I'm sure it's different for everyone, but DD2 is 4 weeks old now and DD1 (22 months) just started to get jealous this past week. It's like she finally realized that when DD2 cries it means less attention for her. It doesn't help that DD2 is growing increasingly fussy.
ETA: After the reading the other posts, I should add that it's also true for us that DD1 doesn't "blame" DD2. She just throws a fit when we can't pick her up when we're carrying DD2 around to soothe her and gets upset if she feels like we're paying too much attention to DD2, but she's upset with us, not DD2.
BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
BFP2: 3/18/12, blighted ovum, natural m/c @ 7w4d BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence
Mine are 19 months and 8.5 weeks. DS1 still loves DS2 and thinks he is the coolest thing ever. I mean he goes crazy every time he walks in the room and sees him, screams his name excitedly, claps his hands, etc. He does get upset sometimes when he wants attention or interaction and I'm feeding the baby or something and cant do what he wants. But he never (at least not yet) has made the connection to blame the baby if that makes sense. He's sad that he isn't getting the attention he's seeking but in no way does he get mad at the baby or seem to think it's the baby's fault. The baby is the bee's knees over here still.
DD is almost 20 months and DS is 3.5 weeks. She loves her baby brother....always tries to cover him with a blanket, give kisses, sings and talks to him.
However I will say that just this week, she has been throwing some mega tantrums! She desperately wants mommy to pick her up more often, especially for things that she enjoyed doing on her own before like going up and down stairs. She has also started to take the baby's pacifier and sit in his bouncy seat...when he isn't of course!
So I think that jealousy has started to set in. She still interacts with her brother, but is demanding much more time from me now too.
Honestly, for me it didn't get hard until my DS (younger child) got mobile. My DD wasn't overly excited about her younger brother (no clapping or squealing or wanting to be with him every moment like some toddlers) but she wasn't jealous of upset either. Essentially, he didn't exist to her until he started approaching her toys and trying to get into her stuff.
Then we went through the period that I call the "dark ages" because my kids fought like cats and dogs for about 6 months. I couldn't leave them alone because they were always crying and fighting (as much as a 6-12 month old and a 2 year old can "fight"). Let's just say my DD didn't appreciate him then.
Now at 3.5 and 2 they are very close and love each other and play very well. Things are MUCH easier. So.. I do hope your honeymoon lasts forever, but if it doesn't, it is okay. I have a feeling that siblings have relationships that are like seasons. They change. All the time. Nomatter what .
Married 6/28/03
Kate ~ 7/3/09 *** Connor ~ 11/11/10
4 miscarriages: 2007, 2009, 2013, 2014
*~*~*~*~*
No more TTC for us. We are done, and at peace, as a family of 4.
"Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.” — Charles Dickens
Mine are 16 months apart. At first DS didn't really know what to make of her. 45 months on, he was suddenly jumping back and forth between loving and hating her but mostly loving her, with short bouts of jealousy. A few months later once they could interact more, they were good friends. Now they are rest friends and MDS makes sure that DD is always included in everything and that if he gets anything, he asks on her behalf as well to make sure she gets as well, which is very sweet!! One of the major reasons we're having all of ours so close together we're expecting number three in sept is precisely to avoid the jealousy we hear about with kids farther apart in age...
i've had 2u2 for 26 months and there still hasn't been a period where ds got jealous/didn't interact positively with his sister. of course at three and two they have their tiffs but the majority of the time they play nicely together.
Mine are 16 months apart. At first DS didn't really know what to make of her. 45 months on, he was suddenly jumping back and forth between loving and hating her but mostly loving her, with short bouts of jealousy. A few months later once they could interact more, they were good friends. Now they are rest friends and MDS makes sure that DD is always included in everything and that if he gets anything, he asks on her behalf as well to make sure she gets as well, which is very sweet!! One of the major reasons we're having all of ours so close together we're expecting number three in sept is precisely to avoid the jealousy we hear about with kids farther apart in age...
that's funny you've heard that. from what i've heard/seen is that kids closer in age usually experience more jealousy since they tend to compete more. kids further apart in age have different interests/are at different levels and therefore less opportunity to compete. a nine year old playing little league is unlikely to be jealous/compete with their 4 year old sibling in t-ball, kwim
i really think sibling relationships are mostly due to temperament with some parenting thrown in there. my kids rarely fight and i think it's due to their personalities meshing well together. i've met plenty of kids closely spaced who were constantly battling and plenty of kids further apart who get along well/aren't jealous at all.
Honeymoon lasted until DD2 became mobile and started interfering with DD1's toys/ activities. :-). Even then DD1 learned that if you gave DD2 something else both could be happy. Now DD2 is 15 months and knows DD1's tricks. She will put up a good fight from time to time but there really isn't any jealousy.
Re: How long is the honeymoon period?
I'm sure it's different for everyone, but DD2 is 4 weeks old now and DD1 (22 months) just started to get jealous this past week. It's like she finally realized that when DD2 cries it means less attention for her. It doesn't help that DD2 is growing increasingly fussy.
ETA: After the reading the other posts, I should add that it's also true for us that DD1 doesn't "blame" DD2. She just throws a fit when we can't pick her up when we're carrying DD2 around to soothe her and gets upset if she feels like we're paying too much attention to DD2, but she's upset with us, not DD2.
BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence
However I will say that just this week, she has been throwing some mega tantrums! She desperately wants mommy to pick her up more often, especially for things that she enjoyed doing on her own before like going up and down stairs. She has also started to take the baby's pacifier and sit in his bouncy seat...when he isn't of course!
So I think that jealousy has started to set in. She still interacts with her brother, but is demanding much more time from me now too.
Honestly, for me it didn't get hard until my DS (younger child) got mobile. My DD wasn't overly excited about her younger brother (no clapping or squealing or wanting to be with him every moment like some toddlers) but she wasn't jealous of upset either. Essentially, he didn't exist to her until he started approaching her toys and trying to get into her stuff.
Then we went through the period that I call the "dark ages" because my kids fought like cats and dogs for about 6 months. I couldn't leave them alone because they were always crying and fighting (as much as a 6-12 month old and a 2 year old can "fight"). Let's just say my DD didn't appreciate him then.
Now at 3.5 and 2 they are very close and love each other and play very well. Things are MUCH easier. So.. I do hope your honeymoon lasts forever, but if it doesn't, it is okay. I have a feeling that siblings have relationships that are like seasons. They change. All the time. Nomatter what
.
Married 6/28/03
Kate ~ 7/3/09 *** Connor ~ 11/11/10
4 miscarriages: 2007, 2009, 2013, 2014
*~*~*~*~*
No more TTC for us. We are done, and at peace, as a family of 4.
"Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.” — Charles Dickens
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i've had 2u2 for 26 months and there still hasn't been a period where ds got jealous/didn't interact positively with his sister. of course at three and two they have their tiffs but the majority of the time they play nicely together.
that's funny you've heard that. from what i've heard/seen is that kids closer in age usually experience more jealousy since they tend to compete more. kids further apart in age have different interests/are at different levels and therefore less opportunity to compete. a nine year old playing little league is unlikely to be jealous/compete with their 4 year old sibling in t-ball, kwim
i really think sibling relationships are mostly due to temperament with some parenting thrown in there. my kids rarely fight and i think it's due to their personalities meshing well together. i've met plenty of kids closely spaced who were constantly battling and plenty of kids further apart who get along well/aren't jealous at all.