The unknown

csharpe27

No offense to the people that have been through miscarriages lately but man I feel like I have seen them more often. Makes me nervous. I have my NT next Thursday. Scared to go in and no HB.

jjkaye

twolittlewheels:

I'm sorry you are worried, but I think this sounds selfish and disrespectful.  Everyone else's pregnancy/losses have no basis on yours.

Agreed... it's kind of s hit ty to post right after someone posted about their loss.

algalphys

The unknown and lack of control is specifically why I dislike pregnancy.  I had a missed MC in November and just had a good NT Scan yesterday and yet here I am not wanting the whole world to know.  We told all of hte rest of our family yesterday and I will most likely tell who needs to know soon but a dear friend of mine lost here baby at about 22 weeks last month and that weighs on my mind heavily.  Hugs to you, I hope everything goes well for you next Thursday!

diablesse

jjkaye:

Agreed... it's kind of s hit ty to post right after someone posted about their loss.

 Exactly 

kat81again2

jjkaye:

twolittlewheels:

I'm sorry you are worried, but I think this sounds selfish and disrespectful.  Everyone else's pregnancy/losses have no basis on yours.

Agreed... it's kind of s hit ty to post right after someone posted about their loss.

OP, I feel you on this post (except not as much personally today because I just had my appt where we heard the hb for the first time) but I agree with these people primarily because you said "no offense to the people...." I've pretty much NEVER heard a sentence that started off with "no offense" that wasn't actually made MORE offensive by that statement. 

csharpe27

Whoa! Chill out! It was not right after someone had posted their loss. Their are losses on this board everyday several times a day. My intention was not to be disrespectful. Just wanted some reassurance from everyone. Guess not. Seems like some of these ladies are looking for a fight!

revlaurawittman

csharpe27:

Whoa! Chill out! It was not right after someone had posted their loss. Their are losses on this board everyday several times a day. My intention was not to be disrespectful. Just wanted some reassurance from everyone. Guess not. Seems like some of these ladies are looking for a fight!

A lot of these ladies have had losses themselves, and what you wrote did seem insensitive.  I am very sorry that you are worried, and I hope that your pregnancy goes well.  Pregnancy is a nerve-wrecking thing and you are always going to be nervous.  We have had three ultrasounds this time, and heard the hb on doppler a few times, but I still worry that something is going to go wrong.  Parenthood is a lifetime of worry and anxiety.  Take a deep breath, things are going to be okay. 

Danij100

csharpe27:

Whoa! Chill out! It was not right after someone had posted their loss. Their are losses on this board everyday several times a day. My intention was not to be disrespectful. Just wanted some reassurance from everyone. Guess not. Seems like some of these ladies are looking for a fight![/quote
Exactly!!! And NOW they want to be sensitive and care about other people's feelings?? These people are so wishy washy and bad hypocrites!!!

ravenclaw1

Danij100:

csharpe27:

Whoa! Chill out! It was not right after someone had posted their loss. Their are losses on this board everyday several times a day. My intention was not to be disrespectful. Just wanted some reassurance from everyone. Guess not. Seems like some of these ladies are looking for a fight![/quote
Exactly!!! And NOW they want to be sensitive and care about other people's feelings?? These people are so wishy washy and bad hypocrites!!!

FFS.

I hate these posts. Miscarriages are not contagious. And it's one thing to Snark about too many deli meat posts, and another thing to be rude about miscarriages.

This is an insensitive post considering several women have posted today they lost their babies.

I've had to write those goodbyes twice, and it sucks. Have a little bit of compassion, and don't make posts like this.

Also, I know it's hard to read them, and nobody wants to think about themselves in their shoes. But please don't ignore these goodbye posts. Offer up a little bit of sympathy.

awright1983

Seriously?  This is my first pregnancy, I have not suffered a loss which I am so grateful for.  Of course I am nervous about my appointment next week.  But I could not imagine posting what you did.  Maybe the phrasing was poor but it seriously came off that you wished these women were not posting about their losses.  That is awful.

JocelynB0911

I have found that instead of worrying about something like this you need to approach each day saying "today, I am pregnant. There is a growing baby in my tummy. It is going to be ok."

ETA: poor wording

Nukke

OP, I understand how you feel.  Reading posts like those can definitely feed your anxiety.  We're all anxious, but I hope that won't keep you from showing your sympathy and support to those ladies who do post about their losses.

revlaurawittman

twolittlewheels:

Seriously! It's called having some compassion. I will not apologize for caring more about someone's loss than someone's fear of lunchmeat or lack of symptoms. And, if you feel those deserve equal sensitivity, you have a hell of a lot to learn.

I will apologize to all those with losses that this has been brought to this level. No one should have to go through that and especially shouldn't have to validate their feelings to callous idiots.

 

Amen. 

Chilko33

twolittlewheels:

Danij100:

csharpe27:

Whoa! Chill out! It was not right after someone had posted their loss. Their are losses on this board everyday several times a day. My intention was not to be disrespectful. Just wanted some reassurance from everyone. Guess not. Seems like some of these ladies are looking for a fight![/quote Exactly!!! And NOW they want to be sensitive and care about other people's feelings?? These people are so wishy washy and bad hypocrites!!!

Seriously! It's called having some compassion. I will not apologize for caring more about someone's loss than someone's fear of lunchmeat or lack of symptoms. And, if you feel those deserve equal sensitivity, you have a hell of a lot to learn.

I will apologize to all those with losses that this has been brought to this level. No one should have to go through that and especially shouldn't have to validate their feelings to callous idiots.

Agreed! I am not normally one to be critical of others posts, but this one seemed a bit over the top considering the post of a loss just a few post below. This is my first pregnancy and have not experienced a loss, but I can imagine it would be heartbreaking. And on top of the heart break, to share that news with this board toakes courage and it is clear that we are a support network for each other.

I get that this posts are hard to read and that each day of pregnancy brings about new, unknown and sometimes scary experiences. But have faith that your baby is developing and healthy. Try to not embrace the pregnancy with fear, I am sure it is not healthy for the baby or for you.

4Angel5

For what it's worth, I didn't feel like you were complaining about people posting about losses, just that the high frequency was making you more nervous. It's so easy for people to missjudge the tone of a post, and I'm sorry so many people jumped down your throat. I had a mc last year, so I know how you feel, even after hearing my LO's HB. If people ignored the "no offense" and took it genuinely, rather than the way most people SAY it today, they might realize the context better, and simply say "I feel for you, and I hope everything is ok". That's all anyone on here can hope for, encouragement and support, right?

staceymack

csharpe27:

Whoa! Chill out! It was not right after someone had posted their loss. Their are losses on this board everyday several times a day. My intention was not to be disrespectful. Just wanted some reassurance from everyone. Guess not. Seems like some of these ladies are looking for a fight!

We cannot give you reassurance. No one here knows from one day to the next the fate of yours, or even our own, pregnancies. If the posts are causing you to feel this way, I would recommend taking a break. Regardless of how you meant it, it came across all wrong. 

Loveniz

csharpe27:

Whoa! Chill out! It was not right after someone had posted their loss. Their are losses on this board everyday several times a day. My intention was not to be disrespectful. Just wanted some reassurance from everyone. Guess not. Seems like some of these ladies are looking for a fight!

Wow! As someone who has had two previous losses, your comments are very offensive. Like Raven mentioned miscarriages aren't contagious! But yes they do occur and are common. We all want reassurance, but no one can promise you everything will be ok. The only person looking for a fight was you by posting something so offensive. 

We should all offer support and condolences to those whom experience a loss. 

daileym

csharpe27:

Whoa! Chill out! It was not right after someone had posted their loss. Their are losses on this board everyday several times a day. My intention was not to be disrespectful. Just wanted some reassurance from everyone. Guess not. Seems like some of these ladies are looking for a fight!

OP- we can all relate to the anxiety of waiting to make sure everything is okay. I know you didn't mean to offend anyone at first, it was just worded in a way that did. If you would have came back and said Whoa, I didn't mean to offend anyone, this would have blown over really quickly, but you chose to attack the people you offended by saying they were looking for a fight. This is such a sensitive subject and a little compassion would go a long way for you. 

cvl105

Miscarriage occurs 1 in 4 pregnancies. It is common, more common than you'd imagine. There's nothing you can do to avoid it. If the pregnancy isn't healthy it just isn't.  There's no use in stressing yourself out over it or constantly worrying about it.

sunshine2929

cvl105:

Miscarriage occurs 1 in 4 pregnancies. It is common, more common than you'd imagine. There's nothing you can do to avoid it. If the pregnancy isn't healthy it just isn't. nbsp;There's no use in stressing yourself out over it or constantly worrying about it.

I'm just curious. . Have you suffered a loss? I only ask because knowing the statistic doesn't necessarily comfort someone. To say theres no use worrying about it; that's easier said than done.

cvl105

sunshine2929:

cvl105:

Miscarriage occurs 1 in 4 pregnancies. It is common, more common than you'd imagine. There's nothing you can do to avoid it. If the pregnancy isn't healthy it just isn't. nbsp;There's no use in stressing yourself out over it or constantly worrying about it.

I'm just curious. . Have you suffered a loss? I only ask because knowing the statistic doesn't necessarily comfort someone. To say theres no use worrying about it; that's easier said than done.

I have, in October at 12 weeks. I think about the possibility still, but I don't worry myself sick about it or enough to post a thread like this.

daileym

sunshine2929:

cvl105:

Miscarriage occurs 1 in 4 pregnancies. It is common, more common than you'd imagine. There's nothing you can do to avoid it. If the pregnancy isn't healthy it just isn't. nbsp;There's no use in stressing yourself out over it or constantly worrying about it.

I'm just curious. . Have you suffered a loss? I only ask because knowing the statistic doesn't necessarily comfort someone. To say theres no use worrying about it; that's easier said than done.

Why did you ask if she had a loss? Did it make her point more or less valid to you? I actually was comforted during my loss to know the statistic about 1 in 4, it made me feel like I wasn't the only one this happened too. 

cvl105

daileym:

sunshine2929:

cvl105:

Miscarriage occurs 1 in 4 pregnancies. It is common, more common than you'd imagine. There's nothing you can do to avoid it. If the pregnancy isn't healthy it just isn't. nbsp;There's no use in stressing yourself out over it or constantly worrying about it.

I'm just curious. . Have you suffered a loss? I only ask because knowing the statistic doesn't necessarily comfort someone. To say theres no use worrying about it; that's easier said than done.

Why did you ask if she had a loss? Did it make her point more or less valid to you? I actually was comforted during my loss to know the statistic about 1 in 4, it made me feel like I wasn't the only one this happened too. 

Thank you. We think alike. 

sunshine2929

daileym:

sunshine2929:

cvl105:

Miscarriage occurs 1 in 4 pregnancies. It is common, more common than you'd imagine. There's nothing you can do to avoid it. If the pregnancy isn't healthy it just isn't. nbsp;There's no use in stressing yourself out over it or constantly worrying about it.

I'm just curious. . Have you suffered a loss? I only ask because knowing the statistic doesn't necessarily comfort someone. To say theres no use worrying about it; that's easier said than done.

Why did you ask if she had a loss? Did it make her point more or less valid to you? I actually was comforted during my loss to know the statistic about 1 in 4, it made me feel like I wasn't the only one this happened too. 

I only asked because I had a friend say the same thing to me when I said how worried I was. I guess she thought it would make me feel better but it actually bothered me, it felt like it was being downplayed because it was so common...

sunshine2929

cvl105:

sunshine2929:

cvl105:

Miscarriage occurs 1 in 4 pregnancies. It is common, more common than you'd imagine. There's nothing you can do to avoid it. If the pregnancy isn't healthy it just isn't. nbsp;There's no use in stressing yourself out over it or constantly worrying about it.

I'm just curious. . Have you suffered a loss? I only ask because knowing the statistic doesn't necessarily comfort someone. To say theres no use worrying about it; that's easier said than done.

I have, in October at 12 weeks. I think about the possibility still, but I don't worry myself sick about it or enough to post a thread like this.

I wish I could stop worrying. I'm 13 weeks tomorrow and so thankful for that but am so nervous to let myself get excited!

achadwick19

The fact that this started with "no offense" means there is nothing worth listening to after that...

daileym

sunshine2929:

daileym:

sunshine2929:

cvl105:

Miscarriage occurs 1 in 4 pregnancies. It is common, more common than you'd imagine. There's nothing you can do to avoid it. If the pregnancy isn't healthy it just isn't. nbsp;There's no use in stressing yourself out over it or constantly worrying about it.

I'm just curious. . Have you suffered a loss? I only ask because knowing the statistic doesn't necessarily comfort someone. To say theres no use worrying about it; that's easier said than done.

Why did you ask if she had a loss? Did it make her point more or less valid to you? I actually was comforted during my loss to know the statistic about 1 in 4, it made me feel like I wasn't the only one this happened too. 

I only asked because I had a friend say the same thing to me when I said how worried I was. I guess she thought it would make me feel better but it actually bothered me, it felt like it was being downplayed because it was so common...

Still doesn't explain why you would ask her that, just explains why you took offense to it.  

nbcarlson

staceymack:

csharpe27:

Whoa! Chill out! It was not right after someone had posted their loss. Their are losses on this board everyday several times a day. My intention was not to be disrespectful. Just wanted some reassurance from everyone. Guess not. Seems like some of these ladies are looking for a fight!

We cannot give you reassurance. No one here knows from one day to the next the fate of yours, or even our own, pregnancies. If the posts are causing you to feel this way, I would recommend taking a break. Regardless of how you meant it, it came across all wrong. 

This. How incredibly insensitive. If you have to start a post by saying "no offense" you should probably think twice about posting it. If you feel worried try to imagine how someone who has suffered a loss, or worse multiple losses, feels.

sunshine2929

daileym:

sunshine2929:

daileym:

sunshine2929:

cvl105:

Miscarriage occurs 1 in 4 pregnancies. It is common, more common than you'd imagine. There's nothing you can do to avoid it. If the pregnancy isn't healthy it just isn't. nbsp;There's no use in stressing yourself out over it or constantly worrying about it.

I'm just curious. . Have you suffered a loss? I only ask because knowing the statistic doesn't necessarily comfort someone. To say theres no use worrying about it; that's easier said than done.

Why did you ask if she had a loss? Did it make her point more or less valid to you? I actually was comforted during my loss to know the statistic about 1 in 4, it made me feel like I wasn't the only one this happened too. 

I only asked because I had a friend say the same thing to me when I said how worried I was. I guess she thought it would make me feel better but it actually bothered me, it felt like it was being downplayed because it was so common...

Still doesn't explain why you would ask her that, just explains why you took offense to it.  

I wanted to know if she had been through it, that's all because i find its easier for others to say this when they havent gone through it. This is based on the reactions i got from people after my m/c. Now that I know she has gone through it also, I wish I could not worry so much like she is doing. I try to tell myself not to stress but find it hard.

missmuffin87

Danij100:csharpe27:Whoa! Chill out! It was not right after someone had posted their loss. Their are losses on this board everyday several times a day. My intention was not to be disrespectful. Just wanted some reassurance from everyone. Guess not. Seems like some of these ladies are looking for a fight![/quote Exactly!!! And NOW they want to be sensitive and care about other people's feelings?? These people are so wishy washy and bad hypocrites!!!

what the assfuuck is going on here? Back off ladies. This is not the subject to be starting drama over.  

daileym

sunshine2929:

daileym:

sunshine2929:

daileym:

sunshine2929:

cvl105:

Miscarriage occurs 1 in 4 pregnancies. It is common, more common than you'd imagine. There's nothing you can do to avoid it. If the pregnancy isn't healthy it just isn't. nbsp;There's no use in stressing yourself out over it or constantly worrying about it.

I'm just curious. . Have you suffered a loss? I only ask because knowing the statistic doesn't necessarily comfort someone. To say theres no use worrying about it; that's easier said than done.

Why did you ask if she had a loss? Did it make her point more or less valid to you? I actually was comforted during my loss to know the statistic about 1 in 4, it made me feel like I wasn't the only one this happened too. 

I only asked because I had a friend say the same thing to me when I said how worried I was. I guess she thought it would make me feel better but it actually bothered me, it felt like it was being downplayed because it was so common...

Still doesn't explain why you would ask her that, just explains why you took offense to it.  

I wanted to know if she had been through it, that's all because i find its easier for others to say this when they havent gone through it. This is based on the reactions i got from people after my m/c. Now that I know she has gone through it also, I wish I could not worry so much like she is doing. I try to tell myself not to stress but find it hard.

 That is what I figured. If she would have said no you would have played it as if she just couldn't relate. But, she didn't put her loss in her sig. She has her reasons, maybe she doesn't want to talk about it. My point is, it's rude to ask because you were going to use the fact that she didn't have a loss against her, or you called someone out who doesn't want to talk about it.  

LnR70707

missmuffin87:

Danij100:

csharpe27:

Whoa! Chill out! It was not right after someone had posted their loss. Their are losses on this board everyday several times a day. My intention was not to be disrespectful. Just wanted some reassurance from everyone. Guess not. Seems like some of these ladies are looking for a fight![/quote Exactly!!! And NOW they want to be sensitive and care about other people's feelings?? These people are so wishy washy and bad hypocrites!!!

what the assfuuck is going on here? Back off ladies. This is not the subject to be starting drama over.  

So you think its cool to complain that other's heartbreak and loss is putting a damper on your pregnancy experience?  If OP doesn't want to hear it, she should step away from the internet and go bury her head in the sand.

sunshine2929

daileym:

sunshine2929:

daileym:

sunshine2929:

daileym:

sunshine2929:

cvl105:

Miscarriage occurs 1 in 4 pregnancies. It is common, more common than you'd imagine. There's nothing you can do to avoid it. If the pregnancy isn't healthy it just isn't. nbsp;There's no use in stressing yourself out over it or constantly worrying about it.

I'm just curious. . Have you suffered a loss? I only ask because knowing the statistic doesn't necessarily comfort someone. To say theres no use worrying about it; that's easier said than done.

Why did you ask if she had a loss? Did it make her point more or less valid to you? I actually was comforted during my loss to know the statistic about 1 in 4, it made me feel like I wasn't the only one this happened too. 

I only asked because I had a friend say the same thing to me when I said how worried I was. I guess she thought it would make me feel better but it actually bothered me, it felt like it was being downplayed because it was so common...

Still doesn't explain why you would ask her that, just explains why you took offense to it.  

I wanted to know if she had been through it, that's all because i find its easier for others to say this when they havent gone through it. This is based on the reactions i got from people after my m/c. Now that I know she has gone through it also, I wish I could not worry so much like she is doing. I try to tell myself not to stress but find it hard.

 That is what I figured. If she would have said no you would have played it as if she just couldn't relate. But, she didn't put her loss in her sig. She has her reasons, maybe she doesn't want to talk about it. My point is, it's rude to ask because you were going to use the fact that she didn't have a loss against her, or you called someone out who doesn't want to talk about it.  

I'm on mobile so can't see sigs. Think what you want about why I asked. It struck a nerve with mr hearing a stat. No matter what everyone deals with this in different ways and what you think is rude I think was a legitimate question. And yes if she said she didnt have one I probably would have said she cant relate.

diablesse

L&R70707:

missmuffin87:

Danij100:

csharpe27:

Whoa! Chill out! It was not right after someone had posted their loss. Their are losses on this board everyday several times a day. My intention was not to be disrespectful. Just wanted some reassurance from everyone. Guess not. Seems like some of these ladies are looking for a fight![/quote Exactly!!! And NOW they want to be sensitive and care about other people's feelings?? These people are so wishy washy and bad hypocrites!!!

what the assfuuck is going on here? Back off ladies. This is not the subject to be starting drama over.  

So you think its cool to complain that other's heartbreak and loss is putting a damper on your pregnancy experience?  If OP doesn't want to hear it, she should step away from the internet and go bury her head in the sand.

I read this differently. I thought she was telling csharpe27 to back off and not cause drama. 

direy25

diablesse:

L&R70707:

missmuffin87:

Danij100:

csharpe27:

Whoa! Chill out! It was not right after someone had posted their loss. Their are losses on this board everyday several times a day. My intention was not to be disrespectful. Just wanted some reassurance from everyone. Guess not. Seems like some of these ladies are looking for a fight![/quote Exactly!!! And NOW they want to be sensitive and care about other people's feelings?? These people are so wishy washy and bad hypocrites!!!

what the assfuuck is going on here? Back off ladies. This is not the subject to be starting drama over.  

So you think its cool to complain that other's heartbreak and loss is putting a damper on your pregnancy experience?  If OP doesn't want to hear it, she should step away from the internet and go bury her head in the sand.

I read this differently. I thought she was telling csharpe27 to back off and not cause drama. 

Same thought here. 

missmuffin87

direy25:

diablesse:

L&R70707:

missmuffin87:

Danij100:

csharpe27:

Whoa! Chill out! It was not right after someone had posted their loss. Their are losses on this board everyday several times a day. My intention was not to be disrespectful. Just wanted some reassurance from everyone. Guess not. Seems like some of these ladies are looking for a fight![/quote Exactly!!! And NOW they want to be sensitive and care about other people's feelings?? These people are so wishy washy and bad hypocrites!!!

what the assfuuck is going on here? Back off ladies. This is not the subject to be starting drama over.  

So you think its cool to complain that other's heartbreak and loss is putting a damper on your pregnancy experience?  If OP doesn't want to hear it, she should step away from the internet and go bury her head in the sand.

I read this differently. I thought she was telling csharpe27 to back off and not cause drama. 

Same thought here. 

yeah I was telling csharpe and Danij to stop being BSC drama hos on subjects that deserve a little goddamn human decency and respect. Is that clear?  

Kdstar411

4Angel5:

For what it's worth, I didn't feel like you were complaining about people posting about losses, just that the high frequency was making you more nervous. It's so easy for people to missjudge the tone of a post, and I'm sorry so many people jumped down your throat. I had a mc last year, so I know how you feel, even after hearing my LO's HB. If people ignored the "no offense" and took it genuinely, rather than the way most people SAY it today, they might realize the context better, and simply say "I feel for you, and I hope everything is ok". That's all anyone on here can hope for, encouragement and support, right?

This.

Danij100

missmuffin87:

direy25:

diablesse:

L&R70707:

missmuffin87:

Danij100:

csharpe27:

Whoa! Chill out! It was not right after someone had posted their loss. Their are losses on this board everyday several times a day. My intention was not to be disrespectful. Just wanted some reassurance from everyone. Guess not. Seems like some of these ladies are looking for a fight![/quote Exactly!!! And NOW they want to be sensitive and care about other people's feelings?? These people are so wishy washy and bad hypocrites!!!

what the assfuuck is going on here? Back off ladies. This is not the subject to be starting drama over.  

So you think its cool to complain that other's heartbreak and loss is putting a damper on your pregnancy experience?  If OP doesn't want to hear it, she should step away from the internet and go bury her head in the sand.

I read this differently. I thought she was telling csharpe27 to back off and not cause drama. 

Same thought here. 

yeah I was telling csharpe and Danij to stop being BSC drama hos on subjects that deserve a little goddamn human decency and respect. Is that clear?  

Well last time I Checked, this is a public board and I can say whatever the fluck I want!!! End of story!!

kennazebrowsky

We are all nervous and a miscarriage can happen to anyone. I think it is important to try to stay positive, take care of yourself and hope for the best. If it worries you than I would not read any posts about losses because it will make you more nervous.

 

I do not think you were trying to be insensitive and unfortunately sometimes it is hard to read a persons thoughts on the internet. Don't let it bother you because people have their own opinions and maybe they took what you said the wrong way. 

 

Good luck with your appointment and pregnancy!