Alright, so here is my situation.
All of my friends/family WANT/EXPECT me to have a shower. However, I'm not sure there is anyone to throw it but myself. My In Laws are out of the question. They offered to host my wedding, which resulted in my DHs grandma deciding I was the devil and turning his family against him and I that day. She has had long standing issues with what they all believe to be bipolar, and the family has since come around to be happy I am in the family. (All except grandma of course, DH wont even speak to her after that blow up) Even though the family has come around DH and I do not feel comfortable with any of them throwing another event.
My family is spread out all over the place. Having them host it would be impossible with the distance.
Our friends are all in tight money situations, and in no position to host a shower.
However, every single one of these family/friends can not stop talking about and asking when we are going to do a shower. I personally don't love being the center of attention. I tried very hard to find ways around physically walking down the asile myself at our wedding with no success, just don't like attention. However, I know how much my family and friends would all love for us to have one. We already are not finding out the sex, and keeping name choices to ourself, so I feel like a shower would be at least one way to make everyone feel a little involved.
Also I have no desire for gifts. At all. The DH and I have just about bought everything we will need, including cloth diapers to last forever and wipes to last forever. However, every one is unresonably determined to buy us/this baby something. Which I am grateful for, don't get me wrong. However, since I am most likely going to be the one throwing the shower, how do I make it not tacky? I don't even need any gifts, but would like to have the event since they all want it so bad.
I know I just wrote a novel. I apologize. Thanks, if you read it all. Any advice?
Re: Curious and in need of some advice.
If anyone asks about a shower you say "" Thank you for asking but we won't be having a shower."
If they push you can simply say " I am not comfortable with throwing that kind of party for myself" and change the subject.
Ditto this....
I agree with PPs. Just let people know that you haven't heard anything about anyone hosting a shower, but you're looking forward to them meeting the baby after he/she is here.
You can always host a meet the baby party after LO is born if you want to get together with people, and you can let people who are pressing for a party know that you plan to invite them to this.
Maybe it is different by area, but it seems here it is very common to throw your own shower. I don't remember the last time I have been to or heard of a shower in my area being thrown by someone other than mom to be. I know that is far from how tradition of baby showers goes. I'm just stuck.
Would it be wrong to pay for the shower myself, and just let someone else take the creidt? My mother breify mentioned helping me throw a shower. Her and I are very close. Though, I know she is too busy with my siblings who are 4yrs old and 1yr old to plan the entire thing. She is 36, I am 19, I was unplanned, they were planned. Her and I are more like friends now, then mother/daughter.
It's still rude to invite people to buy you a gift. Save your time and money to buy what you need for baby, and anyone who wants to buy you a gift will find a way to get it to you.
We're not suggesting you don't do it because it would be a waste, we're suggesting you don't do it because many people find it rude (even if they won't admit it to your face). It sounds like you really want to throw the shower- so throw it and know that some people will be judgey about it, or tell people you're going to host a meet the baby party instead.
Oh no, as I said I really don't like being the center of attention.
Someone asked why I would consider wasting money on it, and I was just giving my reason for considering it. I like to make friends/family happy. Although, the responses here have made me further believe I should do what I prefer and not throw one, rather then give in to them wanting me to have one and pay for it myself. I agree it is tacky. I was just feeling pressured by friends/family to throw it myself.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.