Settling in

flerlgirl

So today we finally talked about DH going back to work. Josh will be in the NICU until the end of May so DH has to go back sometime. I am dreading it. Partly because I like having him there with me. He is the one who knows all the terms and machines and numbers. 

But the main reason is that I don't want us to settle into a routine. Routines are good. But if DH goes back to work and if we get into a schedule, that makes it too real. Right now I can pretend that this is only going to last for a few more days. Denial is not just a river in Egypt. But when we get into a routine it will be way too clear that we are there for the long haul.

Thanks for reading my rant. Have a cookie!

 

flerlgirl

Thanks. I normally like routine... maybe it will make me feel better. Who knows? DH's schedule is good, at least - he works 7-4. So he could spend a lot of time in the evenings. It'll be a lot for him but that's better than nothing, right? Just one of those things. This is fun. 

But seriously thanks for your response! 

pathfindermon

Do you have anyone else that can go to the NICU with you?  The days that my husband had to be with clients and couldn't work from the NICU, one of my parents would come with me.  There were some days that I was there alone and yes it sucked, but it wasn't as bad as I expected.  Somehow, you find a way to make it work.  Also, I brought things from home for myself- a blanket, book, my laptop, bills to pay, etc...  It made me more comfortable and the situation less scary.

Hugs- I hope the time goes fast and your lo is home with you soon.

vsalt31

I was one of the few who chose to go back to work for 44 days while Ds was in the NICU. My boss was awesome, and I really didn't want to use my maternity time. So DH I got up at 5am, got to the hospital by 6:30. Stayed until about 8am. Left for work. Got out of work around 5pm, went back to the NICU until about 8 then went home. Oh I also exclusively pumped too. It really worked for my family. I'm not someone who can just sit around watch the clock. Good luck in your decision.

cottingham3

Hugs for you!!

We are on day 74. I could not survive with somewhat of a routine...but I does make it a semipermanent part of your life.

To share somethong I have only shared with my husband...I actually dont like the rest of our family to visit while I am there. I want them to visit and talk with him...but I kinda feel like they are stealing my time! He is supposed to still be only mine.. in my belly! Also, my kids can only see him through the window becaus the unit is closed for flu and rsv season. I don't like our parents and granparents bonding with hin when my kids cannot and we cannot bond as a family. Maybe in the only one who feels this way.

Hugs as you make this transition. This journey is full of transitions. As you feel you have some stability...its time to change. BUT, we have to remember no matter how hard this time is...it is ONLY temporary!

Again HUGS to you!

DrRx

I know how hard it is.  For us, we had a routine from the get-go and based it on her "Hands On" time--the times we were allowed to interact with her.  I enjoyed some of my alone time with her when we would do Kangaroo time.  I also brought my laptop and phone, and I had a TV in her room, so it wasn't too terrible.  DH took a couple of weeks off after she was born to help me with my c-section and pumping, etc, and then used his paternity leave time when she came home. 

jbranden12

I get it. Our new routine has made the last nine weeks feel like one day and forever at the same time. I can't even remember our lives before Anna. We are lucky to be in a NICU with all private rooms and we can room in, but it also means DH and I take turns and we have only spent two nights together over the last nine weeks. 

flerlgirl

We do have some stuff from home for him - one nurse goes all out and coordinates his hat with an outfit and blanket so he looks fashionable My mom, dad, sister and SIL all visit throughout the week so I won't be alone. I don't mind being alone, though; I can read for hours and I like reading to Josh. I just hate that this is our life now... but I also love seeing my boy. 

For those of you who are or have been there, I feel for you! I'll be praying for each of you and your LOs. Thank you for the encouragement.