For Those Who Have Waited With Other Children

Rachel Sonnier

Hi,

I was wondering about the experiences of any of the moms here who went through the adoption process, while having other kids at home. We have been waiting since October and when we first started the process we explained everything to Cohen, who is almost 4. We told him that a new little brother, or sister, was going to be coming to live with us. We got a few books about how adoption works, and we have had some conversations to prepare him, and he seemed to be excited about it. When he asks questions, we try to answer them and when it comes up, we talk about it. We talked about the new baby, and being a big brother quite a bit at first, but not too much lately, as we are just trying to live our lives while we wait. 

However, in the past 2-3 weeks DS has been REALLY preoccupied with the idea of the new baby. He talks about it all the time, to anyone who will listen, and has started asking lots of questions. A LOT of questions, and he wants me to answer them over, and over again. He wants to know when the baby will be here, but I have no idea, so we tell him the truth, that we really don't know. This week when we were playing with his fire engines he asked me to pretend that I was his new brother. He must have dreamed about it last night, because this morning when he woke up, he made a b-line for the guest room/nursery, he looked in the crib and then he looked at me and said "Where is she? I thought the the new baby was here?"

I'm wondering if this is just normal second child/4 year old developmental stuff, or if the uncertainty, or some other aspect of the wait, is starting to bother him. Did anyone else go through this with their first child, during their waiting period? 

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Stacy092306

Our daughter is about 3 1/2 years old, and she asks lots of questions as well.  We are doing international adoption of a preschool age child.  Our daughter mentions her new sister at least three or four times a day and tells other kids she

Rachel Sonnier

Thanks ladies! I'm so glad to know that it is pretty normal. I think part of it might be that he is at an age now where he is more aware that other people have brothers and sisters. Of our close friends, two families dealt with IF and have twins and twins