Two Under 2
jaymiegerard
member
Anyone NOT think 2u2 was hard?
jaymiegerard
member
in Two Under 2
Just curious if anyone on here feels like having 2 under two wasn't that hard? My kids will be 21 months apart. I'm assuming it will be hard. Just about everyone tells me it will be really hard, at least at the beginning, but I began thinking that SOMEONE must have not thought it was hard, right?!
:-) If it wasn't hard or wasn't THAT hard for you, how far apart are you kids? Did anything make it easier?
Thanks!
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Re: Anyone NOT think 2u2 was hard?
Just like when you had the first, things will seem hard and then they will be your new normal. I didn't find them that difficult until they both could walk. Now, they are so sweet together, but I deal with fighting. It changes.
I wouldn't change a thing though and if I weren't so old (sob), I would've had a third that would've been spaced the same.
I think everyone has a different definition of hard, so what might have been hard for me would have been easy for someone else or vice versa. I think it depends a lot on the personalities of the parents and the kids.
I do think 2u2 is hard, but not so hard it wasn't worth it. We go through stages and phases where it gets easier and harder, but I think you can say that about any age gap. I definitely think it's harder in the beginning and it will get easier as they get older. Mine are 19 months apart, and both were fairly easy babies, but DD2 is becoming a much needier toddler. I think 2u2 would be harder with her than it was with DD1, so we won't do 2u2 again.
DD1 Feb 2010
DD2 Sept 2011
I didn't think that it was hard. It was easier than going from 0-1, IMO. My girls are 16.5 months apart. There were no jealousy issues. DD1 wasn't overly interested in DD2, but she liked her. I wore DD2 a lot, so we still did all of the activities that we used to do, park, zoo, play dates, etc. I should disclose that I really love the newborn stage.
Things became harder for me once DD2 was walking. Then I had two toddlers, who were destroying my house, every time I turned around. They can also both throw tantrums, fight over toys, and your oldest might stop napping. On the positive side, it's amazing to watch the girls play together. The love each other so much and they have the cutest personalities.
i wouldn't say it's hard overall. of course, there were hard times like ds cutting his one year molars the week dh went back to work and the first few outings alone with both were challenging until i got the hang of it. i think the overall experience was manageable though. my view of this is likely very motivated that i don't need a lot of sleep to function, my youngest was/is the happiest child, and my son wasn't a challenging toddler. if i were dealing with colic and ds was at a difficult stage, i may have had a different view.
things that helped were to always think two steps ahead. i prepped as much as i could for the day when dh was still home from work. prepping meals for my toddler was a huge help since they'd naturally both be hungry around the same time. minimizing the crying minimized my stress levels so being able to quickly pull something out of the fridge to get ds when he was hungry worked. i'd sit at the kitchen table and feed ds while dd ate. i kept the rooms we frequented stocked with supplies for both kids--diaper changing supplies in the rooms we spent our time in, toys/snacks/water/books next to the chair i fed the baby in, etc. i think i wouldn't have survived without my baby carrier. being able to hold my baby when she needed snuggling while still being able to sit and play with my younger child was huge and helped prevent resentment.
For the me the anticipation of 2u2 was WAY harder than actually having 2u2. My 2 are 13.5 months apart. It was rough in the beginning because DS was born a preemie, spent time in the NICU, had major health issues for the 1st 6 months. After we got him under control, the rest just seems so easy. I don't think this is hard. We have some hard days for sure, but overall I really love it! I wouldn't have changed it and whenever people ask me if it's hard I say not really.
I always wondered if I was crazy because I didn't think it was as hard as some ladies have said it was/is. Don't get me wrong, it isn't a walk in the park, but it's certainly not impossible.
This exactly, except mine are 15.5 months apart. Definitely think 0-1 was the hardest!! But both of my DDs were/are pretty easy babies. They have their moments, of course, but overall they are much easier than DS was!
I don't think 2u2 is all that difficult. I think any age gap is going to have challenges. My girls are 18 months apart and I thought it was pretty easy in the beginning. DD2 is just starting to walk and have opinions but even then it's not too challenging. In fact, I love having the 18 month age gap so much I'm on track to have my 3rd when DD2 is 19 months!
LIKE agree with the others, going from 0-1 was much more difficult than 1-2.
everyone scared the crap out of me when I was pregnant with #2 (they were 21 months apart) on how hard it was for them. it was mostly complete strangers in target or at the mall telling me how hard it was blah blah. My husband and I agree going from 0-1 was much harder!
You will do great mom, try not to stress
my read shelf:
The first 6 months was really hard but after that it has been a blast (with some bad days...) DS had reflux, hardly napped and I was still figuring out how to handle everything. Once I got both on a schedule and he could sit up and play life got a million times easier.
I haven't read all of the responses, but I found that it hasn't been as hard as I *expected* it to be. I stressed for the last few months of my pregnancy...thinking that there's NO WAY I could do this...
Mine are 20.5 months apart, and while the initial sleep deprivation was magnified since I couldn't simply "sleep when the baby sleeps", it really hasn't been that bad! I made my first venture out of the house with both for DD's 1st pedi appt at 1 week old! YES, it took for.freaking.ever. to get ready to leave, so my best advice is to give yourself DOUBLE the time you usually take to get out of the house for a long while (DD is 6 months and it STILL takes forever!) Try to keep #1 on their schedule as much as possible, and realize that both of them at different times are going to want your attention and simply can't have it. Screaming/tantrums will ensue, but it will pass! Seriously, the expectation has been much worse than the reality, but I know I'll never be "that Mom" that has her shiit totally together and can take her 4 kids grocery shopping without a giant clusterf**k! LOL
DS LOVES DD, and that helps and is the sweetest thing. GL Momma!
lurker*
I LOVED having my boys close in age. First two 23 months apart, then 17months apart, then 14 months apart, when my last child was born my oldest was 4.75 yrs.
Physically demaninding but beautiful in so many ways. I was able to be a SAHM and it worked out really well. I went back to work outside the home when my youngest was 3.
I wanted my children close and was blessed it worked out that way.
Healthy and Happy baby mommy to you!
We will NOT be having a third. The sooner I can get to the other side of this nonsense, the better. I do actually love my kids, I promise!
Obviously it really depends on the temperament of both kids, but I would say this also really depends on mom's personality as to whether it's hard or not. There have seriously been times the last couple of months that all I can do is just drop to my knees and cry with both my kids. But my personality is a lot more uptight and always wanting things to be perfect. I would think that for the type-B, go with the flow person, those moments wouldn't be quite as difficult.