s/o Working

orangegoggles

Did you and your H initially agree on your decision to stay at home or go back to work? Are you on the same page now? What brought you to an agreement? 

julesjb

There was never really a discussion we both always knew we would both work so our discussions were always around what we would do for child care. When my second is born in July we are considering me taking an additional day off and working 3/4 time purely for financial reasons but if we can swing it I'll stay full time.

JulyMomma2U2

Initially, we both agreed that I'd return back to work full time.. and, this was probably more my decision, than his, as I never thought I'd "want" otherwise.  Now, having been back at work for a while, I've realized that maybe this isn't exactly what I want.. I have a really hard time being away from DS and not having any control over his days.. we've talked a lot about me switching to P/T, if my company will approve it.. and, if not, me taking a year or 2 off of work.  He's absolutely on board, 85% of the time.. he's actually the one that keeps telling me just to not go back once baby #2 is born.. but, that other 15% of the time, he wavers a bit, just worrying about how the financial change will drastically alter our lifestyles.. our salaries are almost equal.. so, though we could "live" just off of his.. it's a very large chunk we'd be missing without mine as well.. I think what's aiding us in "agreement" for me to take some time off is the stress that we're both under quite often given our current situations.. At the end of the day.. we've both agreed DS (and, DS #2 coming soon) are the absolute world and our highest priority.. everything else will work itself. out.

holly321

Dh and I really want me home more, and we are working towards that goal, I possibly can quit my job in a year.

cmumama

MH never wanted me to stay at home.  He loved our double income...and so did I.  My job relocated out of state, so it was the perfect opportunity to stay home.  We've adjusted to one income, but there are definitely days we both miss my salary.

ksyknelvr73

Our discussion was that financially, we both have to work in order to maintain the lifestyle that we desire. In addition, I am the breadwinner so I have to work regardless. DH likes to work, so quitting wasn't an option for him. So...that's about it. DH is a teacher, so I pretty much knew from day one I'd always be working.

Missa_g

We always knew we wanted one of us to SAH. Ideally it would be me but I make significantly more than he ever did. It's barely realistic for us to live on my salary but we make it work because its important to us. He absolutely loves being a SAHD. I'm lucky that we're pretty much always on the same page about big decisions.

ewilliams1127

Initially I told DH that when #2 comes I'm finished working.  However, after seeing the benefits of a two income household I have re-thought that scenario.  We are currently debt-free but the house and we have one rental unit.  We hope to pay off the house, pay cash for a bigger car and possibly purchase another rental unit to offset the loss of income.  To do that, I will continue working but not in my current position.  We have decided that I will work up to the birth of our next child since my job is awesome with maternity assignments, then transfer to another less stressful position in the same company.  

We hope for me to stay home with #3 if that time comes or if we can I would just manage the rental units.   

luvmyducks

We discussed it before we even got married.  It would have never been an option if we didn't have the income DH has, but since he did it was talked about.  His mom has MS so she stopped working when he was in middle school or high school and he enjoyed having her there.  I was raised by my single dad who worked every day and I always had a nanny, wasn't really able to do extra curricular activities, and my dad missed out on a ton.  Since I didn't have a mom in the picture either, it has always been very important to me to be there for my kids as much as possible.  I was in retail management and my schedule sucked.  It would have been really hard for me to do that while still working 60+hr weeks, all holidays and weekends, and evenings.  So it was kind of a no-brainer for us.  If something happened to DH's income, I would go back to work though.

Sonadora

H initially made some noise about me staying at home. I may or may not have laughed in his face. For multiple reasons, but at the time I made significantly more money and there's no way we could have afforded for me to SAH. I told him he could SAH, and he quickly backed down.

karma79

We never had a choice. I had to go back. We are on the same page that it sucks. LOL.

KJsbabe

Even when we were dating, DH always said it was his goal to make enough money that I could stay home. Up until a year ago when he got his new job, SAH wasn't even an option, though. I needed to work to help make ends meet. Now with his new job, we're in a much better situation financially. He's been nervous to actually pull the trigger and go down to one income, so we're doing a trial period right now. We've been living off of his income and putting mine driectly into savings for a few months now. We're paying somethings off and cutting out other things to leave a bit more breathing room, and so far things are working out well. A few more months and I'll get to SAH! So yeah, we've always been on the same page regarding this and most things in life.

D&D4Ever7

I don't think we had a discussion about working or SAH.  We both make about same salary and knew that we both want to work.  With one child, daycare is manageable, but when we have a second things will be tight for a while, but still doable.  In our careers, if we took a break we will have a difficult time get a job, so we are definitely going to stick with our jobs.  We had some rough times last year, but we muddled through.  My job gives me enough flexibility to spend a lot of time with my DS, which helps a lot.

jertie

I'm with Jules - there really wasn't any discussion - we both knew I would be going back to work.  We both make a really good living - and we're hoping to retire before we're too old to do anything fun - so back to the grindstone for me.