Children's party for birthday

momtoRaegan041008

If your child had a children's party for their birthday, did you put anything about not bringing gifts on the invitation?

This will be our first year where she will have a separate party for some of her classmates and honestly she doesn't need anymore toys.  I just want her to have a celebration.

echowysp2

We haven't had parties, but if we do, I'm putting that on the invitation.  Only thing I would worry about is him knowing that his friends got gifts at their parties, why isn't he? 

I'm trying to avoid the whole kid party at this point.  We do family dinners for all the kids in the family, but he's been invited to a lot of friend's parties and now thinks he's having one too.

momtoRaegan041008

cmeon_the_water:

Just don't. We know, we know, we all have too much sh!t already, our kids need nothing, we can't turn around without tripping over a toy. But, put that on the invite and some people will miss it, some people will ignore it, and some people will be left feeling dumb because everyone else showed up with gifts.

I kind of figured this already and I wouldn't want one child to bring on and others not to bring a gift.  I think I just will leave the invite the way I have it then.  Thanks!

ncsumommy

Seriously - I would actually like to send an email to DS's preschool friends parents - let's make a pact, NO ONE has parties for their kids, then OUR kids won't expect one!  We're doing a friend party this year only b/c he thinks he should have one since his friends have and I didn't have a good excuse as to why not, so here we are.  I feel like I tricked into it by a 4 year old!  Nevermind the cost and drama of the whole thing.

As for presents, I would love to put that on the invite but as PP said, people seem to be all weird about it.  My kid also thinks he should get presents, that's actually what he's most excited about (separate issue, re: spoiled 4 year old), so I just said screw it, we'll end up with tons of toys he doesn't need. One way to limit though is to limit the # of guests to the party.  10 friends is MORE than enough...less expense, less presents   

VTbride05

We always put "no gifts please" on our birthday invites. For us we want our kids to know that their party with their friends and family IS their gift. It's a gift of a super fun day. Our kids don't need anything and don't expect anything. My parents and inlaws always bring gifts and we open them later.

Our friends also request no gifts so it's never been an issue with our kids.

VTbride05

momtoRaegan041008:

cmeon_the_water:

Just don't. We know, we know, we all have too much sh!t already, our kids need nothing, we can't turn around without tripping over a toy. But, put that on the invite and some people will miss it, some people will ignore it, and some people will be left feeling dumb because everyone else showed up with gifts.

I kind of figured this already and I wouldn't want one child to bring on and others not to bring a gift.  I think I just will leave the invite the way I have it then.  Thanks!

Like I said we have always asked for no gifts and sometimes a friend might bring a gift. We just put it aside and open it later and send a thank you card. We don't open gifts in front of everyone b/c then it's like show and tell of who brought what and who didn't. 

I would rather someone say No Gifts Please than to take my gift and regift it or give it away. I put a lot of thought into getting personal gifts and while I am happy to give to kids in need I might shop different knowing so in advance.

VTbride05

Last thought I promise

 

This year we hosted a huge Halloween party and asked our friends to all bring a non perishable for the local food shelf. It was great. We got a huge box of food and my son beamed as he brought it in with me.

We have talked about doing the same this year at his 5th birthday party. Set the tone now for how gift giving/getting will be in your family. If you child doesn't need or even want new toys (my 2 year old likes the recycling better than toys) than don't ask for them. Times are hard and spending $20 on a gift for each birthday party is a lot for some families. 

neverblushed

I always want to do that, but I don't.  Here's why:

When I receive an invite that specifies "Please no gifts" I respect that request and I do not bring a gift.  But I'm usually in the minority.  Many people will bring gifts anyway. Then there's awkwardness.  I hate feeling like I've screwed up somehow by not bringing a gift.

The one time when parents actually honored the host mom's request for not giftrs was when the invite asked people to bring a can or bag of pet food instead of a gift that the birthday child would donate to the animal shelter.  This way people didn't have to show up empty-handed.  It actually worked!

Andie41

VTbride05:

We always put "no gifts please" on our birthday invites. For us we want our kids to know that their party with their friends and family IS their gift. It's a gift of a super fun day. Our kids don't need anything and don't expect anything. My parents and inlaws always bring gifts and we open them later. Our friends also request no gifts so it's never been an issue with our kids.

This! It's worked well the last two years for us.

jlw2505

We have had a couple of the "no gifts please" parties this year but only when the child invited the whole class.  A few of those simple said something along the lines of - instead of a gift, please make a donation to xyz in the kids name.  One in the fall asked for people to bring hats, mittons and scarfs to be donated.  I always feel bad at this age when it is a no gifts thing as I don't know how much the kids really understand the whole thing and they go to friends parties and see them getting gifts.  I tend to still get something like a gift card for Target along with making the donation.  We don't invite a ton of kids so for now, I stick to the tradition of gifts.  When they are older, they can make the call if they want to do the donation thing or get gifts.