Sad Post :(

2MamazInSeattle

According to the ultrasound we got last night at the ER, our baby died on Monday at 15w4d gestation, we found out yesterday at 16w1d - it was a missed miscarriage (no cramping or bleeding)- the only way we knew is because of my at-home doppler.

I had a regular prenatal appointment last Friday at 15w1d and baby had a 138 heartrate and all was well. I was not obsessed with my doppler, but would check every few days for a few minutes, sometimes I didn't find it but had a pact with myself not to freak out and I didn't. After two days of not finding it, however,  I called the midwife to see if they'd check figuring I was just a crazy first-time mom.

The nurse nor midwife could find a hb. They brought in the ultrasound cart and baby was totally still. No movement. Because it was Friday at 5, I had to go via the ER for a formal ultrasound to confirm.(smallish hospital so it wasn't a bad wait).

My midwives were amazing, and their back-up OB called me before we left the ER and is referring me to an MFM (High Risk OB) at Univ. of Washington to do the D&E and also help with options for testing and finding a root cause. Miscarriage this late in the game is quite unusual, so there could be an identifiable cause. Of course we are prepared for if there are just no answers.

We plan to try again as soon as we are cleared, not to discount our little boy who we will always be sad about and miss terribley right now. I still feel like he is with me, even though I know he's not alive anymore. I'm glad I could see him on the ultrasound - just helped make it real and undeniable. We are just so sad, but also know the only way out of grief is to go through it. It will be a process.

I'm going to stick around and hope it's ok for me because I love this community and we still plan to be parents as soon as we can.

Jazibel

I am so sorry for your loss I hope that time brings you peace. I found a lot of support on the Bump loss boards ours was found at 13w. Take care.

ball.and.chain

Oh 2Mamaz, I am so, so sorry.  This is awful and heartbreaking.  Please be kind to yourself, give yourself time to grieve and don't be afraid to seek help if you need it -- it took therapy and Prozac to get me out of the hole.  Nothing I

healz413

I am so so so sorry to hear this. Sending you and your partner lots of love and support.

GoaliesWife123

I'm SO sorry to hear this...we are here if you need anything

trisholio

I am so very sorry to hear about your loss.  I know that no words right now can cure the heartbreak you must have right now.  Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers and as ballandchain said, be kind to yourself and don't hesitate to ask fo

JGY

My heart is broken for you both.  There are no words that can possibly make it better, but my hope is that you can feel your grief lighten ever so much by knowing that all of us will carry some of it along with you.

Sending loving thoughts y

Mystjava

Aww, my heart shed some tears when I read your news.  I am deeply sorry to hear of your loss.  I've hugged my little one and sent a silent prayer for healing and love to you both.  Remember and celebrate what you have. If you need a friend

firstcomeslove2013

I am so sorry to hear this. You are in our thoughts and prayers. Please take time to recover, be good to each other and know we are here!

mollykelley

2mamaz, I'm praying for you now and the loss of your precious baby boy. I am so sad and angry. I know how much love and effort you put into this pregnancy with your DE transfer. It just is not fair. Those words may not be helpful at all... What I mean is

clairmeij

I am very sorry for your loss. Sending strength and love.

firstcomeslove2013

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Know that there are a lot of us sending you love and thoughts. I hope that you and your partner find peace and strength during this time.

Manada

I am so sorry to hear this and sad and angry at the world for you guys and everything you have been through in this process. My thoughts and wishes are with you both throughout your grief and recovery periods.

Please let us know what you

LolaBelle515

I am so very, very sorry.

Please do stick around, ask lots of questions, and get any and all of the support we can provide. Sending you a hug. 

2moms2b

I am so sorry for your loss (((hugs))) my heart breaks reading this while I know it is no where near the pain you are feeling right now.  M and I are sending tons of healing thoughts and prayers.  Take all the time you need to grieve and feel

mwagner25

So sorry for your loss. You will be in my thoughts. 

mhkd042206

I am so very sorry for your loss.  I cannot even imagine the feelings you have at the moment.  I know your little boy will always remain close to your heart.  You are in my thoughts and prayers.

2MamazInSeattle

Thank you all for your kind responses and thoughtfulness. I will be around for sure, and hopefully pregnant again soon. Meanwhile I will continue to watch and learn from all of your journies!

songbird31

2Mamaz,

I am completely floored and utterly saddened by this news! I sincerely wish you and your partner comfort and solace at this time. Based on all that you've done to try to bring this baby into the world, I know that you and your partner ar

jennicole85

I'm so terribly sorry for your loss. We are sending healing thoughts through this heartbreaking tragedy.

Kingston54

I'm so sorry for your loss.

bundleoluv11

I'm so sorry for your loss two moms. I have been where you are I lost my son at 25 weeks and it was the sadest day of my life. so, please reach out to me if you need anything I will be here waiting!!