFP m/c 4weeks 5 days (IL, Prednisone)
    IVF#2w/DS July 2012 MEGA FAILURE BFN (IL, Dexamethasone)
    Diagnosed No real HLA Match, DQ Beta Triad, High TNF, Low NK Cells
    Oct 2012 Natural Cycle m/c 4wks (Lovenox, Prednisone) 
    Went to Beer Center- high tnf, low lad, implantation failure
    Nov/Dec 2012 LIT Treatment
    Dec 12 Humira
    Jan 2013 BFP
    Humira,LIT,Prednisone, Lovenox, IVIG, Baby Aspirin
    Miracle Born August 2013 Premature

    Yours doesn't have to be a sad story


    image
    image


    Lilypie - (ugiy)


    Report Reply
  • Lacyj67Lacyj67 member
    Hugs is all I got at this point! I'm do devastated for you and can't imagine that feeling of heartbreak over and over again! I'm sorry Liz no one deserves this.
    Me 34 and DH 39 married in aug. 2002
    Did 5 round of clomid 2010 =BFN
     High levels of NK CELLS DX sept.2012 DOR:# 0.02 
    IVF #1 May 2012  ER 4, EF 2, ET 2 =BFN
    MINI IVF Oct.2012  Cancelled 10-27-12
    Ivf #3 Antagonist Protocol April 2013
    Shared cycle..Donor cycled in July Got 12 eggs 9 fertilized and 8 frozen!!
    DE FET #1 Sept. 3rd 2013 FIRST BFP EVER 5dp5dt
    miscarried Sept 24th at 5 weeks 5 days
    Etopic  D&C and hysterscopy Nov 5 2013
    dx with pre genetic blood clotting dec 2013
    FET #2 Jan 31st  2014 
    Miscarried for a second time again at 5 weeks 5 days
    Currently fostering to adopt an amazing little 1 year old boy..P.J!
    FET#3  is Oct 29th 2014
    BFN on fet #3
    Last and FINAL FET coming JAN 28th 2015
    Everyone Welcome






    Report Reply
  • PrettyAccountantPrettyAccountant member
    Liz I am so sorry you are stuck in this holding pattern. I know you are not hopeful but there are many many women praying for a positive outcome here for you. You have been through hell with this and it is very understandable considering how tired and wor
    TTC 1/2010 DH Dx - Azoospermia 2/2011
    Hysteroscopy 3/2011 2 Polyps removed 4/2011
    DH on Clomid / Arimidex to address hormonal issues - Sperm found July 2011!
    IVF #1 September 2011 - ER 9/8/2011- 8R, 5M - icsi - 1 made it to transfer - BFFN :-(
    IVF #2 Lucky November 2011 - ER 11/25/2011 - 15 eggs!, 13 mature, 10 fertilized with isci - 7 made it to transfer! Transferred 1 - 8 cell and 2 - 7 cell. BFP!!!!
    1st U/S - Twins! 2nd U/S - 3 heartbeats!!! - HOLY COW!!!
    Prayers for our take home babies!
    2 babies born on 3/27/12 and lost. Last baby born on 3/29/12 and lost at 20 weeks.
    My angels grew wings shortly after birth.
    Ahava Raisel, Matisyahu Nissim & Zev Chaim - Mommy and Daddy will always love you.
    IVF #3 July 2012 - ER 7/17/2012 - 10 R. 5 F. 4 made it to ET
    Transferred 2 on 7/20/2012 no snow babies :-(
    Beta on 7/31/2012 = BFMFN
    A miracle gift expected to come to us through adoption around 9/2012
    Baby girl adopted - Birth Mother changed her mind and took the baby back
    IVF #4 October 2012 - New RE. Doing PGD Testing. 8 R, 7F, 2 made it to 5 day blast for PDG testing. Both Normal (Thank you G-d!!!) 1 boy and 1 girl
    transferred one beautiful 5day blast (girl)
    Please G-d the almighty one - let this be our take home baby!
    Beta #1 158, Beta #2 318, 1 Absolutely magnificent HB at 175! Thank you G-d!!!
    Baby Girl born August 5th. Thank you G-d for our precious miracle.
    AMA. PAIF & SAIF always welcome - I need all the prayers I can get!

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    Report Reply
  • Scoop77Scoop77 member

    Man, this is just the worst. I've been in a similar position and know first-hand the warring emotions of hope and fear. I'm so sorry you have to go through it.

    Report Reply
  • LaineyPaneyLaineyPaney member
    Oh Liz, I am so sorry that there is more waiting....
    image wedding countdown
    Report Reply
  • rockpaperloverockpaperlove member

    Huge hugs.  This seems like a cruel joke that must end - positively!  I am rooting for you and your little one.  You are so strong - keep it up and good luck!

    Countless BFN(s)
    Moving to IVF

    IVF1 (ICSI): Long Lupron
    6R. 3F. 3DT. 8Cell 1Grade 2Embies. 1Frostie.
    Beta 1/22: 14 Beta 1/24: 24 Beta 1/26: 28
    Round One Result: Chemical Pregnancy

    Pressing Forward

    IVF2 (ICSI/AH/ACU): Microdose Lupron Flare
    13R. 11F. 5DT. 2TFR'ed. 1Frostie.
    Round Two Result 4/30: Harsh BFN

    FET. 2TFR'ed.
    Round Three Result 6/25: BFN
    Where do we go from here?

    Moving forward with CCRM in 2013
    ODWU revealed blocked tube(s). Lap 2/15.
    Bilateral Tubal Ligation. Stage IV Endo.
    Finally some (tough) answers.


    IVF3 (ICSI/CCS): Antagonist with EPP
    13R. We have 3 CCS Normal Embryos!


    Lupron Depot: May 2013 to August 2013
    Long awaited FET on 9/3. 2TFR'ed.
    BFP on FRER 5dp5dt: IN SHOCK!
    Beta1 9/10: 152.7! Beta2 9/12: 378! Beta3 9/14: 1224! 

    1st ultrasound 10/1: TWO beautiful heartbeats!  Overjoyed!

    Report Reply
  • liz4pawsliz4paws member
    Thank you so much. I wish I could just hit a fast forward button and see how this ends instead of having to sit through the grueling torture. :( I'm okay with either outcome (who am I kidding?) but I just need to know already.

    ************ Signature/Ticker Warning ************
     Me (32) DH (36) - Finding our way to baby #1
     Me: POF/DOR - AMH <0.16, heterozygous c677t MTHFR, insulin resistant and gluten intolerant
     DH: Severe MFI

     12/2/11 - IUI #1- BFN 
    8/1/12 - IVF #1 - Zero response from max stims (600iu intramuscularly)
    My ovaries are just for decoration

     12/6/12 - Adopted five embryos that had been frozen for over ten years!
     2/11/13 - DEmbryo FET #1 Thawed four, sadly two didn't survive. Transferred two beautiful blasts. 
     2/16/13 - First BFP of my life @ 6dp5dt! EDD 10/30/13
     3/27/13 - After beta and u/s hell, no heartbeat ever detected. D&C at 9w1d.

    6/5/13 - Adopted four new embryos that had been frozen for seven years!      
    9/12/13 - DEmbryo FET #2. Thawed and transferred two beautiful blasts
    9/17/13 - BFP @ 5dp6dt! EDD 05/31/14
     9/29/13 - m/c @ 5w1d. :(

    11/19/13 - DEmbryo FET #3. Thawed and transferred one blast from each batch. Wow!
     11/23/13 - BFP @ 4dp6dt! EDD 8/7/13
    Beta #1 @ 13dp6dt - 522  Beta #2 @ 16dp6dt - 1373 
    6w5d ultrasound showed one perfect baby with a beautiful heartbeat of 134bpm!

    Snowflake baby is a girl! 
    Our beautiful Snowflake girl arrived on July 22, 2014!   
     My embryo adoption blog: Wishing on a Snowflake
      
        image      image 
    Report Reply
  • Mrs.McIrishMrs.McIrish member
    Hugs. Even though my torture was shorter lived than yours, I know how much an ending one way or the other is needed. This is insanely long to not know. T&PS that you will get an answer soon.

    TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
    DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
    5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
    OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
    DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
    DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
    CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
    DE IVF #3 1/14  ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d

    DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
    First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!

    K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days

    imageimage

    SAIF/PAIF Welcome


    http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com

    Report Reply
  • liz4pawsliz4paws member
    Thanks ladies. Beta just came in at 8661. Doubling time is 217 hours. The OB said that if it was under 10,000 today, this was over. But I'm still not ready to schedule a D&C yet. I just can't do it. I need to wait it out until next week's u/s. 

    ************ Signature/Ticker Warning ************
     Me (32) DH (36) - Finding our way to baby #1
     Me: POF/DOR - AMH <0.16, heterozygous c677t MTHFR, insulin resistant and gluten intolerant
     DH: Severe MFI

     12/2/11 - IUI #1- BFN 
    8/1/12 - IVF #1 - Zero response from max stims (600iu intramuscularly)
    My ovaries are just for decoration

     12/6/12 - Adopted five embryos that had been frozen for over ten years!
     2/11/13 - DEmbryo FET #1 Thawed four, sadly two didn't survive. Transferred two beautiful blasts. 
     2/16/13 - First BFP of my life @ 6dp5dt! EDD 10/30/13
     3/27/13 - After beta and u/s hell, no heartbeat ever detected. D&C at 9w1d.

    6/5/13 - Adopted four new embryos that had been frozen for seven years!      
    9/12/13 - DEmbryo FET #2. Thawed and transferred two beautiful blasts
    9/17/13 - BFP @ 5dp6dt! EDD 05/31/14
     9/29/13 - m/c @ 5w1d. :(

    11/19/13 - DEmbryo FET #3. Thawed and transferred one blast from each batch. Wow!
     11/23/13 - BFP @ 4dp6dt! EDD 8/7/13
    Beta #1 @ 13dp6dt - 522  Beta #2 @ 16dp6dt - 1373 
    6w5d ultrasound showed one perfect baby with a beautiful heartbeat of 134bpm!

    Snowflake baby is a girl! 
    Our beautiful Snowflake girl arrived on July 22, 2014!   
     My embryo adoption blog: Wishing on a Snowflake
      
        image      image 
    Report Reply
  • Mrs.McIrishMrs.McIrish member

    imageliz4paws:
    Thanks ladies. Beta just came in at 8661. Doubling time is 217 hours. The OB said that if it was under 10,000 today,

    TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
    DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
    5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
    OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
    DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
    DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
    CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
    DE IVF #3 1/14  ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d

    DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
    First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!

    K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days

    imageimage

    SAIF/PAIF Welcome


    http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com

    Report Reply
  • kflynn81kflynn81 member

    imageliz4paws:
    Thanks ladies. Beta just came in at 8661. Doubling time is 217 hours. The OB said that if it was under 10,000 today,
    Me: 33, Endocrine issues & FVL       DH: 32, Nothing 
    NTNP 2009-2012         TTC since 2012:
    • Clomid, 2 IUI cycles, and 5 IVF cycles = BFN
    • FET #1   August 2013 = BFP!     EDD 5/11/14
    • Jack dx at 19w1d with Dandy Walker on 12/16/13
    • Severe Pre-e /HELLP set in Jack born sleeping at 20w1d on 12/23/13
    • FET #2 --July 2014  BFP!  ---  EDD  4/5/15

    Jack has handpicked his sibling up there :)

    My blog about IF and loss ... Kate's IF Blog

            Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 

                                                      

                                                                              Lilypie Pregnancy tickers


                  Anniversary





    Report Reply
  • LaineyPaneyLaineyPaney member
    I'm so sorry.
    image wedding countdown
    Report Reply
  • brooklynesquebrooklynesque member
    I am so, so sorry you have to go through this drawn out and painful experience. I totally understand your need to wait for the next US ... hopefully it will give you some closure.
    Report Reply
  • Scoop77Scoop77 member

    imageliz4paws:
    Thanks ladies. Beta just came in at 8661. Doubling time is 217 hours. The OB said that if it was under 10,000 today,
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"