Honestly, I feel like I have no control in this area.
He hasn't napped on his own in 2 years. He will nap at school, of course and sometimes when he falls asleep in the car. My 2 year old dd doesn't nap on her own either, so I get no break.
I've tried to do quiet time with ds. I did the quiet time boxes with different stuff in it. I've tried music with snacks and books. I've tried demanding it. I've tried a timer. Nothing works. He comes out 5 minutes later and says he's all done. I don't want to lock him in like friends have suggested because I don't think that fosters a good feeling about quiet time.
So, any help for me? I really want them to have some quiet time without it being in front of a screen.
Re: How do you get your kid to do quiet time?
Instead of napping, quiet time is when they are in their rooms and don't come out until prescribed time is up. They can read, play quietly and listen to music but they aren't to come out.
My friends seem to replace nap with quiet time, but I can't get them to want to do it.
"no you're not, I will let you know when quiet time is over. Until then you have to stay in your bed/ room"
It seems like one of those things that you have to be consistent about and be clear that there is no choice involved.
DD1 had quiet time for about a year and a half. She had to stay on her bed and could play quietly with some toys, read books, play on her leapster or sometimes I would give her the iPad. She's not allowed to get up until I tell her. Now that she's almost 5 she is very good about it and I don't really enforce a quiet time unless she's having a rough day. When her sister takes a nap she just does her own thing and I do mine, it's almost as if she does it on her own now.
I felt it was important for her to have some down time even if she wasn't sleeping. From ages three to four and a half her attitude was always much worse on days she didn't get her time. sometimes she would even fall asleep on her own for 30 minutes or so.
It's so they rest quietly for an extended period of time and so, quite honestly, I get a break. Them not in their room means them interacting with me, each other, fighting eventually and getting up from what they are doing after a bit.
They don't play quietly....lol.
I try to tell him he's not done, to listen to the timer, but it eventually becomes a fight with him throwing a fit. My 2 year old doesn't even understand staying in her room at this point, but if I could get one of the 2 to do quiet time, it would help. They get no rest and I really could use a break by the afternoon.
I don't have a quiet time, but mine are at an age where they'll disappear to the playroom for an hour and play "family" or to the basement and push eachother on the swings or something, so it's easier for me now. But I have some thoughts...
1. What about removing all screen time during the day except for quiet time?
2. A "Time timer" You set it for the #minutes and as time passes, the amount of red decreases, and then when the red is gone, time is up.
3. If you really forsee it going on for years, try enforcing 15 minutes and letting him out every day after 15 minutes for a week. Then increase til 20. Let him have faith that he's not in there indefinitely.
4. I moved a traintable into DS's room because he wakes at 530. Heeeck no. So instead of fighting it, I put a traintable in his room and gave him permission to flip on the light and play as long as the first # on his clock said "5" After a week of success, he started sleeping until 630. I think he was stressed out about not knowing how long he had to lie there. Once he knew he could get up, he stopped doing it- LOL.
I will have to give it a try again and set the time for like15 minutes and build up from there. They get a bit rough around the edges if they don't rest.
So when he throws a fit does he then gets his way? If so you're reenforcing that throwing a fit is an effective way to get what he wants. If he throws a fit just tell him that his is not a choice, and put him back. After a few days of consistency he should get it. I'm on mobile so I can't see how old he is exactly but I assume over 3 which is plenty old enough to understand rules. You're the parent, you set the rules.
With your younger DD, can you lay down with her for a while? I did this with DD2 for while until she got the hang of things. For a while I didn't have to anymore but now that we moved I have to lay down with her and rub her back a while.
He's 4. Yeah, that was my struggle. Do I force him, so he doesn't learn that fits get his way. But that ended up with me holding the door closed near the end of the fit and that seemed counterproductive to quiet time. "You'll do quiet time, dammit!!!!!" lol He can be very stubborn when he's feeling forced. So I might have to start with short time and build up.
I can lay with dd and see how that goes.
Lol! While my older DD has never given me issues in this area, she has in others when she feels forced. I hope the building up time thing helps!
Late so hopefully you'll see this but with my DD two things helped:
1. the choice is either quiet time or nap time. If you can't stay in your room and play quietly by youself then it's lights off and in bed and no play.
2. Removing tv privilege is highly effective with my kid, as long as I have the strength to enforce it Don't stay in your room, no toons.
I saw it! I'll give that a try. No tv would be frightening for him!