Attachment Parenting

Sleep Training

I 'like' the AP facebook page and this article was posted today. It really resonated with me and helps to remind me that it's better to err on the side of love than not when making parenting decisions! I plan on bookmarking it and reading it when I feel overwhelmed or tired after a rare restless night from my 6 month old!!

https://thechickpeamamachronicles.com/2013/02/05/fromfordtosearsmyheartbreakingawakening/

Hopefully it displays correctly.. I'm bumping from my mobile!

Re: Sleep Training

  • thanks for posting - it resonated with me as well.  Kind of affirms the choices we've made so far. :)
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  • 1. You lost me at detached parenting. Come the *** on.

    2. Toddlers can play alone. My DD2 has never once cried to let me know she's awake...she perfectly content to hang out sometimes to get some downtime. Kids don't need adults in their faces all the time.

    WHat a ridiculous post. 

    ETA: while I have never left my kids for 4 hours without checking on them, I have let them play in their cribs/bedrooms. I hardly think encouraging independent play makes one an unloving parent. And I don't for one second believe her daughter called her on it...  

    "Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you've got about a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies. God damn it, you've got to be kind." - Kurt Vonnegut
  • Yeah... um, not so much inspiring as weird as hell.

    I let my kid play in his room for an hour on Saturday rather than nap. We needed a break, he needed a break. He really isn't traumatized by hanging out on his own for a while. I, however, check on my damn kid more often than every 4 hours.

    This is not a parent to be taken as a "how to".

  • There is something to be said for balance and following instinct.

    I let DD explore and play in a safe environment, but I also am there for cuddles and snuggles whenever she needs or wants them. 




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  • I feel like I read a different post - what was so weird about it?  She basically decided to change her approach when she felt her kid was too afraid to speak up because she thought her mom wouldn't listen. 

    I liked it.  It had nothing to do with not allowing independent play.

     But for a good laugh go read the original post, and the letter to dr. Sears in Huff Post, then read the comments...

  • imagetjkdlhb:

    There is something to be said for balance and following instinct.

    I let DD explore and play in a safe environment, but I also am there for cuddles and snuggles whenever she needs or wants them. 

    this.  i feel like she went from one side of crazy parenting to another.


  • imageRioG1978:
    I feel like I read a different post what was so weird about it?nbsp; She basically decided to change her approach when she felt her kid was too afraid to speak up because she thought her mom wouldn't listen.nbsp; I liked it.nbsp; It had nothing to do with not allowing independent play. nbsp;But for a good laugh go read the original post, and the letter to dr. Sears in Huff Post, then read the comments...


    I agree. I didn't think that now I shouldn't encourage independence once I read the article and am a little surprised by the comments. What I really thought was clear was how easily kids can pick up on and interpret parenting styles. It was a good reminder to me to always try to parent with love regardless of the advice of CIO, 'tough love', and the like that I may receive from others. This can all be done while still encouraging dependence and confidence, though.
  • Leaving your kid alone for 4 hrs is weird... and not cool.

    A pet-peeve I have is that if you have a cosleeper and a sling, you are AP-hardcore! It's more than that. Alot more. I kind of feel for blog poster. She sounds like she dives right into whatever she is reading. She doesnt sound super confident. 

    Her kid isnt being more behaved, mom has just eliminated what she considers bad. Not staying in bed is no longer a punishable offense, so she is better "behaved." I really hate the notion that AP makes kids act better. Mom just sounds like she is handling it better.

     

     

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  • imagethatoneredhead:

    Leaving your kid alone for 4 hrs is weird... and not cool.

    A pet-peeve I have is that if you have a cosleeper and a sling, you are AP-hardcore! It's more than that. Alot more. I kind of feel for blog poster. She sounds like she dives right into whatever she is reading. She doesnt sound super confident. 

    Her kid isnt being more behaved, mom has just eliminated what she considers bad. Not staying in bed is no longer a punishable offense, so she is better "behaved." I really hate the notion that AP makes kids act better. Mom just sounds like she is handling it better.

     

     

    It's not that the kids are "better", it's that you're no longer holding them to standards they are not capable of attaining. It's treating them in a developmentally appropriate manner. That's not AP, that's just common sense. Unfortunately that's in short supply in a lot of families, and it's the kids who pay the price.

  • DS naps from 2 until 4 every day, whether he actually sleeps depends day to day. That's where his toys are and as long as he stays in his room I don't really push him actually laying down. I do listen and check and if he sleeps later than 4 I don't bother him but otherwise at 4 I open the door and ask how his nap went. He doesn't seem traumatized or upset, usually very casual in fact.  I think it's because he knows I'm there if he needs me and he is fine playing interdependently.  

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  • My kid plays alone sometimes.
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  • imageElbug:
    I liked it. I don't think the point is about leaving a kid alone to play. For me the point is her child was supposed to be sleeping but wasn't tired so she sat and stared at the wall for 4 hours because she knew that even if she cried her mom wouldn't come in the room. Thats really sad. I'm surprised by some the interpretations - interesting how people read things differently

    But you're assuming she made the cognitive leap that "if I cry, mom won't come in anyway so I might as well just sit here." I don't think she did that. I think she was probably just perfectly content to hang out. My kids do it all the time. They talk to their lovies. They roll around. It doesn't mean they've given up on me. 

    "Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you've got about a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies. God damn it, you've got to be kind." - Kurt Vonnegut
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