Terrified of bedsharing

FutureMrsTowns

so we are already co-sleeping with DS in a bassinet near the bed, i dont think it would be safe for us to bed share at night as dh tosses and turns a lot and sleeps hard as a rock. however, i would love to be able to bed share during the day when we nap after DH has gone to work, but i am terrified of suffocating him. i am a little overweight, but dont move much in my sleep, i accidentally fell asleep with DS on the breast laying in bed the other day and almost had a heart attack when i realized, and my mother is insistent its not worth the risk. i have started to bring the  top of DSs bassinet(it's like a moses bed thing) in bed with me so i can put a hand on him while we nap, it helps us both sleep, but i wake up with my arm asleep, and would like to feel a bit closer to him... is there a safe way to bedshare with a newborn?

nosoup4u

I think napping is fine, and you could sleep in the middle of the bed at night if you're worried about your DH. We have a king-size bed, and it is fantastic for co-sleeping with a baby - lots of room for everyone. 

Don't use a pillow (though I always used a thin one with me kids) and only use a blanket to your waist. Put your arm out so it's forming an upside-down L when you nurse, so if you fall asleep and start to roll over, you'll wake up. I know that I, personally, sleep differently when my kids are near me - I wake up a ton more, and am attuned to what they are doing. But it's obviously a personal decision! This is a good link:

https://cosleeping.nd.edu/safe-co-sleeping-guidelines/

 

sugarbear0524

If you're nervous about it...you don't have to do it! Put your little one in a co-sleeper, pack and play, or crib in your room (or in their own room, if you prefer).  My son slept in a pack and play in our room for a few months before moving to his crib.  He had no problems and we have an extremely tight bond.

BrittanyDoesDerby

I was also terrified of bed sharing with my baby... before she was born. I don't know what happened, but after she came alone bed sharing felt like the easiest and most natural thing. 

Our bed is directly on the floor. I sleep between her and DH. No heavy comforter. Only one pillow. I've found that I'm very attuned to her needs and location while I'm sleeping with her.

Jbosarge85

BrittanyDoesDerby:

I was also terrified of bed sharing with my baby... before she was born. I don't know what happened, but after she came alone bed sharing felt like the easiest and most natural thing. 

Our bed is directly on the floor. I sleep between her and DH. No heavy comforter. Only one pillow. I've found that I'm very attuned to her needs and location while I'm sleeping with her.

 

This exactly. I sleep between her and my husband. And it's great

SummerOH

BrittanyDoesDerby:

I was also terrified of bed sharing with my baby... before she was born. I don't know what happened, but after she came alone bed sharing felt like the easiest and most natural thing. 

Our bed is directly on the floor. I sleep between her and DH. No heavy comforter. Only one pillow. I've found that I'm very attuned to her needs and location while I'm sleeping with her.

This exactly.  I was terrified at first until I actually did it and realized how safe and easy it is.  Bed sharing seems far more natural and safe to me than letting him sleep in his crib (if he would sleep in his crib, that is!).  He sleeps on his back in the crook of my arm like a PP said.  I'm a light sleeper and don't move when he's next to me, but I like the added security of knowing it would be almost impossible for me to roll over with my arm stuck out like that.   

I also suggest you do some research on the safety of bed sharing to put your mind at ease.  Dr. Sears and Dr. James McKenna both have excellent info on their websites, as well as books.  Many studies show that it's actually safe than putting LO in a crib.  Countries in which bed sharing is common also have the lowest SIDS rates - in some, it's pretty much non-existent.  A lot of the bed sharing deaths can be attributed to alcohol/drug use, letting LO sleep with a sibling, fluffy bedding or couches, etc. 

MommyKayla11

When we coslept, we had DS in the middle of us. We also had a cosleeper on the side of our bed.