IL involvement...

JaysonandKristin

Just curious about your family dynamic.

Did you marry just DH or was he a package deal with his family?

How about the same question from DH's perspective?  Did he marry just you or are you a package deal with his family?

Does your situation appeal to you or are you constantly butting heads with the opposite side of the family?  How about DH? 

betsy538

Did you marry just DH or was he a package deal with his family? Kind of a package deal for me, I'm very close with his family (have been since we started dating March '04)

How about the same question from DH's perspective?  Did he marry just you or are you a package deal with his family? It's a definite package from my family too.  But DH gets along great with them.  He's very close to my grandma on my mom's side, which is cool.

Does your situation appeal to you or are you constantly butting heads with the opposite side of the family?  How about DH? We rarely ever butt heads, my SIL can be quite dramatic at times.  When she found out she wasn't a bridesmaid in our wedding she didn't talk to me for a long time...funny story, it was DH that made that decision. 

JaysonandKristin

Did you marry just DH or was he a package deal with his family?

I definitely married his family, and he definitely married mine.

Does your situation appeal to you or are you constantly butting heads with the opposite side of the family?  How about DH? 

I love our family dynamic.  I try to stay out of others' business, and they do their best to stay out of ours.  Sometimes, it's inevitable, we end up not getting along.  Jay's pretty much a hands off, go with the flow kind of guy.  He lets me make all decisions with regard to my family, and I follow his lead with regard to his family.

 

bundymommy

JaysonandKristin:

Did you marry just DH or was he a package deal with his family?

I definitely married his family, and he definitely married mine.

Does your situation appeal to you or are you constantly butting heads with the opposite side of the family?  How about DH? 

I love our family dynamic.  I try to stay out of others' business, and they do their best to stay out of ours.  Sometimes, it's inevitable, we end up not getting along.  Jay's pretty much a hands off, go with the flow kind of guy.  He lets me make all decisions with regard to my family, and I follow his lead with regard to his family.

This is pretty much us, too. I love my inlaws, and DH gets along really well with my family. My mom and stepfather just bought elk hunting trips for stepfather, my brother, and DH to go on together this fall. DH's sister is going to college in CA so we don't see her as much. She is also four years younger than us, where my sister and brother are much closer in age.

NotSharknado

Dh's and mine are a package deal. We love hanging out with each others family. We don't just see each side on holidays. Every other weekend we are hanging out with someone from the family.

No real drama to speak of. I do wish his parents were more like the kind of grandparents that enjoyed their grandkids, but they just aren't. My kids don't have my parents either so MY grandparents see the kids at least twice a week. They are very involved.

Monsieur_et_Madame_Ha

Did you marry just DH or was he a package deal with his family? I would say I married just him. Doesn't mean his family isn't part of our life, but our marriage really is about me and him (and now the kids) first.

How about the same question from DH's perspective?  Did he marry just you or are you a package deal with his family? It's more of a package deal for my family, that's for sure. I think we're just closer knit. 

Does your situation appeal to you or are you constantly butting heads with the opposite side of the family?  How about DH? The only time we ever butt heads is at Christmas. Both our families have a tradition of doing Christmas Eve dinner, and the logistics kills us every year. But seriously, it's the only time in the whole year that there are any issues, so I can't complain.

The rest of the time, we pretty much drop by FIL's every time we visit my parents.

Duffgurl

Did you marry just DH or was he a package deal with his family? DH has cut ties with his mother and father. Only speaks to his nephews and niece. Also one of his sisters. I do love his family but sometimes it is best to cut ties with people even if they are family.

How about the same question from DH's perspective? Did he marry just you or are you a package deal with his family? Just me. I have been on my own since I was 18. I cut ties with all my family except my Dad but then again that situation has gotten worse since his health is not the best and he can't speak for himself anymore.

Does your situation appeal to you or are you constantly butting heads with the opposite side of the family? How about DH? Nope we have tried to work relationships out but in the end they are the same. We are just fine without them. Dont get me wrong I miss that family closeness but sometimes its just not there.

melissa0726

Did you marry just DH or was he a package deal with his family?  How about the same question from DH's perspective?  Did he marry just you or are you a package deal with his family?

Our families are definitely a package deal, for both of us.  We're very close with our parents and my siblings.  Not so much DH's sister, but that is by her choice.  She just doesn't seem interested in having a relationship with us outside of family obligations.

That said, our needs and feelings come first for each other, and our families come second. 

Does your situation appeal to you or are you constantly butting heads with the opposite side of the family?  How about DH? 

DH is super close with my parents and siblings,and he loves it.  He has told me that he loves that he is close with my siblings in a way that he isn't with his own sister.  We have always socialized with my family several times a week, frequently at DH's suggestion and coordination.

I love my ILs, and generally have a great relationship with them.  We used to see them socially (meaning not holidays or family get-togethers) once or twice a month; although DH talks to them on a daily basis for work. 

I do feel that my relationship with my ILs (mostly MIL) has become strained since DD was born, and, that seeing them with an increased frequency feels like an obligation.  This has been somewhat tough to handle, as I'm just still not used to having them so involved on such a constant basis, if that makes sense.  It is tough on us because she is their only grandchild and they just want to see so much of her - not that I blame them!

Rachey1082

JaysonandKristin:

Just curious about your family dynamic.

Did you marry just DH or was he a package deal with his family? I would say it was a package deal. But, more so after we had kids.

How about the same question from DH's perspective?  Did he marry just you or are you a package deal with his family? He says package deal. He's sitting here eating leftovers while we watch Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives.

Does your situation appeal to you or are you constantly butting heads with the opposite side of the family?  How about DH? I'm fine with his family. His sister and I have gotten into it a few times. She called Liam, "delayed" in a very aggressive manner when she was trying to get me to get him tested for Autism. I basically haven't been able to share anything with her since. I just feel like I'm being judged. 

DH gets along really well with my dad and highly respects his advice. However, he fights with my mom. But, in his defense, my mom fights with EVERYONE. She used to fight with my dad's parents all the time. They're dead now, so she fights with my DH. Fun fun fun.