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Blended Families
fellesferie
member
FFFC/vents/open letters
fellesferie
member
Dear DS,
I love you, but holy crap do you drive me nuts. You are SO BRIGHT--why don't you put any effort into anything? It breaks my heart when I see you get a concept, and then just let it go. It's almost like you actively resist absorbing anything.
Your three-year-old sister picks up by accident most of what we're trying to drill into your skull.
If we don't see some improvement soon, you're going to forget what an electronic device even looks like.
With all the love in my heart,
Your mother
Dear DD,
You have control issues.
I love you,
Your mother
my read shelf:
This discussion has been closed.
Re: FFFC/vents/open letters
Dear Self,
Stop being a hypocrit and get over the irked feeling you have that suddenly after 11 months of being active in the PTO,BM and her DB H have discovered the PTO.
Just be happy for the kids that so many adults are trying to be involved.
Please at least call your kids. Its been going on 4 weeks. I realize in your mind you only feel the need to show up for holidays but the length of time between Valentines Day and Easter is unacceptable for having zero contact with your kids...especially when you live in the same town. Your kids love you and they need their mom. I can do all the mom things but I cant ever take your place. It pains me to see them hurt and to see them question their self worth because you don't care to reach out to them. Please don't keep stringing them along. They deserve better.
Sincerely,
SM
P.S. You really are missing out on some great kids.
I don't know why I expected you to actually show up this weekend. You always have some reason to bail on the kids and I. You are lucky I try so hard to facilitate a relationship between you and my kids, because I would really like to tell you to stay the fuuuck out of our lives.
Dear J,
I love you, but you have control issues. I'm not going to do exactly what you want me to do at all time. I have my own brain, I make my own decisions. Please work on understanding my need for independence inside this relationship.
Dear Brother,
Stop hanging out with my XH. You hated him when we were married, why are you being nice now?
Dear BM,
Now that DH is laid off, we are not able to bail you out financially anymore. We need the money from the car that YOU were responsible for and WE had to pay for to buy our house 5 years ago, and we need it NOW. We also cannot do anymore of your driving. Gas is expensive and we can't afford it. Speaking of gas, you still owe us over $100 in gas money, and we need that too. We are not your personal ATM. Get it together.
Thank you,
Tired of Waiting
Dear SD,
Steal from me again and you will find out real quick who has been making all the good stuff happen for you. I am not going to bend over backward for you if that is how I get treated.
Regards,
Disappointed SM
Dear BM,
DH is one of those rare dads that has never missed a child support payment, goes to all school activities, conferences, games, etc and yet you still try to put up barriers to prevent him from having a relationship with his son. You constantly imply that he 'just started being a dad' when in reality he has for the past 10 years. The reason he didnt see SS for a year was because he was deployed and serving his country. You were the one that prevented him from seeing SS on his leave and then blamed him. You are still holding a grudge against him for 'being stuck with his kid,' when he had no choice in leaving. All DH is asking is for an extra hour out of your 26 days you get with SS to take him to opening day of baseball. SS had a great time last year and now you are preventing him from going out of spite. Do something nice for your son and let him have fun wih his dad.
A frustrated SM
Dear DH,
I'm so proud of you in that no matter how many barriers BM puts up, you still fight the good fight to be a part of SS's life. He is so lucky to have you, as am I. Hang in there. One day SS will realize how much you put up with to be in his life.
your loving wife
Dear Me,
Stop letting BM's behavior affect you. You can't change the fact that she sucks and will never recognize how lucky she is to have a father for her son that really cares.
Me
Dear Lavender P,
Your situation isn't rare. Lots of us are in the same boat. Hope your SS and H get to go to the game.
Signed,
Person in the same boat
Dear SD17,
GL with your new job! I hope it goes well!!!
Love,
So happy for you SM
Dear me,
Get pg already!
Love,
Tired of trying and almost ready to give up
So this used to be my letter....
Now it is this....
Dear BM,
I am so sorry that your years of maternal gate keeping, drama mongering, cash begging, denial of phone calls, visits, dinners, keeping the kids away from their Dad at ECs, leaving of public places if Dad was there, etc. were fun for you. Watching you revel in it was repugnant, but we still did it. I am sorry you no longer have the chance to do those things, because you now have two teens who hate you, that you cannot stand due to their self centered, disrespectful and entitled attitudes, and who are disconnected from their Dad. That must suck. Sleep in the bed you made....and consider perhaps trying to be a better parent and seeing if you can repair any of the damage you have done. Did you think YEARS of telling the kids how awful their Dad and I are, how boring we are, how much they should hate us, would not eventually reap your reward? I get that you are now SHOCKED that the kids don't want to come here "to give you a break". But what can you do differently to facilitate the relationship, instead of continuing to destroy it while crying about not getting your way? Time to change your game.
Me
Confession:
I watched a documentary about being vegan. I wish I didn't now because I can not eat meat. I am now almost vegan. I do think it's a good thing but the FFFC part is I wish I didn't see it so I could go back to eating a steak without thinking about it.
Dear BD,
A few inches of snow is not a reason to cancel your visit 6 hours ahead of time! You live around the corner and have an SUV. You only see dd for 1.5 hours per week as it is and the snow is supposed to stop by early afternoon. You seriously use any excuse you can think of!
You never fail to amaze me,
-K
Confession: I'm taking DS shopping tonight to get pull-ups for night time and big boy undies for the day...my Confession part? Daycare potty trained him for me and I'm totally ashamed of it. I tried with DS slowly, and honestly thought he just wasn't ready, apparently I wasn't doing it right. Bad momma.
Dear DH,
I am tired of you being a lazy bum. I understand you work nights, but that is not an excuse to do NOTHING at home. You are LAZY. I may be a SAHM, but I am a FT student in an accelerated program to finish my bachelor's degree in 15 months. That is A LOT OF WORK, and I am almost done. I also care for SS and DS by myself with NO help from you. What happened? Why have you checked out? We need you. Quit being a selfish jerk. Remember that I gave up my career as a chef in a big city for you and SS, so we could live in this hell hole of a tiny town next to your CRAZY mother.
Your not so loving wife.
SS,
The temper tantrums over having to go to bed, potty, or anything you do not want to do are driving me crazy. I am trying my best to juggle everything. You also need to start following directions at home and school. You are so far behind when compared to other kids your age because you refuse to give it your all. Please start trying! I love you and will always be here for you. I'd walk through fire for you, and I promise I will never abandon you.
P.S. You are improving in soccer, and I am so happy you have stuck with it.
Your loving and tired (step)MOM
DS,
Please for the love of everything sacred start sleeping through the night in your own bed. While you are at it... give up the boob. I am ready to wean you and you are not. I love you SO much. I am soooooooooooo tired. Also, I am sorry I can't stop laughing when you throw yourself on the floor in a tantrum. I love that you are back to giving me lots of kisses!
You make my day brighter!
Your VERY tired Mama.
BM,
I feel sorry for ALL of your children. You have abandoned all three of them. You are the prime example of "Any woman can give birth to a child, but it takes a special person to be a MOM". I hope burning through men and partying have made your life complete. Please fall off the face of the earth. SS doesn't know you, and it would be great for him to completely forget you ever existed.
Hopeful
Thanks ladies. I feel bad every time someone else teaches DS how to do something, I internalize it as *I* should've taught him that and failed. Still working on that. It really does take a village.
Dear DH and BM,
Just because you only have SD for 50% of the time doesnt mean you can only do 50% of the job and that goes for both of you!! Stop constantly dropping the ball and expecting everyone else (ME) to pick up your slack! Also for the love of goodness BM please just come clean with whether or not you believe SD is really DH's because he thinks about more than he admits and its already too late for there not to be extensive damage done to all parties so you might as well just be honest!!!!
Sincerly,
Tired SM
Dear XH,
Stop causing drama when there really shouldn't be any. Who cares that someone *may* have compared your GF to a horse on FB? I'm quite certain that you have made negative references to me and FI. DD will not be removing her FB just because you demand me to delete it. Stop being jealous of the time that FI spends with DD. I have offered you extra time with the kids and you ignore the offer. Heck, you can't even keep them the length of time specified. Also, stop favoring DD over DS. Some day they will notice and you will have to explain. DS has Bipolar and Asperger's NOT the plague. I wish you would sign over rights, the only thing you are good for is health insurance.
PS: Karma is going to kick your A$$ next week. Since you and your attorney did not notify support collections when divorce was final, my attorney did so on your behalf. Guess what? Support collections will have no knowledge that you paid me child support. They will be garnishing your wages for 3 months of support. Good luck trying to straighten that out. Maybe your horse-faced GF can help. Oh, and while I'm at it, I will be violating you regarding the dental insurance you should have acquired. You will be getting a bill for $1,000 and my attorney's fees.
(Gosh, that felt good, thanks for letting me vent!)
But it seems the bad comes in droves. Sometimes I wonder if I can handle this career. I find my morals conflicting with demands of the job sometimes. And I find my heart getting way too involved.
At the same time, I see people who no longer have any heart involved and see that they have lost their compassion. I do not want to lose that.
I need to learn to balance this soon before it really messes up my head and my future in this career.
Dear BM:
It's time to put up or shut up - either you're quitting the PTA because I'm going to be President or you're not. Just pick one so that we can all move on and focus on next year already. All you're doing is pissing everyone off. And while you're at it, stop pulling K out of school early on your days just to avoid seeing me. What are you teaching your daughter by doing that? You're 30 years old, start acting like it.
Sincerely,
Beyond tired of your childish games
Dear DH:
Quit complaining about how fed up you are with BM's behavior and do something about it. If you're not going to contact your attorney about K being late 4 days a week, getting pulled out early, missing several days for nonexistent fevers, etc., then shut up. By not seeking legal reprimand for her actions, you're essentially condoning BM's behavior.
Oh, and will you please for God's sake take PJ for awhile? She's teething and driving me nuts and I need a break. And a beer or 6...
Love always,
Your wife who is on the verge of draining a tequila bottle
Dear Kids (DS, DD, K and PJ):
You know I love you. I really do. But you are all driving me bonkers and if you don't stop I'm going to lock you all in a room together and whoever survives will be the only child in this house.
All my love,
Stressed out frazzled Mommy
Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Weight Loss Tools
Wow 2chatter I wish our BM could read that. Wow.
My fffc sorry it's late is Bm and women like her make me understand how people can want to walk away from kids. I work in child welfare so that is an amazing thing for me to feel but at some point I can see how people would say enough is enough.
Thankfully my Dh is the best dad in the world and pulls me in when I feel at my wits end but seriously the way some people use children to manipulate, humiliate and denegrate other people is mind blowing. You almost feel like everyone including the child is better off if you never deal with each other again