I'm tired.

technigirl

Just a warning this is going to be a complain-y sort of post.  

I'm tired.  

I'm tired physically.  It's not so much a lack of energy as plain old sleepiness.  I fall asleep all the time (my desk at work, at home watching a video with my daughter on the couch).   I don't ever seem to get enough sleep.

I'm tired mentally.  Last night my daughter had 2 timeouts in less than 3 hours.  Then she peed on the couch.  Mentally, sometimes I just feel like I've had it.  I know she's only 2 and I need to be patient and understanding with her, but sometimes I snap at her or raise my voice more than I want to, and then I feel like a horrible mother.  Last night was one of those nights. I went to bed crying and feeling terrible about everything.

 It feels a bit like PPD is creeping up on me again and I haven't even had the baby yet. Many days just feel like such a grind.  I hope it's not PPD already (or maybe that would be Pre-PD?).  

And have I mentioned I hate being pregnant?  Now my feet are starting to swell up and I'm worried the preeclampsia will come back.  I'm being proactive by monitoring my own BP and weight, but I know in the end there's nothing I can do to stop it.

Thanks for listening!

Melissa

 

danuli8

technigirl:

Just a warning this is going to be a complain-y sort of post.  

I'm tired.  

I'm tired physically.  It's not so much a lack of energy as plain old sleepiness.  I fall asleep all the time (my desk at work, at home watching a video with my daughter on the couch).   I don't ever seem to get enough sleep.

I'm tired mentally.  Last night my daughter had 2 timeouts in less than 3 hours.  Then she peed on the couch.  Mentally, sometimes I just feel like I've had it.  I know she's only 2 and I need to be patient and understanding with her, but sometimes I snap at her or raise my voice more than I want to, and then I feel like a horrible mother.  Last night was one of those nights. I went to bed crying and feeling terrible about everything.

 It feels a bit like PPD is creeping up on me again and I haven't even had the baby yet. Many days just feel like such a grind.  I hope it's not PPD already (or maybe that would be Pre-PD?).  

And have I mentioned I hate being pregnant?  Now my feet are starting to swell up and I'm worried the preeclampsia will come back.  I'm being proactive by monitoring my own BP and weight, but I know in the end there's nothing I can do to stop it.

Thanks for listening!

Melissa

I don't blame you one bit for complaining. My daughter peeing on the couch would have put me over the edge, that's for sure. And being constantly sleepy yet never really being able to just lie down and shut out the world (because you still have to take care of your daughter) just plain sucks. Does your DH know how strung out you feel? Can he help you more somehow? Is there anyone else who can jump in and help you out a little--even come just once for two hours to watch your DD so you can let go and have a nap? It sounds to me like you are just plain out of gas and need someone to step in for an hour or two and let you catch your breath. I'm sorry things are lousy right now.

technigirl

I'm not sure if he knows.  I have told him how tired I am but I'm not sure he really gets it.  I may have to be more clear about it I guess.  I think "out of gas" accurately describes me right now lol.  He did offer to let me spend a night in a hotel by myself.  Maybe I should take him up on that.  I haven't yet because I feel like I only have a small amount of time left with just me and my daughter, and I don't want to miss any of it.  Maybe I could take a day off of work and do it though - then I'd only miss seeing her in the morning, and I usually only see her for 15 minutes or so before I leave for work. 

Thank you for listening and being so understanding!

ShellBear+

I'm sorry it's so hard for you right now. I am so tired too and I don't even have another kid to take care of. Do not feel guilty and ask your DH for more help when you need it. I think it's a great idea to take a day off and have time to yourself.

As far as ppd I hope you have a plan with your doctor now since it sounds like you have dealt with it in the past. I hope you feel better soon.

AmyM72

Just wanted to say sorry you are having a hard time, and it does sound like you could use a well deserved break.

danieleandwayne

I'm so sorry you're feeling so run down. Exhaustion is no joke and it sounds to me like you definitely should take DH up on the offer of the hotel for a night with a day off from work to just relax and recharge. You will have time with your DD after the baby comes; you'll just have to plan it well and wait until the newborn is a couple months older.

I have found that men don't get what we consider pretty direct communication about how worn-out we are. For MH, i literally have to be in tears for him to understand that I'm not just saying the words to hear myself talk or to vent a little. If I'm bawling and just a wreck, he finally "sees" and "hears" it, since I am not usually that dramatic. And that kind of bites because that dramatic behaviour just makes my pregnancy congestion and headaches worse-- plus it means that I'm at the end of my rope, when maybe he could have helped out/stopped his shenanigans sooner so that I didn't get to that point in the first place.

Hang in there and be blunt with DH about what you need from him. You, the baby, and your DD all are worth it!

technigirl

Thank you so much ladies.  Well, this weekend I did inform DH that I am burned out.  He responded "I could see that" and went back to his computer or whatever.  So I am still not sure he is really getting it.  Maybe, as Daniele said, I actually need to be in tears and screaming this at him for him to really get it.  That said, he did take care of waking DD up early this weekend for daylight savings (a whole other subject, but whoever invented Daylight Savings time clearly did not have babies/toddlers).  I will keep trying though.  Thanks again for listening.

danuli8

technigirl:

Thank you so much ladies.  Well, this weekend I did inform DH that I am burned out.  He responded "I could see that" and went back to his computer or whatever.  So I am still not sure he is really getting it.  Maybe, as Daniele said, I actually need to be in tears and screaming this at him for him to really get it.  That said, he did take care of waking DD up early this weekend for daylight savings (a whole other subject, but whoever invented Daylight Savings time clearly did not have babies/toddlers).  I will keep trying though.  Thanks again for listening.

So he can see it, but is too much of a jerk to do anything about it?? I want to smack your husband upside the head. Men can be so dense sometimes. Maybe tell him some specific things that you need him to do? "Honey, I am totally burned out and I need you to do (specific task A), (specific task , and (specific task C) for (specific number of times/specific period of time), okay? If you don't do these things I am going to end up (specific scary result). Look me in the eye and tell me you will do this stuff because I really need you to help me."