Want to try to have another baby, know we're not ready..

palma44

I am really ready to try to conceive again but I know we are no where near ready, mostly financially, It is so frustrating to be ready but not be able to start trying due to finances but I know having out finances in order is the best thing for our family, but I hate hate having to wait due to our finances, i wanted our kids close together and I really don't like that w have to changed our family plans due to money. Can anyone relate or have any advice? 

palm513

I have heard that if God cared what your financial status was as much as we do NO ONE would have children. 

If you really want to have another baby you will find away to support it, and if you start ttc there is no way of knowing if you will even get pregnant in the next year.  

Follow your heart.  

meglette417

I don't know if there is ever a good time financially to have a child unless funds are unlimited.  I would agree that there are ways to set yourself up to be a a better situation (job, stable home, etc.)  I also think though that having kids closer is cheaper, your car seats have expirations so if you have your kids too far apart you may need to buy double of certain things.  Our house is 2 bedrooms, the market stinks, we would like to move before #2 but we won't put our family on hold if it doesn't work out.  We can manage and many of people did before us and turned out fine.  Don't stress it too much kids=money no matter when you have them.

casester1015

I don't know if this will help your situation, but I'll share what my husband and I did. My husband and I both worked. Since we got married we lived only on one income, mine (which was less), and we put his entire paycheck into savings.  We lived below our means so we could save up money so when I got pregnant I could stay home with the baby. I had our daughter a little less than 2 years after we got married and I am able to stay home now 1) because we know we can live on one income and 2) we have a financial safety net if something big happens. Your goal may be different, but if you are able to live below your means it will help you reach your financial goal faster.

Some general money saving tips (not knowing what your current situation is) get rid of cable. A digital antenna is around $40 and a one time purchase. If you need more stations, a digital Netflex subscription is $8 a month. Coupon and shop sales. If you color/highlight your hair stop. That saved me $90 every 6 weeks. Make sure you take advantage of credit card reward points for gift cards. They could be used for big box stores or pharmacies like CVS where you could do your grocery shopping. These are just some ideas.  Good luck!

ASmallWonder

palm513:

I have heard that if God cared what your financial status was as much as we do NO ONE would have children. 

If you really want to have another baby you will find away to support it, and if you start ttc there is no way of knowing if you will even get pregnant in the next year.  

Follow your heart.  

Yeah this advice is horrible.  There's a big difference between having to take hard look at where you're spending your money and sacrificing/cutting back to make it work and "We literally can't pay all our necessary bills on our pay."  If your housing, food and transportation costs (and daycare, assuming you use it) use all your money or exceed your pay, there's no "making it work."  You flat out don't have the money.  OP, we had to wait to TTC - our kids will be 3 years apart and even at that, we are in the "prioritize our spending" camp.  You want to be able to enjoy the family you're building, not spend all your time stressing about money or not seeing them because you and DH have to take on other jobs just to afford them, kwim? 

FemShep

OP, what does your partner say?  Whatever decision you make, your partner should be completely on board with it. 

FWIW, I would love to have another baby, but we wouldn't be able to manage financially with two in daycare.  It's painful, especially because it means we may never have another (I'm 40, so we don't have a ton of time), but I would rather make sure the family I have is well-taken care of. Finances do NOT just work themselves out, and I want to be sure we can retire, help our girls out with college, and have an occasional vacation. As much as I might want to be pregnant, having another child would put all those things in jeopardy.  

KristenS09

palm513:

I have heard that if God cared what your financial status was as much as we do NO ONE would have children. 

If you really want to have another baby you will find away to support it, and if you start ttc there is no way of knowing if you will even get pregnant in the next year.  

Follow your heart.  

I agree with this. DH and I were not what most people would consider "financially stable" when we had DD but we just adjusted our spending and are making it work. Granted we don't go on fancy vacations, drive expensive cars or live in a big apartment but we have what we NEED.  I don't know what your exact circumstances are but I wouldn't let just money determine your family size.  i don't know anyone that says "wow we have so much money we don't know what to do with it, lets have a child"

beany02

We are going through the same thing. I have been thinking about another baby a lot lately but we have to wait until we buy a home and get our finances sorted out. We are ok right now but another baby would really stress our finances and honestly the stress would make life miserable. If everything goes according to plan, we will start TTC around Thanksgiving. But i definitely think you should have some kind of plan. Sure, maybe you will find a way to support another baby. But what if you dont? Take the time to come up with a plan and a timeline. Then you have goals to meet and something to look forward to, and you will feel like you are actively working towards another baby instead of missing out on having one right now.

stemms8810

We are in the same situation right now.  We are waiting to have another one when I get done with school.  I will be going full time for 2 years which means I will not be working.  We will be missing a chunk of income.  We don't want to try to have a baby right now but it would be sooner than 2 years from now if I weren't going to school.

Unfortunately, I think a lot of people are in this boat right now.  Babies are expensive and I would rather not be a stressed parent with 3 kids just because we couldn't wait a while longer.  Children will always make your budget tighter.  This can be upsetting to plans you have but I feel better knowing we are planning wisely.

megann831

I've also heard, you always find away for it work.  When we owned a house and had no kids, it never felt like we had extra money.  Then we had a baby, I stayed home for 6 months and then we had to send her to a sitter, it still didn't feel like we had extra money.  then we had another baby, I stayed home for another 6 months and now have 2 kids in daycare, and it still doesn't feel like we have extra money.  Other than lifestyle changes because we have kids, our lifestyle has never changed because we have less money, although we've never lived too extravagantly. 

I see 1 side of it, really looking at want you spend and taking a chance, as long as you have money saved, and assuming it will work.  We did that with DS, but were lucky enough to refinance during that time, and it's been ok.  I would kind of like to have another, but, aside from the fact that DD can be rather high maintenance and I still often spend more time holding her than the baby, I know there is no way we could afford 3 in daycare or to loose one of our salaries, so if we do go for another, we'll have to wait until next summer and I can plan on returning to work after DD is in kindergarden.  I'm also not comfortable going back to work after 6 weeks, especially since I spend 6 months w/ my 1st 2.  If you work do you have enough time saved for another maternity leave?